home Cream Increased sense of responsibility for what to do. How to get rid of the constant accuser within yourself? Psychology. How to get rid of unhealthy feelings of guilt

Increased sense of responsibility for what to do. How to get rid of the constant accuser within yourself? Psychology. How to get rid of unhealthy feelings of guilt

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Feeling guilty is an indicator that we have done something wrong. But if you feel guilty after correcting your mistake or generally for someone else's actions, then most likely you suffer from unhealthy feelings of guilt.

website proposes to deal with this problem.

How do you know if your guilt is unhealthy?

You feel guilty almost every day.
You often ask for forgiveness.
You feel guilty when someone else breaks the rules (talking on the phone in a movie theater, being rude to the cashier, etc.).
If someone says your job is bad, you think you are bad.
You worry whether you were understood correctly and what they thought about you.
In response to criticism, you make excuses and cannot answer directly.
You always strive to “save the day,” even if you are not asked to.
You hide a lot and don’t say anything, so as not to offend a person.

Why do unhealthy feelings of guilt appear?

1. Parenting

Parents often, without realizing it, instill this painful feeling in their children. For example, they say: “Because of you, I had to blush at the meeting!”, “Because of your music, I had a headache!” Unfortunately, this is the most common reason that teaches a person to feel chronically guilty.

2. Perfectionism

As children, we were praised for getting straight A's and washing the dishes, but scolded for torn jeans and a mess in the room. So it turns out that an attitude is fixed in the head: if there is something wrong nearby, then I am wrong.

3. Hyper-responsibility

Everyone is responsible for their actions and attitude towards life - it’s time to understand this a long time ago. But if you feel responsible for the actions of your colleagues, relatives, or a random passerby on the street, this is no longer normal.

Why is it difficult for us to get rid of guilt?

How to get rid of unhealthy feelings of guilt?

Try it find reasons your unhealthy feelings. Remember if your parents criticized you, think about why you always need to take first place. Understand that these reasons no longer have any influence on you in real life.
Praise yourself. Take time every day to remember (or better yet, write down) your positive qualities and merits. If at work you spent the whole day communicating with a client, but he did not sign a contract, this is also a merit - you fulfilled your duties, besides, one more person will now know about your professional qualities.
Don't compare yourself to others. Remember: you don't need to be better than someone else, you need to be better than you were in the past.
Stop saving all “drowning” people, because you risk falling out of the boat yourself. Recognize that everyone is responsible for their own life.
Speak openly about what you like and what you don't like. Unhealthy guilt is unspoken aggression directed at oneself.
Try it write an official explanatory note, why and for what you are to blame, what consequences this led to. Most likely, it will turn out to be illogical nonsense.
Don't dwell on mistakes learn from them.
Don't try to please everyone. Be yourself.
remember, that mistakes are not a crime. Mistakes are a lack of knowledge and experience that you accumulate over time. Don't forget the following truths:

It's not your fault how the other person reacts.. If he's angry at you, those are his feelings and it's up to him to decide what to do with them.
It's not your fault that you don't know something.. We are not born with a ready-made set of knowledge and skills; we acquire them throughout our lives.
It's not your fault that you don't know how to do something.. You will learn everything if you want.
You are not to blame for the behavior and actions of other people. Don't let anyone sit on your neck.
Your loved ones will never stop loving you. Love cannot escape from one mistake.

The responsibility of employees in the performance of their work duties is a very important point. Often subordinates shift it to management, arguing that they lack authority. Although, in fact, this is an example of a standard evasion of responsibility, which is found in many companies. How to teach subordinates to be more responsible?

In the master class “The Winner’s Path: Management Struggle,” he describes in detail the tricks employees use against the manager. For example, a subordinate turns to his boss with a question of how to resolve a certain situation. The boss answers. Who is responsible for the outcome of the situation? Of course, the leader is in the opinion of the subordinate. The employee is satisfied, the issue is resolved, the discomfort is eliminated. If something goes wrong, who will be held accountable? Well, of course, from the one who proposed a solution to the problem.

How to teach subordinates to take responsibility? In a situation where a manager is considering an employee’s question, he should not offer his own option, but directly ask:

– How would you answer this question?

If several alternative options are provided to subordinates, the manager should not indicate one of them either. Better to clarify:

– Which answer out of the three do you think is the best? Right. Why did you come to me? Do you want me to be responsible for this?

Another way to discourage an employee's tricks, as Vladimir Tarasov notes in his book, is to burden him with responsibility. It is necessary to give him such motivation that he checks the task for you as conscientiously as if he were doing it for himself. Loading him with responsibility means building a technological chain in his picture of the world that connects the quality of his check with the inevitable and personally important consequences for him. Attitude to little things shows the degree of skill in the matter, life and other experience, the degree of civilization of the individual.

Responsibility - an uncomfortable experience that can be observed not only in professional activities, but also in personal life. We always want to find someone who could make a decision for us, and even better, completely relieve us of responsibility. Every person in his life plays the role of both a subordinate and a boss. The manager himself acts in some areas of life as a subordinate, and, of course, knows about all the tricks of the game called “transfer of responsibility.”

Alexander Fridman on the responsibility of subordinates

What is subordinate responsibility? There are people with different thresholds of responsibility - some have this quality developed better, others worse. People with a high coefficient of awareness think through their actions, do not need confirmation of each step, and use their heads “for their intended purpose.” Such people can be conditionally called “samurai”. There is an opposite type - the so-called “Rastafarians”. They are unable to control themselves, they do not want and cannot be responsible for anything. There is also an intermediate type of people who, in different situations, behave both responsibly and irresponsibly, depending on what the external circumstances are.

How to increase the external responsibility of employees? recommends following these rules:

develop and implement a coordinate system (introduce rules, principles, even terms);
give employees the right to make amendments to the design of this system;
set up a feedback channel between employees and the manager;
control compliance by subordinates with the conditions of the coordinate system;
encourage employees who work according to the rules of the system.

British entrepreneur Richard Branson said: “If you don’t know how to teach your subordinates independence, you need to give them freedom. Allow employees to come to work at any time; if a person needs a two-month vacation, give it!” What did the businessman expect from people? Manifestations of the best qualities - responsibility, independence in conditions of freedom and the absence of “canons” in the workplace.
Can you agree with the British businessman? Only partly. Not all people placed in such conditions will show their best qualities. Only people with a high degree of internal responsibility will correctly use the freedom provided. The rest will view it as a favorable breeding ground for the implementation of their goals, but not the goals of the company.

What is the secret of Branson's approach to work? It can be assumed that his company has a good selection of personnel, and people with a low threshold of responsibility are simply not hired. The second option is that a person without strict selection is accepted into the company, given freedom, and then they see how he shows himself in the process of work. If you fail, you are fired. Failure to comply with such conditions would lead to the fact that Branson’s company could simply become “a haven for lazy and well-fed cats.”

Many Western companies preach rather strict principles that no one talks about, but they are generally known, they are known “by default.” For example, if a person asks for a long vacation - yes, please, but first complete the tasks you need to do. If you don’t do it, the full responsibility for it is on you.

How to increase the independence of subordinates: down with irresponsibility

If you analyze the actions of employees in a company, you can determine the degree of their responsibility. Low indicators will be in the presence of the following signs:

1. Employees constantly and persistently perform a lot of meaningless, routine work.
2. There is no autonomy in actions: colleagues are additionally involved in tasks that can be performed by one person.
3. Responsibility for work results is not defined: it is transferred from one subordinate to another.
4. Employees lack initiative and lack motivation.
5. There is a high degree of aggression in the team.

How else to increase the responsibility and independence of subordinates in the company? First of all, you need to introduce changes to the corporate culture and analyze the motivational system. This is a long individual work with all parts of the company - the systemic process must affect all segments of the organization.

The clear presence of rules and instructions regarding business processes facilitates decision-making in the company. All employees must be responsible, regardless of their position. The attention of the HR service primarily falls to those departments in which there is low independence.

A step towards increasing the independence of subordinates is the abandonment of the traditional management pyramid and the transition to decentralization. The company's employees are given new boundaries of opportunity. They take part in discussing issues, business processes, and solving difficult work issues. Initiative and independent work are encouraged.

For example, at the Masterfiber company (Moscow), the question of how to increase the independence of employees is not raised. Subordinates are prohibited from contacting management to resolve a problem. There are clear rules: in relation to which issues subordinates rely on their own authority, and in which cases they need the approval of management, and in writing. Yes, it is approval, but not a decision. In writing, the employee addresses the problem and offers options for resolving it. The manager studies the information provided, approves one of the options or asks to choose another.

By solving work problems for subordinates, the manager devalues their work, turning the company's personnel into a gray mass consisting of uninitiated, irresponsible performers.

If an employee is given the opportunity to resolve an issue on his own, he will feel more confident, treat his organization “like a businessman” and show responsibility in any work situations that require a correct and quick decision.

The term “responsible person” has become very popular nowadays. It can even be seen in job advertisements as a mandatory requirement for a candidate. As a personality trait, the word “responsibility” cannot be found even in large explanatory dictionaries. However, many people have their own opinions regarding its meaning. Characteristics of a responsible person are a very subjective concept. Let's figure out what responsibility is.

Responsibility is the ability and desire of an individual to invest his time, money or part of his freedom to achieve a certain goal. In some cases, the term may also include the ability to be punished for one's actions. In such situations, responsibility implies a certain fairness of the individual in how he treats himself. A person agrees that his actions deserve some blame, and is ready to take responsibility for them.

This term is quite ancient, it is found in many languages. Interestingly, in all cases it is associated with the ability to react or respond to something, and is also associated with a certain punishment. Initially, punishment was a completely tangible concept. For example, murder was punishable by some compensation for moral and material damage.

Today sense of responsibility is more associated with a person’s ability to keep his word, as well as make decisions in which the person acts not only in his own interests. The concept of responsibility is much broader than the term “obligation”. However, the second is an integral part of the first.

Responsibility occurs only when there is a relationship between two or more people. That is, such a thing as responsibility does not exist outside of society. Then, when it comes to the fact that a person responsibly does something specifically for himself, it still means a personal quality formed in society. There is a clear direct relationship between the closeness of a person's connection with other people and the likelihood that a person will be responsible. For this quality to develop, you need experience in responsible relationships and developed reflection of activity. Therefore, this property can only be found in a truly functioning person.

Responsibility, like self-criticism, an essential quality that should be present in any leader. However, in our time, an incorrect attitude towards the concept of a leader has been formed. Everywhere and everywhere the idea is being promoted that every person should strive to be in front or at the head of some group of people. Unfortunately, such propaganda is a trap for responsible people who lack the skills and inclinations of management. Because of this, they have to suffer and lose their health, doing something that, in fact, is not their path. This is especially true for young men who develop a number of illnesses at an early age and experience serious stress at work.

Thus, responsibility is a social concept and is reinforced by action. At the same time, the level of responsibility should be formed by each individual specifically for himself, taking into account his capabilities.

How to become a responsible person

Responsibility is a skill that can be acquired with some effort. To understand how to become more responsible, it is necessary to consider the existing levels of assessment of this quality. Ask someone you know to analyze you according to the criteria below. Often, after such an assessment, many questions arise, the answers to which will be useful. Since becoming responsible right away is not easy, an outside independent perspective will be very valuable, as discussed below.

Levels of Personal Responsibility

Zero responsibility implies that you play the role of a dependent. You completely remove yourself from any responsibility because you believe that someone else's care for you is a self-evident responsibility. Such a person does not think about how to become more responsible, because he is comfortable in his current position.
The first level puts you in the position of a performer. Such a person practices the principle “work is not a wolf.” Usually such people do not do anything until they are told to do something. If the performer is not pushed to take some action, then he will remain at the starting point.
The second level of responsibility implies that a person takes the position of a specialist. Such people do their work efficiently, but do not put their soul into it. They view their occupation as a way to earn money and nothing more. You should not expect any initiative from such a person. Such people are not interested in helping or suggesting anything. You need to understand that a specialist can leave you at any time if he finds a more profitable occupation. Such people quite often use the phrase “I don’t get paid for this,” thereby limiting themselves from doing things that are not included in the list of their powers.
The third level is occupied by the responsible employee. Even if such a person currently performs his functions insufficiently well, he strives to develop and acquire the necessary skills. Therefore, in the future, the responsible employee will certainly become a professional in his field. The results of his work are important to him, he is quite proactive and open to sharing experiences. Such a person treats his occupation with interest. He views his employer's business as his own. Every employee who works shoulder to shoulder with him is perceived by him as a member of the family. A responsible employee never says, “I don’t get paid for this.” When he is entrusted with some task, he completes it, and then talks to his superiors about paying both him and his colleagues for this work.
The fourth level of responsibility is occupied by the local manager. Such a person is a manager who organizes the work of subordinates to achieve set goals. This person takes responsibility for himself and for others. He is not afraid to give orders and make serious decisions, on the correctness of which the fate of many depends. The local manager likes work less because he has to delegate it to his wards, who do it worse than he does. However, it is more correct to entrust it to employees rather than to do it yourself. The local manager organizes the work process in the area entrusted to him.
The fifth level is for the director, who supervises lower-level supervisors. This person is responsible for the business as a whole, while placing tactical decisions in the hands of his wards. It remains for him to formulate a strategy. A person of this level is able to open new directions or close existing ones. He is a professional who makes serious decisions. However, his level of responsibility is limited solely by the salary he receives and the prestigious position.
The sixth level of responsibility is unique to the business owner. It is this person who organizes a business in which he invests his money, time and soul. He is able to be responsible for the results of his actions not only with finances, but also with his life. The owner views his own business as his child, whom he has been raising for many years. He selects a director who can effectively manage his business, but at any time he can replace him with another. Interestingly, the owner of a large company rarely appears in public. He is a kind of neck of the general director, which directs the latter in the right direction. A business owner does not ask himself the question: “How to become a responsible person?” He is responsible by definition, since the well-being of an entire staff of employees and his own financial condition depend on him.

The above levels should not be considered positions. They represent levels of personality development. For example, a person holding the position of director of a large enterprise, from the personal and psychological side, can be an ordinary specialist or performer. At the same time, his secretary, psychologically, may well turn out to be the owner. There are often men who show themselves to be effective leaders at work, but at home turn into dependents or performers. There are often cases when women housewives take full responsibility upon themselves, choosing for themselves the role of family owner. At the same time, they raise their husband as the head of the family.

Cultivating a sense of responsibility means teaching yourself to see your obligations, as well as being able to fulfill them and pay for the consequences. Moreover, the fee can be expressed in time or money. You must be able to pay for your own mistakes even when you have no desire to do so.

Since developing responsibility right away can be difficult, you can perform the following tasks to acquire this quality:

First of all, you need to make responsibility one of your values. You need to realize that this quality is a very important social skill that gives you a chance to significantly improve your life. Development of responsibility personality is a process that requires only your desire. You should have a desire to cultivate this quality in yourself. Take responsibility for your family life. Then you will be able to realize, for example, that the author of any resentment that arises in a relationship is only you.
You can practice developing personal responsibility by asking yourself questions about what you can do now and what opportunities you have. It is very useful to replace demands like “I want” with questions about what needs to be done in order to get what I want.
You can develop responsibility by asking yourself more often: “What should I do to be fully responsible for my actions?”
Since developing a sense of responsibility alone is not always easy, you can choose a mentor(partner) who will reward and penalize you as necessary. It is better to select a person who can adequately assess your development and monitor your life activities. A partner will motivate you to follow a certain work discipline, without postponing any tasks for later.
It will not be superfluous to send reports on your development to your partner remotely at a certain frequency. It is enough to do this 2 times a week. You can come up with fines for failure to meet deadlines and methods of rewarding for a responsible approach to this issue. By doing this for twenty-one days, you will be able to develop a healthy habit to some extent.

Now you know what it means to be a responsible person. With effort, you will soon notice certain changes in your life. Developing personal responsibility according to the above scenario will allow you to see good results in the near future.

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In such cases, parents have high hopes for the future of their child, his success, his abilities and talents. They often cherish the idea that their descendant will make their own unfulfilled dreams come true.

The teenager feels that a lot is expected of him.

In another case, conditions for increased moral responsibility are created when a young teenager is entrusted with non-childish concerns about caring for younger or sick and helpless family members [Sukhur'eva G. E., 1959].

Almost all adolescents show greater resistance to increased parental expectations or difficult responsibilities assigned to them. Failure and mistakes in these cases do not have a crushing effect on them. A teenager of an unstable type will treat his parents' show-offs or the tasks assigned to him with complete disdain. Against the background of hyperthymic or epileptoid inclinations, this situation can strengthen leadership traits or the desire to rule. For a labile teenager, excessive responsibility will be extremely burdensome, and he will try in every possible way to avoid it. A teenager with a hysterical accentuation, at best, having played the role of a caring guardian for a short time and making sure that there are no spectators admiring his zeal, will abandon or hate the object of his care.

But for psychasthenic and, possibly, sensitive accentuation, excessively high demands on a sense of responsibility are a blow to the place of least resistance, leading to protracted obsessive-phobic neurosis or psychopathic development of the psychasthenic type.

What is considered an IPO?

Clause 1 of Art. 1079 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation contains a list of IPO: the use of vehicles, mechanisms, high-voltage electrical energy, explosives, etc., construction and other related activities, etc. It should be noted that this list is not exhaustive. This means that the court, taking into account the special properties of objects, substances or other objects used in the process of activity, also has the right to recognize other activities not specified in the list as IPO.

The court has the right to recognize an activity as a source of increased danger, taking into account the special properties of objects, substances or other objects used in the process of said activity.

According to the Supreme Court, damage is considered caused by a source of increased danger if it is the result of the action of this source or the manifestation of its harmful properties (for example, an injury received due to an accident). However, if the harm is caused by an IPO, but is not a manifestation or consequence of its harmful properties, then the harm is compensated on a general basis (for example, a passenger, opening the door of a stationary car, causes bodily harm to a passing citizen).

Liability for damage caused by IPO

Let's look at examples of court decisions. Resolution of the Ninth Arbitration Court of Appeal dated September 16, 2013 No. 09AP-27306/2013-GK in case No. A40-140375/12: in deciding to refuse the appeal, the court was guided by the fact that the pipeline on which the subcontractor carried out hot work was not in operation , was disabled and cut, so the harm was not caused by the IPO, since it was not the result of its action or the manifestation of its harmful properties.

The general contractor entered into an agreement with the subcontractor, under the terms of which the latter undertook to perform a range of works on pipeline installation. During work in the pipeline, a burst of gas occurred, as a result of which a shock wave that spread through the pipe caused harm to the health of the concrete worker. Based on this fact, a report on an industrial accident was drawn up.

In a claim for compensation for personal injury and compensation for moral damage, funds were recovered from the subcontractor for whom the concrete worker worked. The court indicated that the general contractor is not responsible for harm caused to the life and health of the named employee.

The subcontractor was unable to prove that the damage was caused by the pipeline (pipeline), that is, it was the result of its action or the manifestation of its harmful properties. The subcontractor’s reference to the fact that the construction site was not transferred to him by the contractor according to the act was rejected by the appellate court, since the work that led to the accident was carried out within the framework of contractual relations, under the terms of which responsibility for the safe performance of work rests with the subcontractor, and he did not ensure proper technical supervision and control over the safety of work.

Also indicative is the appeal ruling of the Kaliningrad Regional Court dated July 23, 2014 in case No. 33-3201/2014. The car was damaged after hitting a cow that came out onto the roadway in the dark. The owner of the car filed a lawsuit against the organization that owned the cow. The court of first instance found the owner of the cow guilty of failure to provide proper supervision of animals, due to which one of the cows crossed the road unattended in the dark, becoming an IPO.

The Court of Appeal overturned this decision, not recognizing the animal as an IPO. The court took into account that the harm caused by the cow was not the result of the action or manifestation of its harmful properties. If a cow damaged a car by attacking it and butting it with its horns, then the court would be on the side of the car owner. However, in the situation with an accident, the court indicated that a cow (a domestic animal, that is, an animal used by a person in his activities) located on a highway cannot be recognized as an IPO. There was no intention of the cow owner to cause harm. Therefore, the court considered that the actions of the organization that owned the cow were not guilty of causing material damage to the car owner. The court pointed to the direct fault of the driver in such an accident: he drove the car (IPO) at a speed that did not correspond to road and meteorological conditions, without due regard for visibility in the direction of travel (twilight, fog), the nature of the terrain, the possibility of animals appearing in this area roads and features of their behavior.

Who is the owner of the IPO?

The obligation to compensate for damage caused by IP is assigned to the owner of this source (clause 1 of Article 1079 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation).

Under owner of a source of increased danger should be understood or a citizen who use IPO by virtue of their ownership right, the right of economic management, operational management or on other legal grounds (for example, under a lease, rental agreement, by virtue of a power of attorney for the right to drive a vehicle, by virtue of an order from the relevant authority to transfer the IPO to it).

When determining the owner of an IPO, a number of questions also arise.

Who is the owner of the IPO if the rental period for the car has expired, but the lessee driver is the culprit of the accident?

Expiration of the contract does not entail termination of the obligations of the parties under the agreement. If the car is not handed over to the lessor upon expiration of the lease term in accordance with the agreement, then the lessee is recognized as the owner of the vehicle at the time of the accident. In addition, if the lease agreement contains conditions for its automatic renewal, it will be considered renewed if these conditions are met.

Let's consider the Resolution of the Arbitration Court of the North-Western District dated October 6, 2014 in case No. A56-78428/2013. The rental car collided with a truck. The tenant driving the car was found to be at fault for the accident. According to the agreement, the rental period for the car had expired at the time of the accident. Therefore, the owner recovered compensation for damage to the truck through the court from the lessor as the owner of the vehicle. The courts of first and appellate instances recognized the claims as justified and subject to satisfaction.

However, if the owner will be found guilty of illegally removing this source from his possession, then liability can be assigned to both the owner and the person who unlawfully took possession of the IPO.

Let's consider the appeal ruling of the Kemerovo Regional Court dated November 13, 2014 in case No. 33-10775. A minor committed an accident while driving a car. The court ordered the sister, as the owner of the IPO, to compensate for the damage caused to the car of the second participant in the accident. In the appeal, the sister denied her guilt, pointing out that the brother stole the keys to the vehicle while she was sleeping, that is, he took possession of the vehicle without the consent of the owner. The court rejected the complaint, concluding that there was guilt in the actions of the owner of the IPO. While at the place of residence of her minor brother, she did not ensure the safety of the IPO belonging to her, since she allowed free access to the keys to the car and to the car itself by a person who did not have the right to drive it. The fact that she did not expect her brother to use her car at his discretion did not eliminate her responsibility. The panel of judges found the degree of guilt of the owner of the car to be 70%, and the degree of guilt of the harm-doer to be 30%.

A similar decision is in the Appeal Ruling of the Chelyabinsk Regional Court dated August 26, 2014 in case No. 11-8017/2014. The man was drinking vodka with a casual acquaintance, leaving the keys in the ignition. The drinking buddy took advantage of the opportunity and stole a car, which he subsequently used in an accident. The panel of judges recognized the degree of guilt of the owner of the car and the culprit of the accident in equal shares.

When a person files a claim for recovery of damage caused by an IPO, the plaintiff must prove: the fact of the occurrence of harm, the causal connection between the actions of the defendant and the occurrence of harm and the amount of harm. A claim for damages can be satisfied only if the totality of all elements of liability is established. When determining the amount of compensation, the court takes into account the degree of guilt of both the harm-doer and the victim.

Paragraph. 1 tbsp. 1079 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation.

Clause 18 of the Resolution of the Plenum of the RF Armed Forces dated January 26, 2010 No. 1 “On the application by courts of civil legislation regulating relations under obligations resulting from harm to the life or health of a citizen” (hereinafter referred to as Resolution of the RF Armed Forces No. 1).

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