It is customary to celebrate a wedding noisily and cheerfully, but a holiday in honor of divorce is the exception rather than the rule. It was all the more interesting for us to find such examples.

OPTION 1: WITH THE SAME SUCCESS

“My ex-husband and friends celebrated our divorce: a white car with ribbons, me in a red dress (the same one I got married in) with a bouquet of white and red flowers, he in a tuxedo. We went to traditional wedding places in Moscow, took photographs, drank champagne. Towards the end of the walk on Vorobyovy Gory they solemnly removed wedding rings and threw them into the Moscow River. They got into different cars with the sign “Just divorced!” and went in different directions to meet for a feast in his dad’s bachelor apartment. And then - congratulations: “Happy new life!”, flowers, gifts, shouts of “Sweet!”, at the end of the evening - fireworks. There were also tears. From happiness and gratitude that loved ones supported us that day in our decision. Now my ex-husband and I are best friends, we often chat on the phone for hours, laugh, complaints have almost disappeared from our conversations, we no longer consider ourselves obligated to each other. To the question of others: “Shouldn’t you get back together again?” I answer: “Why spoil such a wonderful relationship?” Svetlana, 27, Moscow

OPTION 2: GIRLISHY

“When I received the court decision, I literally danced. My sister turned the radio volume up to maximum and screamed: “You're back! Hurray!” (the ex-husband limited my communication with friends). In the evening, friends gathered near my house. At the entrance there is a surprise, the same car as at my wedding, only black. I'm wearing a black dress, black boots. I go out, my girls pounce on me with congratulations, camera flashes (I ordered a photographer), then we go for a ride around the city. Then - a restaurant. The hall is decorated with balloons and candles. And above the table there is a big one balloon with the inscription “Kostya” (ex-husband’s name). At the end of the holiday, I threw a dart and pierced this ball. My sister gave me a bouquet of yellow and blue flowers and a T-shirt with the inscription “Ivanova I” (my maiden name). The highlight of the evening was a cake in the form of a Lexus IS 250 (my husband wanted to sue me for it). On the roof is a figurine of a girl in a black dress, similar to me. The groom was lying in the jam under the wheels. The idea was appreciated! The holiday was a success!” Elena, 23, Irkutsk

OPTION 3: QUIET AND PEACEFUL

“We divorced my husband (foreigner) on my initiative. I fell in love with someone else and wanted to be with him. I came to court with my beloved man, and my husband with a translator. The judge looked at my husband, turned her gaze to me (at that moment I was six months pregnant with my beloved), listened to the explanation: “We are getting a divorce because of different views on life,” we also said that we had reached peaceful agreements on the residence of our common children and property issues. Verdict: “Equally guilty.” I issued a fine. That's all. After the trial, I, my beloved man, ex-husband and the translator went to a cafe and celebrated their divorce in a cozy atmosphere. We drank tea and cakes, talked, and remembered what we had experienced. A few years later, the ex-husband left with his second wife (he married a Russian again) and our two daughters to his homeland. But we are still family friends.” Lyudmila, 39, Kaliningrad

HAVE AN OPINION

Psychologist and author of the book “Seven Steps to a Successful Divorce,” American Lara Davis, believes that it is useful for ex-spouses to have a common divorce party: “Your common life belongs not only to you, but also to your friends and family. They have a right to know what's going on." Lara is sure: if the spouses are visible on this day, it will be easier for them to survive the divorce, and they will not have to feel like a fragile figurine that loved ones are afraid to drop or injure. Another argument in favor of the party: “With its help, spouses have a better chance of maintaining friendly relations and communication.”

70% OF DIVORCE WOMEN CLING ON TO THE PAST FOR A LONG TIME AND DO NOT ALLOW THEMSELVES TO TUNE INTO THE PRESENT AND LOOK BOLDLY AT THE FUTURE.

OPTION 4: EVERYTHING IS IN PARTS

“That day I took the day off, slept well and rushed to another city to get a divorce. The relationship fizzled out, but we continued to communicate on friendly terms. My husband met me at the airport with a bouquet of roses and a huge soft toy, a gray wolf (his name is Sergei). After completing the paperwork, my friends and I went out of town for a barbecue. A photo shoot was held on the sandy shore and a video was shot in the style of Trash the Wedding Dress (“Throw away Wedding Dress"). We fooled around, rolled on the sand, painted each other with fake blood. When it got dark, they burned it wedding dresses on a fire and launched two heart-shaped balls into the sky. As a sign that our hearts are free to new love. I liked this day more than our wedding.” Ekaterina, 26, St. Petersburg

NATIONAL PECULIARITIES

• Anti-wedding photo albums are popular in Italy; in them, ex-spouses keep pictures taken on the day of their divorce.
• In Canada, it is not uncommon to receive postcards with the inscription “Happy Divorce!”
• In the United States, two books boldly claim the title of bestseller: “The Divorce Party Planner” and “Seven Steps to Separating with Success.”

OPTION 5: FOR FREEDOM

“On the day of her divorce, a friend invited me to a bar and was straightforward: “I want to get drunk.” How can you not support your friend?! There were many visitors to the establishment. The waiter brought our order, we raised the first toast: “For her, for freedom!” Then the second: “For him, let him be happy!” After two glasses, my friend perked up, became bolder and... went to the stage. I saw her talking about something with a musician. He smiles in response and nods his head. And now she’s already in front of the microphone: “Dear friends! Today I got divorced. For this occasion, I ordered Valery Kipelov’s song “I’m Free.” Let my now ex-husband find his happiness - the kind that he himself wants, and most importantly, deserves!” At first, deathly silence reigned in the hall, which a moment later was broken up by a flurry of exclamations, applause and cries of “Congratulations!” The public supported the choice of the song, then it was ordered twice more. ...During the third performance, after the words “There is no more room for you in my soul,” my friend began to cry. Sometimes one of the couple wants a divorce, and it takes time to get over it. One after another, women sat down at our table, reassured us, advised us, and shared their stories. The men were silent and drinking sympathetically. But that's not the end of the story! A few hours later, in that same bar, my friend met Him, as it soon turned out, her future husband!” Sophia, 31, Ekaterinburg

SWEETEN THE PILL

Confectioners in the USA and Europe have recipes for anti-wedding cakes. All the ingredients in them are the same as in wedding ones, but the decorative elements allow your imagination to run wild. According to Suzanne Maxwell, owner of a bakery in Texas, such cakes can be decorated with fallen wedding rings, upside-down doves, broken wedding bells, and cartoon figures of ex-wives and husbands. Florida pastry chef Larry Bach offers ex-spouses a wedding cake upside down or decorates the dessert with murder scenes (the man is usually unlucky in them). Georgius Vasiliou, a baker from Berlin, has been making cakes like this since 2005. Instead of roses, there is an edible portrait of the ex-husband. Englishwoman Fay Miller creates marzipan scenes of marital scandals, packed suitcases, brides with guns and knives. Prices for her creative work range from $100 to $1300.

“Get out, do you hear?! I don't want to see you! Get out of my life! You're divorced, do you hear?! I divorced you three times! I divorced you! I divorced you! I divorced you!” Such fiery speeches can often be heard during the destruction of Muslim families. More terrible expressions probably come out, but this is not the place to voice them. However, when saying such phrases, a man sometimes does not even suspect what serious words came out of his mouth and how much he may regret what he did.

Among many Dagestani Muslims, and Russian ones too, there is an opinion that in order to divorce your wife, you need to tell her three times: “I divorced you!” or “I gave you a divorce!” In fact, this is a big mistake, leading to big problems and big male tears. Because after such words, in order to return to her husband, a woman needs to marry another person, enter into a relationship with him, get divorced, wait out the period of Iddah, and only then can she remarry her former husband. Because of this, men with long tongues, which they cannot keep behind their teeth, bite their elbows. The cause of all these problems and worries is simple ignorance. But there is a way of divorce, after which a woman is not at all obliged to marry someone, so that, having suddenly reconciled, she returns to her husband. In addition, a one-time triple divorce is prohibited by Sharia law.

Many men these days do not know simple Sharia norms related to family life. They don’t know what they are obliged to do according to Sharia and what they can demand from their wives. They think that a wife has many more responsibilities than a husband. When they come to an Islamic store, for some reason they are looking for a book called “How to become a righteous wife”, and not “How to become a righteous husband”. Also, the spouses know little about the divorce process, except that they have to say something three times or something else. Who is to blame for this?

The spouses themselves are also to blame because they did not become thoroughly familiar with their religion before starting a family. Many mosque imams (not all) are to blame, as they hardly conduct lessons in them and do not explain the rules of Sharia to people. You are also to blame, because you did not explain to your friends and acquaintances what they do not know from religion. But this can be solved. You just need to devote a little time to studying Sharia, and everything will fall into place.

In this article, with the permission of Allah, we will briefly talk about what divorce is, what position it has in Islam, and that it is not at all necessary to repeat the words three times in order to divorce your wife.

Status of Divorce in Islam

Allah Almighty says: “Divorce is allowed twice, after which one must either keep the wife on reasonable terms or let her go kindly. You are not allowed to take anything from what he has given, unless both parties fear that they will not be able to comply with Allah's restrictions. And if you are afraid that they will not be able to comply with the restrictions of Allah, then they will both not commit a sin if she buys the divorce. These are the limits of Allah. Don't transgress them. And those who transgress the restrictions of Allah are the wrongdoers. If he divorced her for the third time, then he is not allowed to marry her until she marries someone else. And if he divorces her, then they will not commit a sin if they reunite, believing that they can comply with the restrictions of Allah. These are the limits of Allah. He explains them for people who know” (Surah Al-Baqarah, 229-230).

The basis of marriage, according to Sharia, is constancy. A Muslim does not marry a girl to live with her for a month or a year. Marriage for a Muslim is a fortress that he builds together with his wife, which will protect them both from the passions of this world. Through marriage, Muslims continue and increase the Islamic ummah, build a healthy society, and strengthen interethnic and interclan ties.

But there are times when spouses cannot continue living together. Maybe they didn’t get along, or a terrible quarrel left wounds in their hearts, and now they don’t want to be together. Moreover, they cannot tolerate it anymore. Such situations are not uncommon. There must be a way out of them, and there is one. This is a scam.

Divorce in Islam is a permitted but undesirable action, as it is considered the most disliked permitted action by Allah. From Ibn Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, it was reported that the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said: “The most disliked (provoking anger) permitted action for Allah is divorce (talaq).” The hadith was narrated by Abu Dawud, Ibn Majah and Al-Hakim. However, as we have already said, this action is permissible, and further we will learn how to properly perform a divorce.

How to get a divorce?

Divorce in Islam is carried out by a man. Every man who gets married has three attempts to get talaq (divorce). To divorce your wife, you need to tell her ONCE: “I give you a divorce!” By doing this you will divorce your wife, but she will not yet become a stranger to you, and you will still have the opportunity to return her!

Islam has a rather wise method of divorce. The words of divorce, such as “I am divorcing you,” must be said to the wife during the period of absence of haida (menstruation), during which the spouses did not have sexual intercourse. If you think about it, you can understand the greatest wisdom hidden in this form of divorce. Most divorces occur at a time when a quarrel flares up between spouses and, in a fit of anger, the husband throws out unnecessary words. If he had waited until the time when it was better to give a divorce, then in most cases he would hardly have divorced his wife, because his anger might cease and he might reconcile with her.

If the husband nevertheless firmly decided to divorce and, after waiting for a period of absence from the wife of Haida, in which they did not have sexual intercourse, gave her one talaq, she will not be completely freed from the bonds of marriage. From this moment on, the woman’s period of iddah begins. This is three periods of menstrual cleansing for women with a menstrual cycle and three months for those women for whom it has stopped. During the period of Iddah, a man has the right to return his wife. Such an action in Sharia is called “ruj’a”. He tells his divorced wife: “I’m bringing you back,” and she again becomes his full-fledged wife. However, the man will now have only two attempts at divorce, since he has already used one attempt. Ponder the wisdom of this method. If the man's resentment and anger did not go away during the time he waited for the moment of absence of haida, then after the first talaq he is given time of three months to think about and weigh his decision. This is a decent amount of time, and it is enough to forget everything that happened between the spouses and return to normal life.

If the husband does not return his wife within the period of Iddah, then their marriage ends. She becomes a free woman and can marry another man. But remember well: a man can marry her again after this period ends, only by concluding a new marriage contract. It should also be remembered that even if he marries her again, he will still only have two attempts at divorce, because he has already used one attempt.

There may be a new quarrel between them, and again he can give her one divorce and she will again begin the period of iddah, and again he can return her, but now he will only have one attempt at divorce, after which the woman will have to marry someone else, to return to her former husband again.

Allah Almighty gives Muslims three attempts at divorce, in which a man can return his wife twice and live his former life with her. This period is provided in order to think, gather thoughts, weigh the pros and cons and make the right decision. But if a man continually divorces his wife, he will be subjected to a great test from the Sharia - his wife will have to marry another man, and then divorce in order to return to him. No normal person wants this. It’s stupid to close off all avenues for your wife’s return and give three divorces at once!

Allah Almighty, by limiting divorce to three attempts, thereby put more responsibility into a man’s words regarding divorce, so that he could not play with a woman’s feelings and mock her. However, due to ignorance, not paying attention to Sharia norms, many men create unnecessary problems for themselves.

Conclusion

There is no need to divorce your wives over trifles or over emotions. First of all, try to find ways to resolve family problems. Look for reasons in
yourself and try to eliminate them. But if you can no longer live in marriage and decide to get a divorce, give one talaq, and do not give three at once, so that you don’t have to regret it later. In addition, three times divorce at one time does not correspond to the Sunnah and is prohibited by Shariah.

It was narrated from Mahmud ibn Labid, may Allah be pleased with him, that he said: “The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, was told about a man who gave his wife three divorces at once. He stood up, angry, and said: “Is it really possible to play with the Book of Allah while I am still among you?!” (An-Nasai, 3348).

We have collected reliable theory and answers to practical questions. Learn from the mistakes of others, not your own.

One we know Muslim family is in a difficult situation. During a family quarrel, the husband pronounced the divorce formula (talaq) three times in a row. Can he get his wife back?

As for the case when three divorces are given at the same time, then “during the life of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of the Creator be upon him), then during the reign of Abu Bakr and during the two years of the reign of 'Umar, a triple [one-time] talaq was considered one [that is, if the husband immediately pronounced the divorce formula three times, this was counted as one time].” Ibn ‘Abbas, who transmitted this hadith, quotes after it the words of ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab: “Truly, people began to rush in what is needed is patience [slowness; calm, reasonable and deliberate approach]. And if we complete this (put a signature under it) [make sure that the three voiced talaqs are counted as three; in order to wean people from this harmful habit?! Let them think before they say such things]” Ibn ‘Abbas ends his narration with the words: “He did so. [That is, he ordered three talaqs spoken at a time to be counted as three].”

In the realities of modern religious illiteracy and, unfortunately, the thoughtless emotional use of the words divorce in family quarrels, I believe that the canonical practice of the times of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of God be upon him), the period of the reign of Abu Bakr and the first two years of the reign of 'Umar has the highest priority, that is, three talaq spoken at the same time should be counted as one. Moreover, taking into account the general context of the Koran and Sunnah, which call us to create families and protect them, maintaining intra-family harmony, mutual understanding and integrity.

I note that at the end of the verse telling about the stages of divorce, when talaq is given one after another once a month, there are the words:

“These are the boundaries defined for you by Allah (God, Lord), do not cross them! Those who cross boundaries are sinners (oppressors, tyrants)” (see).

Based on this verse, some Muslim scholars have concluded: “Three talaq divorces at a time are haram (forbidden and unacceptable).”

It is also reported that during the time of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of the Almighty be upon him), one man divorced his wife, pronouncing three divorces at a time. Prophet Muhammad stood up and angrily said: “He is playing with the book of Allah (God, Lord) [distorting what is written in it], and this is when I am among you?! [That is, how dare he give three divorces at a time, when the Koran clearly says about stages, and with the presence certain conditions]". The dissatisfaction of the Prophet (may the Almighty bless him and greet him) was so great that one of the companions stood up and exclaimed: “O Messenger of God, maybe I should kill him?”

Twenty years of practice as an imam of a mosque (since 1997) and communication with parishioners have repeatedly confirmed and confirm to me the correctness of precisely the option that was practiced during the time of the Prophet Muhammad (may the Almighty bless him and welcome him) - counting a one-time triple talaq as one, and only that way. You should pronounce the words of divorce only in a calm, conscious state with the appropriate intention, and not in a fit of uncontrollable anger.

Shamil, I recently divorced my wife, but now I want to get her back. When I decided to divorce her, I came to her father’s house and, in front of witnesses (two men), said: “I’m divorcing you. I'm divorcing you. I’m divorcing you.” Now, at the insistence of my relatives, I want to bring her back. Is it possible? If so, what needs to be done to get her back?

A one-time triple divorce can be counted as one, and therefore if three months have not passed (from the moment you voiced this), you can return it without special procedures. But if they have passed, then you will have to hold a new marriage and give your wife a new wedding gift (mahr).

And let me remind you that after the third final divorce, the spouses can no longer get back together. This is practically impossible except under certain conditions.

‘Umar’s opinion was adopted by almost all Muslim scholars. See, for example: an-Nawawi Ya. Sahih Muslim bi sharkh an-Nawawi [Collection of hadiths of Imam Muslim with comments by Imam an-Nawawi]. In 10 volumes, 18 hours, volume 5, part 10, pp. 70–72.

However, I dare say that this is their opinion, and not the direct text of the verse or hadith. And this (opinion) for the last centuries (I don’t know what it was like in those days, more than 1000 years ago, when scientists agreed with the words of ‘Umar and gave the corresponding fatwas) brings obvious harm to family life, and not benefit. I will assume criticism in my address regarding the argumentation of the opinion of the majority of scientists, and therefore I will immediately note that it is indirect, in contrast to the hadith cited earlier.

Collection of hadiths of Imam Muslim. See: an-Naysaburi M. Sahih Muslim [Code of Hadiths of Imam Muslim]. Riyadh: al-Afkar ad-Dawliyya, 1998. P. 590, Hadith No. 15–(1472); an-Nawawi Ya. Sahih Muslim bi sharkh an-Nawawi [Compendium of hadiths of Imam Muslim with comments by Imam an-Nawawi]. In 10 volumes, 18 hours, volume 5, part 10, pp. 70–72, hadith No. 15–(1472) and an explanation to it; al-Munziri Z. Mukhtasar sahih Muslim. P. 246, Hadith No. 850; Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziya. A'lam al-muwakki'in 'an rabb al-'alamin. In 4 volumes. Beirut: al-Kitab al-‘arabi, 1996. Vol. 3. pp. 30, 31.

Let me note that there is an opinion that such an innovative (bid'a) form of divorce should not be considered a divorce at all, should be ignored and not taken into account. For more information about this opinion and its argumentation, see, for example: an-Nawawi Ya. Sahih Muslim bi sharkh an-Nawawi [Code of Hadiths of Imam Muslim with comments by Imam an-Nawawi]. In 10 volumes, 18 hours. Vol. 5. Part 10. P. 70; al-Qurtubi M. Al-Jami‘ li ahkyam al-qur’an [Code of the Qur’an]. In 20 volumes. Beirut: al-Kutub al-‘ilmiya, 1988. T. 18. P. 101.

See: al-Sabuni M. Mukhtasar tafsir ibn kasir [Abbreviated tafsir of Ibn Kasir]. In 3 volumes. Beirut: al-Kalam, [b. G.]. T. 1. P. 207.

The level of reliability of the hadith is low, but in meaning it is correct, Muslim theologians took it into account. See: an-Nasai A. Sunan [Code of Hadiths]. Riyadh: al-Afkar ad-Dawliyya, 1999. P. 359, Hadith No. 3401, “da'if”; al-Sabuni M. Mukhtasar tafsir ibn kasir [Abbreviated tafsir of Ibn Kasir]. In 3 volumes. Beirut: al-Kalam, [b. G.]. T. 1. P. 207.

Funny jokes about divorce

- I Yesterday I almost divorced my wife.
- Why “a little”?
“We quarreled, she said she was leaving, but before leaving she took so long to apply makeup that she forgot where she was going...

— Z Why are you buying your wife a new dress if you are going to divorce her?
- But in the old days she doesn’t want to go to court!

R two people get divorced. The judge asks the husband why he decided to divorce. He answered, hiding his eyes:
- Yes, she turned out to be a cold woman.
The wife, unable to bear this, shouts:
- I’m not a cold woman, you just don’t reach me where I’m hot.

- IN Are you happy in your family life?
- Oh yeah! We love each other so much that we have already postponed the divorce three times!

P the drunken husband returns home and yells:
- That's it, you got me! Divorce!
Wife, with a snake smile:
- Okay, honey, now I’ll just go get the key!
- Which one?
- DIVORCE!!!

- M I don’t think my wife wants to divorce me.
- Why do you think so?
- Yesterday she brought her friend home!
- So what?
- You have no idea how beautiful she is!

M We got divorced because of one phrase of mine. During the scandal, Volodya threatened to ruin my life, and I told him that he could only ruin the air...

WITH The divorce case is being heard. Judge:
- Plaintiff, explain why you want to divorce?
- The fact is that my husband a year and a half ago in the evening went out to buy cigarettes, returned last week and made a scandal with me because the dinner was cold. . .

B cancer divorce process. A husband demands a divorce because of his wife's endless infidelities. The wife's lawyer advises her:
- Our strategy should be like this. You are a faithful wife. Deny everything, ask every question again and pretend that you
you don't understand what we're talking about. I will give you signs.
Wife:
- I got it.
On trial. The husband's lawyer stands up and asks a question:
- Is it true that on June 12 of this year, in the pouring rain, you had sexual intercourse with the midget Giacomo from the Amaretto Circus on a motorcycle moving along the main street at a speed of 100 km/h?
The wife's lawyer nods at her discreetly.
Wife:
- I don’t understand anything. What date do you say?

AND ena:
“I demand that we be divorced: my husband sold all the pots without my knowledge and drank the money away.”
Husband:
“I also ask you to separate us: my wife noticed the missing pots only on the sixteenth day!”

P After the divorce, my wife and I divided our house equally: she got the inside, and I got the outside.

- P why do people get divorced?
- Because weddings are taking place! A family life- not toys!

- TO it's over divorce proceedings Johnsons?
- As it should be. The husband received the car, the spouse received the children, and the lawyer received everything else as a fee.

P Statistics show that a quarter of all divorces occur because the husband spends too little time with his wife; three quarters - because he spends too much time with her...

TO what a The best way get rid of 70 kg of excess fat?
Get a divorce.

- P Statistics show that more than half of marriages end in divorce.
- And what about the rest?
- Well, by death.
- Mom, I don’t want to get married!

A lawyer asks:
- What would you like to get after a divorce?
- I would like to get children, an apartment, a car and... my ex-husband.

M The young couple turned to the judge for a divorce.
“But there was something about your husband, signora, that you liked.”
Wife: It was, sir judge, it was! But I spent it all!

A Alexander Druz is divorcing his wife. He asks: “Are you going to change your last name?” Wife: “No, better let’s remain Friends!”

- P Why did you decide to divorce your wife, Mr. Jones?
- For reasons of humanity, your honor.
- ???
- If I live with her for at least one more day, I will definitely strangle this bitch!!!

- P AP, when did you lose more money - during the last crisis, or the year before?
- During the divorce from your mother!!!
By the way, then I still didn’t understand why it was called DIVORCE...

P dividing a divorce after the fifth is no different from...

P Before a wedding you think that it can’t be better, before a divorce you think that it can’t be worse. And you are wrong every time!

B cancer divorce process. The husband is asked:
- What is the reason for your divorce?
- We have different interests. She is interested in men, and I am interested in women!

- IN All your arguments are insufficient to dissolve the marriage. You should
reconcile with your wife.
- This is too severe a punishment, Mr. Judge.

- A Do you know what Seryoga did in the apartment? I glued linoleum to the ceiling. I stuck the wallpaper with the back side facing out. The walls in the bathroom were covered with carpet. And all in good faith.
- Has he lost his mind?
- He's getting a divorce. And my wife and mother-in-law get this apartment.

TO A client asks a lawyer to take charge of the divorce process.
- Why do you want to separate? - asks the lawyer.
- I can't stand it anymore. My wife has a bad habit of going to bed in the morning.
- What does she do all night?
- Is waiting for me!

- P Why do you want to divorce your husband? - asks the judge.
- We have different religious views.
- And more specifically?
- He does not recognize me as a goddess.

- P why do women get married?
- Lack of life experience.
- Why are they getting divorced?
- Lack of patience.
- Why are they getting married again?
- Lack of memory.

P on TV shows an interview with an elderly couple who recently celebrated their golden wedding. A TV journalist asks his grandfather a question:
- Tell me, during your time life together Ever thought about divorce?
- What are you, young man, how could you even think such a thing! About murder - it happened more than once, but about divorce - never!

AND ena - to her husband:
- I'm tired of being your maid! I'm filing for divorce!
- No, you're fired!

A Angelina Jolie is crazy! Imagine, she's divorcing Brad Pitt so she can adopt him.

AND A woman from the village came to file for divorce.
- Completely fucked me! Give it to him at night, in the morning, and in the afternoon... I have no more strength!
- Okay, we will consider your appeal.
- Yes, she is so swollen that there is nothing to look at!

WITH A married couple bought a greenhouse, and a stern uncle delivered it to the site. Husband asks:
- How long does it take to collect it?
The stern uncle answers:
- My partner and I will put it together in 6 hours, and you (he looked at them) - from two days to divorce.

AND Ena files for divorce.
- What is your reason for divorce? - asks the judge.
- He makes me eat everything I cook for him...

N Are you afraid to go outside? What if the wife finds out? She's just a beast!
Deep breath:
- At best, he will file for divorce.
- I'm even afraid to ask what's the worst case scenario.
- At worst, it won’t serve.

90% people who send SMS to find out what awaits them: love, sex or divorce, learn another meaning of the word “divorce”.

- T Is your wife not satisfied with you sexually?
- Arranges.
- Why are you getting divorced then?
- So it’s not only me who’s happy with it in this regard.

H a devout man always washes the sugar bowl before adding new sugar, the butter dish before putting in fresh oil, and diluting it before bringing in a new woman.

N I unexpectedly got married. It turned out that getting a divorce unexpectedly would not work.

- WITH Listen, friend, why are you getting divorced for the seventh time? Are there really only scoundrels?
- No. I just really love weddings.

P After divorcing his wife, Seryoga single-handedly raises and grows his beer belly. And on weekends he even takes him on carousels and roller coasters.

As I read the New Testament many times, I gradually developed an understanding of how God views remarriage according to the Bible. For God, marriage is valid until the death of one of the spouses, and not until divorce, and although divorce is sometimes allowed, this does not mean that remarriage is also allowed, and only after the death of the spouse is remarriage permissible and will no longer be a sin. At the same time, it does not matter what married people believed in and what they believe in now, and what happened before - wedding or repentance. I for a long time I was looking for counterarguments to this point of view and continue to look, but along the way I found a fairly complete and clear presentation of the understanding of this issue, which coincides with mine, so I present it below. And two more articles from the same site on the same topic: Divorce and Remarriage and 11 Theses on Marriage, Divorce, Remarriage and Adultery

Westminster Confession of Faith on Remarriage

Martin McGeown

(Protestant Reformed Covenant Community, Ballymena, Northern Ireland)

It must be confessed that we do not agree (unfortunately) with the teaching of the Westminster Confession of Faith (WCC) on divorce and remarriage. Although we have deep respect for this rightfully revered symbol, we nevertheless cannot agree with the Westminster divines on this issue, because of our conviction - on the basis of Holy Scripture - that in this area they were seriously mistaken . Here's what VIV says:

5. ... In case of adultery after marriage, the innocent party can legally demand a divorce, and after the divorce remarry, as in the case of the death of a spouse. 6. Although a person’s sinfulness is such that he is ready to consider (seek) arguments for divorce, (nevertheless) one should not divorce those whom God has united in marriage; Therefore, nothing, except a case of adultery or such deliberate abandonment of the family, which can in no way be corrected either by the Church or by civil authority, is a sufficient reason for the dissolution of marriage. Divorce must be carried out publicly and legally. It is not permissible to leave such cases to the discretion and will of the spouses themselves (VIV 24:5-6).

However, Scripture teaches that remarrying while both spouses are alive is a continuing act of adultery for both parties:

He said to them: whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if a wife divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery (Mark 10:11-12).

Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and whoever marries one who is divorced from her husband commits adultery (Luke 16:18).

Therefore, if she marries another while her husband is alive, she is called an adulteress; But if her husband dies, she is free from the law, and will not be an adulteress if she marries another husband (Romans 7:3).

A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; if her husband dies, she is free to marry whomever she wants, only in the Lord (I Corinthians 7:39).

The Bible's teaching on this issue is very clear and unequivocal: the only ground for divorce is adultery, and the only alternative for divorced people is to remain celibate or to be reconciled with their spouses: “But to those who are married, I do not command, but the Lord: a wife must not divorce her husband; “But if she divorces, she must remain single, or be reconciled to her husband, and a husband should not leave [his] wife” (I Corinthians 7:10-11).

Divorce (for any reason) does not break the marriage bond. A married couple can get divorced according to the laws of the state in which they live, and this couple may no longer live together, due to a legally formalized “dissolution” of marriage, but God united them into one flesh on their wedding day, and only He has the power dissolve their union of one flesh, through death, and only through death. Scripture insists on this: “A married woman is bound by law to her living husband; and if the husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage” (Rom. 7:2) and “A wife is bound by the law as long as her husband lives; if her husband dies, she is free to marry whomever she wants, only in the Lord” (I Cor. 7:39). For this reason, Jesus requires that the marital relationship be respected and protected: “so that they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate” (Matthew 19:6).

According to the Westminster Confession, marriage can be dissolved not only by death. VIV allows the innocent party after a divorce to remarry because it treats the guilty party as if he had died. “In case of adultery after marriage, the innocent party may lawfully demand a divorce, and after the divorce remarry, as in the case of the death of a spouse” (VIV 24:5; emphasis added, MM). However, Scripture gives permission for remarriage only in the event of the real, physical death of the spouse: “Therefore, if she marries another while her husband is alive, she is called an adulteress; if her husband dies, she is free from the law, and will not be an adulteress if she marries another husband" (Romans 7:3) "... if her husband dies, she is free to marry whomever she wants, only in the Lord" (I Corinthians 7: 39). We are not talking about the potential or conditional death of a spouse.

In allowing remarriage for the "innocent party", the Westminster divines referred to the explanatory clause "except" in the Gospel of Matthew:

But I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for the guilt of adultery, gives her a reason to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery (Matthew 5:32).

but I say to you: whoever divorces his wife for reasons other than adultery and marries another commits adultery; and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery (Matthew 19:9).

The exceptions in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9 refer to divorce, not remarriage. Pay attention to how the sentence is constructed. Christ does not say: “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, except for the guilt of adultery, commits adultery.” No! Instead, He says: “Whoever divorces his wife for reasons other than adultery and marries another commits adultery.” The construction of the sentence proves that Christ gives an exception in the case of divorce, not remarriage.

Westminster theologians were even more mistaken in allowing divorce and remarriage in the event of one of the spouses leaving the family. Firstly, it should be noted that the VIV here gives an extremely vague definition of what can be classified as such “abandonment”: “... nothing, except in the case of adultery or such deliberate abandonment of the family, which in no way can be corrected either by the Church, nor by civil authority, is a sufficient basis for the dissolution of marriage (emphasis added, MM).” But the passage from Holy Scripture to which the VIV refers as evidence of this statement (I Cor. 7:15) does not give any reason to believe that unauthorized abandonment by one of the spouses supposedly breaks the bonds of marriage and gives permission to the abandoned party to remarry.

In I Corinthians 7:12-16, the Apostle Paul addresses a topic that did not come up during Christ's earthly ministry: intermarriage. If an unbelieving spouse agrees to live with a believer, then the believing party should not leave or leave the unbelieving half. Paul forbids this. Such abandonment is a sin, and cannot be grounds for remarriage (even under the cover of an erroneous understanding of verse 15). But VIV gives permission for remarriage due to any abandonment. And those who are “ready to consider (any) arguments for divorce” (HIV 24:6) can and do appeal to the vagueness of this paragraph to find a basis for justifying divorce and remarriage.

To the rest I say, not the Lord: if a brother has an unbelieving wife, and she agrees to live with him, then he should not leave her; and a wife who has an unbelieving husband, and he agrees to live with her, should not leave him (I Corinthians 7:12-13).

The case of abandonment that the apostle writes about here is when the unbelieving party leaves the family because of the piety of the Christian half. In this case, the believing party has a clear (good) conscience. The husband left because of the pious behavior of his believing wife. There is no guilt here, there is no need to fear church punishment or the disapproval of the saints: “... the brother or sister in such [cases] is not bound; The Lord has called us to peace” (I Corinthians 7:15).

But this does not mean that the marriage bond is now broken. The unbelieving party sinned by leaving its half. The believer may have a clear conscience in this, but the marriage bond remains valid. Evidence of this is in this same chapter (I Cor. 7:39). A brother or sister in this state cannot remarry because they are still married (“one flesh”) in the sight of God. If the believing party, in this situation, that is, with a living spouse, nevertheless enters into a second marriage, then he or she, despite the permission and even the blessing of the church and state, commits adultery. This brother or sister cannot have a good conscience and peace until he repents and ends this adulterous relationship.

In I Cor. 7:15, literally says, “a brother or sister in such [cases] “is not enslaved.” That is, it does not mean here that “the brother or sister in such cases are not bound” in the sense that the marriage ties are now “untied” - and they are now free on all four sides! No! Believers, when abandoned by their unbelieving spouses, are not enslaved (that is the meaning of the original Greek), but still bound!

Marriage is a bond, a bond, a union of one flesh for life, but nowhere in Scripture is the marital relationship characterized as “bondage”! It is simply unacceptable to say that 1 Cor. 7:15 means that the brother or sister, in such cases, is not related—no longer married. VIV, made a serious mistake, and this mistake bore bitter fruit in the life of the church.

When the Pharisees came to Jesus and asked: “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?” (Matthew 19:3), Jesus responded by referring to the original institution in the book of Genesis:

He answered and said to them, Have you not read that He who created in the beginning made them male and female? And he said, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh, 6 so that they are no longer two, but one flesh.” Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate (Matthew 19:4-6).

When the Pharisees objected, citing Deuteronomy 24, Jesus explained that Moses legalized divorce because of the hardness of the Israelites (Matt. 19:8). Moses “allowed” or allowed such a situation in his time, because many husbands left their wives and took new ones. So hard-hearted the Israelites could not submit to the law of the Lord (Rom. 8:7), who "hates divorce" (Mal. 2:16), and "was a witness between" them and the wives of their youth, against whom they acted treacherously, meanwhile, as they are their lawful wives and girlfriends (Malachi 2:14). But Jesus will not tolerate such a situation in His kingdom. Hard-hearted individuals in the church today may point to Deuteronomy 24, but Christ's answer is uncompromising:

Moses, because of your hardness of heart, allowed you to divorce your wives, but at first it was not so; but I say to you: whoever divorces his wife for reasons other than adultery and marries another commits adultery; and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery (Matthew 19:8-9).

Additionally, marriage between a man and a woman was instituted to reflect the heavenly marriage bond that exists between Christ and His Church (Eph. 5:23-32). The third chapter of the book of Jeremiah is very instructive in this regard. Verse 1: "They say, 'If a man lets his wife go, and she leaves him and becomes another man's wife, can she return to him? Wouldn't that country become defiled?'" This is a reference to Deuteronomy 24:4 (the same passage was referred to by the hard-hearted Pharisees to ensnare the Lord in Matt. 19:7). Israel, the treacherous wife of Jehovah (Jer. 3:20), cheated many times (“she committed fornication with many lovers” Jer. 3:1) and although the Lord rightfully “gave her a letter of divorce” (Jer. 3:8), yet He calls on her: “Return to Me, says the Lord” (Jer. 3:1). Despite the fornication of Israel and the letter of divorce she received from the Lord for her fornication, God still maintains the marriage bond and does not take another wife for Himself: “because I have married you” (Jer. 3:14). He says this after He handed Israel a letter of divorce and sent her away for her spiritual fornication! Amazing grace! The spiritual fornication of Christ's bride cannot break the heavenly bonds because Christ remains faithful. He guards His wife and heals her disobedience (Jer. 3:22). It is for this reason that adultery in marriage cannot destroy the union of one flesh, and that is why adultery is such a serious crime, for it is a sin committed against the mystery of Christ and His Church.

What was the reaction of the disciples to such uncompromising teaching on marriage? They were stunned: “His disciples said to him, If this is the duty of a man to his wife, then it is better not to marry” (Matthew 19:10).

But would the disciples have been so shocked if Jesus had taught like the Westminster theologians? Would anyone be surprised if they told him: “You can get married, but if something goes wrong, then you have the right to divorce your wife?” unfaithful wife, and take another wife? Most people believe that this is how it should be done, because it is “fair” and “reasonable” and the majority live this way. For the flesh, such teaching is very convenient. But would Jesus have answered as recorded in Matthew 19:11: “Not everyone can receive this word, but to those who have it given” (Matthew 19:11), if He had also given permission to the “innocent party” to remarry? No, only the Lord’s teaching about the inviolability of the marriage bond evokes the answer: “if such is a man’s duty to his wife, then it is better not to marry” (Matthew 19:10). Something is clearly wrong with the teaching on marriage in the church today because we are not hearing responses like the disciples!

We disagree with the Westminster Confession on this point because it is, in this place, contrary to Scripture. VIV contains many beautifully worded statements and we wholeheartedly agree with many of the articles. Moreover, if all who call themselves Presbyterians actually professed the doctrines set forth in the VIV, the churches would be in a much better condition. But we stand on Scripture first, and on Christ's, not Westminster's, teaching on marriage.

The Westminster Confession itself instructs us to test all teaching in the light of Scripture:

The Supreme Judge, to whom we must turn for the resolution of all controversial questions concerning faith, and by whom all the decisions of councils, the opinions of ancient writers, the teachings of men and personal revelations are verified, and on whose judgments we must base ourselves, can be none other than the Holy Spirit , speaking in Scripture (VIV I:10).

In obedience to this principle, we conclude that adultery and abandonment cannot break the bond of marriage and permit remarriage. What God has joined together, let no man separate.