Making your beloved children happy is much easier than making adults. A child's sense of joy in life does not depend on material or other external conditions. In order for a child to grow up with a sense of inner harmony, you need to adhere to 7 simple rules.
First of all, it is worth remembering that happy children are, first of all,... And now, 7 tips from psychologists on how to make children the happiest!
Spend more time with your beloved children
How to make a child happy? Spend more time with him. Even if you are busy, give your son or daughter some attention. Read bedtime stories to your beloved children, play Interesting games. These simple activities will make your children much happier.
Emphasize the importance of your kids
A child has an innate need to be needed. Let your beloved children feel that they are making a small but unique contribution to the family from the very beginning. early age. This will not only make them a little happier, but also increase their self-esteem.
As early as three years old, children can carry out simple tasks - lay out napkins at the dinner table or pour food into the cat's bowl. Try to give instructions that have a beneficial effect on the development of children.
Don't scold your beloved children
Never scold children, focus on actions, not on character traits or abilities. If the children are still too young and do not understand why certain actions cannot be performed, say briefly and clearly that they cannot do this!
Never reprimand your children in front of everyone. All you have to do is talk to the little troublemakers in private.
Encourage your children's hobbies
When children are engrossed in a game, they don't remember anything else. All parents need to do is give them the opportunity to immerse themselves in favorite hobby. The older a child gets, the more restrictions in his life that prevent him from giving in to his passion - a regime, unloved activities imposed by adults.
Don't forget also that your ambitions and your children's passion are not the same thing. You shouldn’t send your child to hockey just because it’s fashionable. Try to give your beloved children the opportunity to be themselves.
Tell your beloved children the truth
Do you teach your children to be honest? If you deceive them, they will follow your example. Remember that sooner or later the secret becomes clear. If you tell the truth, a trusting relationship will be established between you and the children, which is still needed for a child’s happiness!
Teach your beloved children to care for others
True happiness lies in the ability to give and give. Your children will feel happy caring for others without asking for anything in return. Buy a pet or place a houseplant on the windowsill in your children's room. This will help make your beloved children responsible.
Tell your children about your love every day
Happy children should feel important and welcome in your life. You just need to talk about it sincerely when you are really in a good mood. It is very important to hug your child; psychologists recommend doing this at least 8 times a day.
Children literally need the affectionate and encouraging touch of their parents - support, closeness and attention allow the child to feel loved, significant and needed.
Photo in text: Depositphotos.com
Do you want to make your child happy?
Rent him a house at the age of 17, find a job with friends for 3-4 hours a day and visit him once a week. And threaten that if they fail at school/university, their happiness will end and the child will move to your home, where your rules will be. And by the age of 20, say that you have run out of money for your house, you are already old and want to retire. And don't pay at all. By the age of 26, your child will call you and ask - listen, dad, you don’t need money, can he help with anything?
Of course, work needs to be done before this. Until the age of 5-7, a child should not have much freedom. You are the father, you are in charge, as you said, so it will be. And then you introduce choices and responsibilities in parallel. If you want to choose what clothes to wear, wash your favorite jacket. If you want to eat dumplings, here’s the dough, so I mixed the minced meat, mold it and cook it. If you want to walk until nightfall, all your homework must be done, all that is assigned. And keep your word, shut up your wife too, it’s not a woman’s job to raise children, a woman should love a child, any child, but you should raise them. If he gets offended, let him complain to mom, but if you hear mom say that dad is evil, take him outside and write it to her, but so that the child doesn’t see. Mom and Dad always love each other and will always come to an agreement, no matter what the means are.
There is no money for toys - this is not at all what you can say to a child. The child will think that his parents are poor and losers. A toy is not allowed because the child no longer needs toys. The ones we have are enough. When you decide what he needs new toy- then you’ll buy it. If the child really wants it, let him do something to make it easier for you to earn money for a toy. It will take about a week to wash the dishes, say. The floor will be washed. The shelf will be attached while you work.
The absence of media junk is useful if the child is under 10. If this is the norm in your family. And if you yourself sit by the box for days and stick into the anima, and the child is nini, then you will be a simple balabol for the child.
Sections? Wonderful. Take it, show it, let it look like it, if you don’t like it, screw it. Doesn't want to try - forty push-ups; my father said that he should try it, let him try it, if he doesn’t like it, something else. Do you like sitting in the yard? Sit, just do your homework, and then go wherever you want. With the holes under the fence, I must say, it’s generally not interesting, except for the same holes, and if your child knows how to light a fire, solder a robot, and in five minutes draw a photorealistic image from the nearest movie on the asphalt, then he will have nothing to do on the benches. If you want to interest someone, show by example that you yourself are not inept, but that you know something about art. If he wants to tell you, listen carefully. If you see garbage, say so: here you are great, but here your hands are helpless, you need to work and it will be good. Sooner or later, the child will find something that he really enjoys; when he finds it, be happy, support, criticize, be interested.
Once you empty your pockets and find cigarettes, you will forever break your child’s trust in adults in general, and all your teachings will be perceived as complete nonsense.
Did you come drunk? He sleeps under the door. All. No exceptions. Mother, we remember, don't listen. You came later than one in the morning without warning - you sleep under the door. Never mind, solve your problems yourself, it’s not difficult to call, it’s not difficult not to drink either. One night under the door - and your child will swear off trying any unfamiliar substances without 100% foreseeing the possible consequences.
Pocket money is sacred. Let him at least bury it in the ground. His money. No control. I gave it and forgot. Set a weekly (not daily), or even better, monthly limit. And let him get out of it. By the 8th grade, let this limit include school necessities, such as textbooks. Then - food in the canteen, then - clothes. By college, your child will already be able to manage his or her finances in full - from food to long-term purchases such as a computer, or even a car. If you want more, tell me where to earn money. And take an interest in this question in advance, where a loafer schoolboy can earn money, quickly and not particularly hard. Go to the nearest car washes and ask if they need a boy to help you for small change. Walk around your local service stations and ask if they need a sweeper and hold. At the hairdresser, ask if your child can sweep with it on a regular basis. Yes, when everyone is playing and you’re working, it’s a shame, but in an hour you’ll finish working and buy whatever you want with your own money. This is great, this is such a thrill that he won’t waste it on booze, he’ll regret it, he’d rather save up for a skateboard and be the most alpha alpha, because he earned it himself, and didn’t give it to his dad.
And the most important thing is to be at the same time with him. You can at least scold him, even call him names, if there is something for it, while you two are together. But in front of strangers, he has his own honor, and you have your own honor. And if your drunken corefan is so careless to your child - listen, little one, go get a beer quickly, then the only correct answer to such a corefan is to tell the child: you are not small, you are my son, he asked impolitely, if you don’t want it, don’t go, I don’t have any beer necessary. So that the child knows that you can and should stand up for your honor, and not stand with your tongue stuck in your ass. That he is not obliged to do favors for anyone if he does not feel such a desire, except if he is in debt to someone.
Do you want to show your child your love? Take it fishing. Go hiking with him. Learn how to glue wallpaper. Help me fix his fucking moped. Pull out your kayak and go swimming. Tell me how to properly get rid of booze. Teach me how to wash socks. Teach him to run and do push-ups. Teach him Pearl and Linux. Teach him photoshop and science fiction. Teach him to play the guitar and hit the drums. Go to a concert with him. Tell us why some groups work and others don’t. Listen to his music, say that it’s super, but you’re more into your metal and give him money for headphones so that he doesn’t ruin the music sphere in the house. Tell him what to do with a girl on the first date, on the second and on the third. Tell me how to buy condoms. Tell us why they are needed at all and how to use them. Go with your child to buy flowers, explain what flowers you choose for your wife, why, and why you buy them. Give him a knife and teach him how to sharpen and carve wood. Go to karate with him and learn how to punch someone in the face with him. Teach him to call him names so that his friends will dry out for hours when he opens his mouth for the purpose of precision bombing. Teach him how not to be afraid of elders. Teach him why other people need to be listened to, but not necessarily obeyed, and why he has a head on his shoulders in general.
Yes, just close your eyes and imagine for a second that you have the best dad in the world, and act according to how he should act.
Tell your child:
1. I love you
2. I love you no matter what
3. I love you even when you're mad at me.
4. I love you even when I'm mad at you
5. I love you even when you are far from me. My love is always with you
6. If I could choose any child on Earth, I would still choose you.
7. I love you to the moon, around the stars and back
8. Thank you
9. I liked playing with you today
10. My favorite memory of the day you and I ______ (what you did together)
Tell us:
11. The story of their birth or adoption
12. About how affectionate you were with them when they were little
13. The story of how you chose their names
14 About yourself at their age
15. About how their grandparents met
16. What are your favorite colors?
17. That sometimes it’s difficult for you too
18. That when you hold their hand and squeeze it 3 times, it's a secret code that means - I love you
19. What is your plan?
20. What are you doing now?
Listen:
21. Your child in the car
22. What does your child say about his toys, and think about how important this is for him
23. An issue your child really needs your help with.
24. One second longer than your patience allows
25. The feelings behind your child's words
Ask:
26. Why do you think this happened?
27. What do you think will happen if _____?
28. How do we find out?
29. What are you thinking about?
30. What is your most pleasant memory of the day?
31. What do you think it tastes like?
Show:
32. How to do something instead of prohibiting it from being done
33. How to whistle into blades of grass
34. How to shuffle cards, make a fan (house)
35. How to cut food
36. How to fold laundry
37. How to look for information when you don't know the answer
38. Attachment to your spouse
38. That self-care (self-care) is very important.
Make time:
39. To observe construction sites
40. To watch birds
41. Have your child help you cook
42. Go to some places together
43. Digging in the dirt together
44. To complete tasks at your child's pace
45. Just to sit with your child while he plays.
Make your child happy:
46. Surprise and clean his room
47. Put chocolate in pancakes
48. Post a meal or snack in the shape of a smiley face.
49. Make some sound effects when you help them do something.
50. Play with them on the floor
Let go:
51. Guilt
52. Your thoughts on how it should have been
53. Your need to be right
Give:
54. Look at your child with kind eyes
55. Smile when your child comes into the room.
56. Reciprocate when your child touches you.
57. Establish rapport before you say (correct) anything so your child can actually hear you.
58. Give your child the opportunity to cope with his dissatisfaction (anger, rage) before helping him
59. Take a bath at the end of a long day.
60. Choose your favorite way to be kind to your child.
With sai
In order to make your child happy, you need to learn to perceive him as he is. You can’t expect a one-year-old child to be able to speak English when the baby doesn’t yet pronounce all Russian sounds. He needs your help and support. Communicate more with your child, tell fairy tales, read poems, fables, sing children's songs to him. This will bring you closer and give the child the most important thing - your attention and affection, and therefore happiness.
It is important to learn how to stop the child’s whims. Otherwise, you will work to buy another toy, thereby buying your child's love and obedience. Remember that a child’s needs only increase with age, as do the prices for toys.
As the child gets older, we need to help him become an adult. Growing up, a child may feel lost. Explain to your baby patiently what he cannot understand, but really wants. After all, at about three years old, kids become so curious, it is important to develop this curiosity in them, it is so interesting to explore this world with their mother.
Don't isolate your baby from life. Allow them to stomp through puddles and walk barefoot on the grass on a warm day in summer. This is how your baby will explore the world around him. Teach him to navigate in space, communicate with adults, and play with peers.
If you just want to have a child, we advise you Don’t do it solely “for yourself”, because for yourself - that means for no one. Keep in mind that your obedient boy may soon turn into a mama's boy who will run to his mother for advice on any matter. Such children cannot make their own decisions. They have difficulties creating their own family. Some of these children are doomed to be lonely.
Some parents, while raising their child, make another grave mistake - they try to make their unfulfilled dreams come true with his help. This is why many children go to study at the university their parents chose for them, despite their inclinations. There is no need to deprive your children of their future, leave the right of choice to them.
It turns out your a child learns many bad habits from childhood. The most common of them is unhealthy diet. Most parents face this problem. Some of them trust kindergartens and schools to shape their child’s taste. Others feed their child chips, cookies, crackers, the additives in which are often addictive, which can lead to obesity and other unpleasant consequences. To make your child a little happier, do not introduce him to such food and do not set a bad example yourself.
An important point in education is schedule. It helps the baby sense time. The whole family needs to create a daily routine and stick to it. You don’t want your child, as an adult, to stay up late watching TV or the computer, be late in the morning, constantly lack sleep and get irritated over little things. The lack of opportunity to get a good night's sleep can seriously spoil the microclimate in the family, remember this.
Sometimes, parents are forced to entrust their child to strangers: governesses, nannies. Frequently communicate with strangers small child creates fears. After all a stranger cannot give him the love of his mother and father. Remember this the next time you stay late at work or in the company of friends.
The child senses when something is wrong in the family when parents are in a quarrel. He becomes more restless and depressed. Your child loves both of you. It is difficult for him to determine who he loves more, do not force him to solve this difficult problem. Research has shown that in a child who grew up in an atmosphere of quarrels and hostility, there are germs of future misfortune and destruction. The best thing you can do for the happiness and peace of mind of your child is to try to create harmonious relationships in the family. In this case, you will grow up to be a confident person.
In general, psychologists and neurologists distinguish three periods of a child’s life.
The first is the very first year of life. A person is helpless at this time; he needs security and support. It is important to be with him always and everywhere, to hold him in your arms, to talk. Too much here is just as bad as not having enough. If you are a mother on maternity leave, try to do household chores together with your child. After all, no one will do them for you, and the child will be busy.
The second period is from 1 year to 3 years. At this time, the child learns about the world; this is a period of exploration. Do not take away toys from the child at this time, do not hit his hands, except in cases when this is dictated by safety. The more your child learns, the easier it will be for him to understand his own life. Here you also need to find a middle ground.
After 3 years the most difficult and interesting part begins. Until the age of 6-7 years, your baby begins to self-position in the world, in other words, the process of self-awareness. Watch him carefully and sensitively. Here educational games, markers, albums, balls, and mugs will help you and your baby. The only condition is that he should be interested in all this. Don’t be afraid to experiment; in order for a child to feel happy, of course, it is important to help him find himself and his place in this life.
When trying to make your children happy, remember that the child is happy when the mother is happy.