Family relationships- this, unfortunately, is not only mutual understanding and love. These are also quarrels, scandals, insults, disappointments. In general, anything can happen. So what should we do? How to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect? Advice from psychologists will help you understand this situation. After all, under no circumstances should we let such a situation take its course.
It is, of course, unpleasant for every woman to hear insults addressed to her. Naturally, there is a desire to insult in return or completely stop communicating with this person forever. The situation is completely different when humiliation and insults come from one’s own spouse. Firstly, his words hurt much more painfully. After all, he knows perfectly well how and where to “hit” you with a word in order to hurt and hook you more precisely. Secondly, leaving and not returning is much more difficult. You are still connected by marriage, children, friends and relatives, common living space, financial dependence. Thinking about what to do in this situation, a woman, as a rule, begins to rush from side to side. But he can’t decide on a certain rational action. This can go on for years. But this is simply unbearable. You need to figure out how to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect. The advice of psychologists in this case will be very helpful. First of all, you need to decide not “what to do,” but “what will happen if you do something, but incorrectly.”
What is the reason?
So, let's act! How to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect? The advice of psychologists may be different, but all experts unanimously say that it is necessary to identify the essence of what is happening, the reason for such behavior.
In most cases, women believe that the reason lies in themselves. Either they “didn’t have time” for something, or they “didn’t do it,” or they “didn’t please.” Either they are “bad mothers,” or “bad cooks,” or “unkind wives.” In fact, this is not the case at all. These are just reasons for the spouse to find fault and throw out his negativity. The real reason lies in the fact that the husband is sadistic in this couple on purpose. He takes pleasure in humiliating the weak. It is impossible to confuse a sadist with any other person. We are all human, of course. Everyone can sometimes swear and be rude. However, in the case of a sadist, everything is completely different. His insults are filled with horrific filth. The vocabulary contains expressions intended not just to call a person, but to offend, cause pain, and humiliate.
The main thing is to act!
As soon as you start thinking about how to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect, the advice of psychologists will become your best assistant. In principle, it is impossible to change such a spouse either with the help of persuasion, or with the help of conspiracies, or with the help of coding, or with the help of hypnosis, and certainly not servility to him will help. Accordingly, it makes no sense to expect that everything will work out and get better on its own. That is, it is necessary to take active action. It is not the husband who needs to be changed. It is necessary to seek protection for yourself and your children.
Fatal mistake
Not every woman thinks about how to teach her husband a lesson for disrespect. The fact is that the fairer sex is accustomed to adapting to various situations. To adversity in life as well. In addition, our women, due to the peculiarities of their mentality, are much more patient than elsewhere. It is not surprising that they are so simply and easily ready to accept humiliation and insults from a man, slowly getting used to them. And this, of course, is their fatal mistake.
By insulting and humiliating his wife, throwing nasty things at her, the husband deals a painful blow to her psyche. Even if she endures all this, it will not bring anything good. But the worst thing is that each time these attacks “take an upward course.” If initially this was the only rude word, then over time there will be a dozen of them. And then blows may follow. As a result, a woman cannot realize herself in life, hobbies, work, or feel joy and love. She can only expect further attacks every day.
A blow to children
But our children suffer the most from such violence. Unfortunately, among many women there is an opinion that for a child the presence of absolutely any father is very important - even a tyrant and despot, even a name-caller and humiliator, even an alcoholic, as long as there is one. Women console themselves with the fact that he is still their own father. They are even more confident of this if men do not touch children. They endure everything for the sake of marriage and financial assistance.
Naturally, this is a huge misconception. For a child, the mother is always the person who provides him with protection. If they yell at her and cause pain, it means that the baby loses his sense of security. Accordingly, he gets stressed. And this is fraught negative consequences. Some children begin to steal and lie, others begin to fear death, and still others begin to torture animals.
People rarely connect problems with a child on the one hand and humiliation from a husband on the other. And in vain. The connection is the most direct. Therefore, a woman who wants to maintain peace in her family must definitely figure out how to teach her husband a lesson about disrespect. There are a lot of tips. The main thing is to choose exactly what you need. Stop at the best option.
Most negative outcome
The most dire consequences can be expected if your children have a sound vector. The ears of such children are hypersensitive. That is, they generally require quiet sounds and calmness. If the father yells at the mother, and even throws humiliating words, such a child not only loses the sense of security like other children - he also receives a powerful blow to the most sensitive area. Hearing terrible screams, he may gradually lose contact with the outside world and withdraw into himself. This sometimes even leads to autism or schizophrenia.
In general, a woman, especially if she is a mother, needs to take care of her family. Take the necessary actions that could help in the current situation. In a word, do everything to ensure that the husband respects and appreciates his wife.
Excessive attention
So, the next stage. You figured out the reasons and made conclusions. Now you need to decide how to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect. Psychology offers several methods. The main thing is to correctly define the task. If you still love your husband, you should not make him suffer. This task is so that he can realize his guilt, understand what mistake he made and what pain he caused.
Start giving him undue attention. Most likely, this will not be easy at all. However, it's still worth a try. Give compliments, pleasant surprises, arrange romantic dinners. For what? Looking at your efforts, your spouse will be able to understand that he really was wrong, that you are the best, and that no one will ever take care of him the way you do. Having realized all this, he will begin to suffer from remorse and repent in the depths of his soul. And self-flagellation, as you know, is the best punishment. If your spouse only slightly offended you, do exactly that.
Inattention
Next method. How to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect? An effective method, the opposite of the one described above, is inattention on your part. If your husband doesn’t see how you try to please him and forgets about important dates, naturally, this is very offensive. However, do not shout or swear. Just keep quiet. He will definitely remember everything he forgot about.
Let's say your husband promised to be back for dinner. Without warning, he goes with friends to a cafe or bar. Do the same to him in revenge. Let him feel like he is in your place.
Has your spouse stopped thanking you for the food you prepared? Think fried potatoes are ordinary? Stop cooking for him altogether. Leave several times without breakfast, lunch or dinner.
Constantly talking about how you are doing nothing while sitting at home? Why endure slander? Sit at the computer or sit in front of the TV. Don't actually do anything. Let him know what it's like.
Do you want to teach your husband a lesson because he claims that you are “resting” on maternity leave? Leave it with your baby all day. Well, have a shopping day with your friends or visit a spa. It is unlikely that after this he will be able to say that caring for a child is simple and easy.
In case of betrayal
This is probably how one of the most terrible troubles manifests itself, when a husband does not respect his wife. What to do in this case? Someone cannot forgive their spouse and simply breaks up with him. But many loving women who cannot imagine their lives without insidious traitors are not ready to take this step.
The easiest way is to declare a boycott. Stop washing and ironing his things, cooking, and helping with something. In general, ignore your husband completely. Communicate with him only in case of emergency. Just remember that this method is quite risky. With this attitude, the spouse can simply leave for another woman. However, think: do you really need such a husband?
One of the most difficult ways to punish a faithful person is indifference. Pretend that his betrayal is completely indifferent to you. Surely he expects scandals, screams, and hysterics from you. And you will act as if nothing happened. Make fun of him from time to time about the fact of his betrayal. In this case, he will definitely begin to be tormented by remorse. He will ask you for forgiveness and try to justify himself. Any man will be shocked by such a reaction. Thoughts will appear in your head that you have stopped loving him, that you need to somehow atone for your guilt. According to many psychologists, this will serve as an excellent lesson for the future for your spouse.
In case of drunkenness
Another one a big problem. Why does the husband not respect his wife, driving her to nervous breakdowns with his daily drinking and partying? Perhaps he cannot cope with this addiction? Or maybe he doesn’t even try, doing it out of pure selfishness or, even worse, out of spite for his wife?
What to do? To begin with, take into account absolutely all the consequences that his drunkenness affects. If this happens regularly and ruins your plans, he definitely needs to be taught a good lesson.
It is best to present your husband in the most unflattering way possible. Show him how stupid he looks when he's drunk. Give free rein to your imagination by choosing your punishment. You can cover his fingernails with a bright polish and hide the nail polish remover away. Give it only when he asks you for forgiveness. You can draw a mustache with a waterproof marker or write an obscene word on your forehead. You can paint your lips. Or you can even cut the clothes he came in so that in the morning you can ask where he was wearing it.
Results
Let's summarize. How to teach a husband to respect his wife? Just love yourself. And respect yourself. Don't let your spouse be rude to you, offend you, cheat on you, or beat you. But if this happens, be sure to teach it a lesson first. Perhaps this was the first and only time... And do not forget to talk frankly with your husband after that. Try to find out what motivated him in a given situation. Who knows, maybe this will make you look at the situation with different eyes?
How sometimes you want to hear the cherished “sorry”! © Shutterstock
Did your loved one hurt you? Are you upset and what you want most is his apology? But tears won’t help my grief! Although sometimes tears can make a man apologize. But whether these apologies will be said sincerely or only out of pity is unknown. Take three steps to receive a sincere apology.
Step One: Calm Down
Do not demand an apology from your loved one while your pain and irritation have not yet subsided. After all, a request to apologize can easily turn into a real scandal.
So calm down, analyze the situation, find out for yourself what exactly hurt you. Write down your conclusions, and then, if you really want to, cry from your heart.
Step Two: Explain Why You're Hurt
In fact, for a girl who longs to hear an apology from her beloved, the apology itself is not that important. It is important for her that her loved one understands that he caused pain.
Isn’t it true that it’s important for you to hear from your loved one that he didn’t offend you on purpose, that he still loves you? Surely you will hear the desired words if you explain what is the matter. After all, it happens that a guy doesn’t even know why you’re offended by him.
Step three: don't put pressure on the man
Choose the right moment to talk. Make sure your loved one is not busy, calm, fed and not tired. And start a friendly conversation. Do not blame your loved one, do not criticize him or use irony. Just remember: he loves you and didn't hurt you on purpose. Started from this position, the conversation is likely to be successful.
You shouldn’t demand that your loved one fall prostrate on his knees and beg your forgiveness for unwashed dishes. Think about it: being humiliated over small things is hard for any person. Be patient, the guy is unlikely to immediately rush to apologize. Most likely, you will hear the cherished words a little later.
Even a short “I won’t do it again”, “I’m sorry”, “I won’t do this next time” is also an apology. These words mean that the guy understood your feelings and realized that he was wrong. Therefore, be sure to thank him for his sincerity and for his apology.
And most importantly: take a closer look at the actions of your loved one. Perhaps his actions are his apologies. Yes, he didn’t squeeze out the cherished “sorry,” but he did a lot of nice things for you. For example, he gave a gift, washed the floor in the apartment, cooked dinner, or just hugged and kissed. All of these actions can be considered an apology.
Dear ones, as you know, scold - they just amuse themselves. Quarrels in family life inevitable. The main thing is to stop and apologize to each other. The latter most often has to be done by women. Today we’ll talk about how to force your husband to apologize.
Quiet, peacefulAny quarrel leaves an unpleasant aftertaste on the soul, especially when no apologies were made. How to force your husband to ask for forgiveness - we act directly.
Men don't understand hints, that's a fact. Any conflict requires you to express what you feel, what worries you. The main thing is to sort things out not in a raised voice and without insults. You may bitterly regret the latter later. Try to control yourself and your emotions.
How to get your husband to apologize and make peace?
Don’t be silent and don’t make complaints about your husband to yourself. Be sincere and build a dialogue. Without hysterics and nerves. If something offended you and greatly upset you in your husband’s behavior and actions, then tell him about it. Let him know that you would like to hear an apology specifically for certain words and actions. Explain to him what specifically upset you. Just stay calm and reasonable. Why not just tell your loved one: “You offended me with your action. Apologize and don't do this again, please. You know how much I love you.”
Some men are ready to “do anything at once” when they see a woman’s tears. Sometimes you can resort to similar methods. However, you should not abuse this weakness and overplay. Constant hysterics and crying your eyes out will soon develop immunity in your spouse.
Blackmail and revenge are not the surest ways to solve a problem. Show your husband how to solve difficult situations by your own example and kind attitude towards him.
Very often, male pride takes precedence over common sense. A man is in no hurry to apologize even when he is actually to blame. It’s easier for him to remain silent and wait until the girl gets tired of sulking and she forgives him just like that.
Why don't men like to apologize?
Men often don't like to admit their mistakes. They persist for a long time, saying that they are not to blame for anything. And even if it was they who committed the offense, they are in no hurry to apologize. They are hampered by male pride, which sometimes turns into chauvinism towards the woman they love. A man feels superior and does not consider it necessary to ask for forgiveness from someone who, in his opinion, is lower in status than him. Very often, such representatives of the stronger sex are also intolerant of subordinates or work colleagues. It is quite difficult to get an apology from such a person. However, serious offenses cannot be left unpunished.
If a man has offended you, you should not isolate yourself and remain silent. Very often, representatives of the stronger sex simply do not understand that they have hurt. And the silence of the beloved is perceived as another whim. Express your complaints immediately, do not accumulate resentment
How to make a man apologize
With loving, caring guys, everything is simple. For him to apologize, it is enough to look sad, or even better, to cry. To console the girl he loves, a guy will do anything. And he will ask for forgiveness for his unseemly act, and give flowers, and carry them in his arms. But with a man in whom the spirit of chauvinism is strong, simple tears will not help. They will only anger him even more and convince him that he is actually stronger in both spirit and body. Therefore, in a relationship with such a man you need to act differently.
It is almost impossible to get an apology from some men. It’s easier for them to break off a relationship with a girl than to admit their mistakes
For a man to apologize, you need to calmly express everything you think about his action, describing your own emotions. If a man is sure that he is right, prove where he was wrong. It would be better if this is a clear example. So that he can see for himself that he actually committed a crime. After that, give him time to think. If you demand an apology right away, he will resist. And if you wait for some time until the man comprehends what was said, then, most likely, he will understand his mistake.
But even after, when he himself is convinced that he is wrong, one should not expect instant repentance. First the man will try to make someone else guilty. He will say that he was interrupted, misdirected, etc. But he turned out to be a victim of circumstances, so he made a mistake. It is very difficult to convince him otherwise, but it is possible. The same male chauvinism will help. It is necessary to convey to the partner that he, so powerful and ideal, could not be confused by those around him. This statement will help a man come to terms with his own wrongness and admit that even he makes mistakes sometimes. And after that he will ask for forgiveness. Although, of course, one should not expect tears of repentance from such a representative of the strong half of humanity.
Instructions
What to do if a man has committed an act that is wrong in your opinion, and is not going to apologize. First, sit down and calmly discuss everything. Perhaps your partner simply did not understand what he had done and how he had offended you. Tell him about your experiences, explain what specifically upset you. Loving man will definitely ask for forgiveness, even just so that the other half does not suffer.
If a man still doesn’t, it means he hasn’t realized his guilt. This is a more serious problem, and here you need not just to point out mistakes, but to clarify why your loved one does not consider his actions wrong and takes everything for granted. For example, he left to meet with friends without informing you about it. Perhaps in a previous relationship or in the partner’s family, complete freedom of action was accepted. And he transferred this algorithm to your pair. Your task is to convince your loved one that there is nothing restricting his freedom in telling you about his whereabouts. Tell him that you only need it so you don't have to worry about him. Most likely, the matter will not end with one conversation. Therefore, every time your loved one forgets to call you, gently remind him of your request. Over time, he will get used to the new relationship and will begin to enjoy it only. And he will certainly ask for forgiveness if he breaks his promise.
Not only the lack of acceptance of his guilt, but also the fear of punishment makes a man avoid apologizing. In his opinion, asking for forgiveness means you are guilty. If you are guilty, you will be punished. Convince your man that no one is going to get him. Tell him that the action he committed is already in the past and nothing can be changed. And you only need his apology in order to understand that he realizes the gravity of his offense and will try not to do this in the future.
Do not start a serious conversation immediately after you learn about your loved one’s misdeed. Wait for some time, at least an hour and a half. This break will give you the opportunity to calm down, decide how serious the problem is and how best to construct a dialogue.
Often, in order to direct the relationship process in the right direction, it is necessary to induce a feeling of guilt in the partner. A man who feels guilty towards a woman is the most controllable, and his attachment is stronger. There are certain techniques by which you can make a man guilty.
The weaker sex uses this technique quite often. A guilty man is attentive, gentle, pays more attention to the woman, tries to be good so as not to do something wrong again. Some psychological tricks will help make a man guilty.