Is it true that German women don’t like children?
Is it true that most women in Germany are ugly?
Is it true that German women are called the strong half of humanity in the country?
The whole truth and incorrect stereotypes about the female population of Germany are collected in this article!
Germans have no sense of humor!
Not true. It is true that German girls are more restrained in showing emotions. But the fact that they are completely devoid of a sense of humor is fundamentally wrong! Germany simply has its own concept of fun and jokes, which is different from ours, which is why one gets the impression that German women are prim. Undoubtedly, there are also certain individuals, princesses without laughter, who never smile once during the evening. But this is rather nonsense than a rule. I also want to note that German women will not understand some jokes in the workplace. Only beyond the threshold will they reveal their true artistic natures.
By the way, German humor is different from Russian; it’s a little “black,” I would say. But again, it's a matter of habit.
German women are building a career!
Is it true. According to global statistics, the income of women around the world is 30% less than that of men. And in Germany this percentage is reduced to 10. Women here do not cope with work worse than men. For example, German women willingly occupy leadership positions here and choose male professions(for example, a policeman or a surgeon) and sometimes earn more than men.
From childhood, they set goals for themselves and achieve them, developing professionally. Parents instill in girls determination and patience.
At first, it was a little strange for me to see men behind the cash register in stores, and women in construction hypermarkets.
German girls do not wait for princes in white Mercedes, they are used to doing everything themselves.
Germans are punctual!
Not true. If we don’t talk about work where there are pass-through mechanisms, and if you are late, money will be deducted from your salary, then German women love to be late. And they even consider this to be the norm. Are you inviting me to visit you at four? Don't expect guests earlier than half past four! It will be surprising if girls in Germany arrive on time for their appointment. Not to mention dating!
Germans are more tolerant of children!
Is it true. Women have a very developed instinct of motherhood. And Germans are no exception in this regard. However, standing and watching your child splash in a puddle in the cold autumn - what patience you need to have! And Germans please! She stands nearby and smiles! With the same smile he stands in the sandbox when a child throws sand at a passing uncle. With the same smile - when a child pulls a dog by the ears. With the same smile - when a child in a store throws all the candy into the cart. Absolute patience! Need to learn!
Germans don't like to receive guests!
Here I even doubt what to write, truth or fiction. Because the concept of receiving guests differs between us and the Germans. As they say, the “broad Russian soul” is not inherent in German women. I came to visit the Germans, and they didn’t even offer you tea. We don't understand this kind of hospitality. And this is not at all because they do not like guests. It’s just not customary for them to put everything in the refrigerator on the table. Likewise, the Germans will find our customs strange when the table is laden with delicacies for guests.
Usually German women invite guests just to chat, and not to drink coffee and buns.
German women love themselves!
Is it true. And I will say from myself, you need to learn this from them! German women value themselves, their time and what they do. They always have their own opinion, know their rights and achieve heights in their careers. Women in Germany are independent and can afford to pay in a restaurant not only for themselves, but also for their companion.
German women have been buying branded clothing and expensive accessories since they were girls. They go to cosmetologists, do fitness, have expensive hobbies and are proud of it!
German women get married late!
Is it true. German women do not see the meaning of life in marriage and pregnancy. They are free from the gossip of grandmothers at the entrances “already 35 and not yet married.” German women are proud not of how well they got married, but of what university they graduated from and what prestigious company they work for.
German women don't wear makeup!
Not true. When choosing cosmetics, women in Germany are guided by natural flowers to make your makeup look natural.
And to make sure that German women use makeup, you should visit a disco.
German women have free morals when it comes to their partners!
Not true! Yes, in Germany there are houses with red lanterns, swing centers and saunas. But this does not mean at all that free love reigns here! The concept of family has a special meaning among Germans. The lowest percentage of divorces occurs in this country. Family values are highly valued by German women, which is why the average length of marriage here is 20 years.
Don't believe stereotypes!
Tatiana Diehl, Bremen (Germany).
Where are the girls more beautiful - in Moscow or Munich? Russians or Germans, damn it?! It's time to clarify this issue and hurt someone's national pride! The answer is not as obvious as it might seem at first glance. The situation on the streets can be partially clarified by a daytime photo hunt of two perverts to whom no one gives any permission, so they sublimate bloggers with long and thick lenses. Munich resident morseanen
I recently shot girls for my report, and I decided to accept a challenge that no one had given me and go to the center of Moscow.
And here are 10 photos for comparison. What can a hungry photographer see in a couple of hours in the capitals of Russia and Bavaria?
We 
They 
But Morsa’s photos are better!)) I was greatly hampered by the blinding sun, which burned out all the details, and the wary glances of Muscovites, forcing me to shoot at maximum zoom. Everything glared and blurred...
2.
We are near a fashion store 
They are right there. 
3.
We usually go in pairs. It’s more fun this way, even though it’s not written on our always preoccupied faces.
They are the same people, huddled together and huddled together in groups.
4. The principle of “one beautiful and one smart” is strictly observed by us. This is a way to survive in a dangerous crazy city. The smart one identifies worthy men and makes a verdict, the beautiful one nods in agreement and goes on board, arranging her personal life.
Do they have such a ritual? I hope Morseanen can provide an answer. Personally, it seemed to me that Munich women (Munich women?) are not aware of this...
5.
There are plenty of singles too. Why are there no young people next to them, what kind of fashion is this?! Where are the hugs, kisses, staring contests, jokes, cafe pay and other goodies?! Only one mobile phone is an eternal companion and friend, we never part with it.
What about them? 
6.
There are many, many loners. Putin is spying on them...
They don't need anyone, everyone goes about their business. As soon as the short, stylish Morsa clicks from afar, pretending with all his might that he is interested in “that beautiful building over there.”
7.
What's better - high heels and tight trousers, or casual denim? I am happy that I live in Moscow and delight the eyes everywhere with the sights of women who look like women. 
No, I can’t skip this and not change the angle!
How does Morsa feel, swimming in a sea of sneakers and jeans? Doesn’t he swear in secret and dream of the coveted Moscow registration?! Questions, questions...
8. We, Russian policemen
They are German civilians
9. Who is better dressed? I don't have an answer to this question. Moscow is rich, Munich too. This is typical us:
This is typical of them.
10.
I still think that Muscovites are more beautiful for the most part. Although the gap is not as great as it turned out. Finding enchanting beauties on a fine day is not as easy as it seems. Mostly - just nice, pretty girls, the decoration of our cities.
"What's up with the Krauts?"
This long-standing debate of ours will be sooooo long, bringing wonderful photos, wonderful posts, wonderful fights and a lot of fun for everyone. Well, shall we continue?))
2. The largest number of police cars in Germany are Mercedes.
3. The Germans do not know and are afraid of dried fish.
4. Affirmative answer “Yes, yes!” pronounced with the intonation of the Russian “Nu-nu!” means “Kiss my ass” and is understood as such.
5. Due to a demonstration of forty nationalists, traffic in Gamurga is blocked, and the demonstration route is cordoned off by a regiment of policemen in helmets and bulletproof vests. They protect... nationalists. Not a joke, but a fact.
6. In Germany you can not work and live on social assistance. True, it’s very poor, but there’s life.
7. Difference of dialects German language such is that television programs in the north of the country are sometimes shown with sign language translation when spoken by southerners.
8. If the question: “How to get there?” They will smile at you, take out your iPhone, look at the navigation and, after explaining how to get there, offer to give you a ride by car - you are in Germany.
9. The fine for slapping is 500 euros.
10. If you want the court's leniency, you must confirm that at the beginning of the fight you did not clench your fists.
11. If you do not work in certain areas and do not engage in dubious activities, then you can live your whole life in Germany without ever encountering obvious crime.
12. If you are nevertheless attacked and hit, a retaliatory blow must be struck within one second. If after two, then you will be judged.
13. In Germany, traumatic pistols and gas cartridges are prohibited.
14. The police in Germany, even after catching up with you, do not beat you.
15. 80% of crime in Germany is carried out by foreigners.
16. If you have incurred debts of even half a million, it is enough to declare your ruin and you will be obliged to find a permanent job, they will leave you about a thousand euros to live on and in less than 10 years, your debts will be written off.
17. It is extremely difficult to evict even a tenant who does not pay rent in Germany.
18. Living in rented housing in Germany is the norm. Three quarters of the population live in rented apartments and houses. The security of the tenant is extremely high. Even the wealthiest segments of the population live in rented housing.
19. Repairing anything in Germany is so expensive that it is often easier to buy a new thing.
20. The Germans relate to their Nazi past in the same way as the Aborigines do to the eating of Cook.
21. Guilt for World War II has been ingrained in the consciousness of Germans since kindergarten.
22. Children in Germany can do anything. Actually, that's all. Parents will be responsible. If there are no parents, then no one.
23. Beer in Germany is very good and there are an incredible variety of it.
24. In Bavaria, a person has the right to drink a glass of beer during the working day.
25. Homeless people often have dogs. They receive additional money for their maintenance.
26. Germans are wary of foreigners. And there is a reason for it.
27. Drawing a swastika or raising your hand in a fascist salute is prohibited by law in Germany.
28. With the introduction of the euro, most prices in Germany doubled. But the standard of living in Germany is still considered one of the highest in the world.
29. In Hamburg, the Hells Angels motorcycle gang gained such influence over local criminals that bikers were legally prohibited from wearing club symbols. Any large convoy of motorcyclists is accompanied by a police truck.
30. Riding a motorcycle without a helmet is prohibited. Strictly.
31. The worst German insults translate to “Ass hole” and “Son of a bitch.”
32. Germans are very attentive to their health and what they eat and drink.
33. The former mayor of Hamburg and the mayor of Berlin are homosexuals. In society, “gay” people are treated almost as if they were the norm.
34. The level of culture of the average German significantly exceeds the level of culture of the average Russian. But, as a rule, the level of education is inferior.
35. Alcohol intoxication is a mitigating circumstance in court. With the exception of traffic precedents and malfeasance.
36. Until recently, German women practically did not use cosmetics. Due to the influx of colorful foreign women, German women began to wear makeup and ceased to be one of the most terrible women in Europe.
37. High heel German women wear it only for “occasional occasions.”
38. Treating the boss at companies is most often on a first-name basis.
39. One of the leaders of the Green Party proposed singing the second verse of the German anthem in Turkish.
40. Organic stores are quite popular. Prices there are on average 30% higher than in a regular store. Organic bananas are smaller than regular bananas, and lemons are indeed much more flavorful.
41. Over-the-knee boots are worn only by prostitutes during working hours and foreign women, those who haven’t figured it out yet and those who don’t care.
42. An offer to drink a cup of coffee together in the evening from a German often means an invitation to sex.
43. In Germany there are fewer women than men.
44. The Germans are sure that the most popular Russian toast sounds like “To your health!” It is useless to persuade.
45. Christmas in Germany is celebrated much more significant and brighter than the New Year.
46. A crowded refrigerator in Germany means that you are from Russia.
47. People at the institution may be rude to you. If you pretend that you are about to grab your face, they become very polite.
48. Dogs in Germany are very friendly. It is extremely rare to hear a dog bark.
49. The idea of a multicultural society in Germany failed miserably, Merkel herself was forced to admit this.
50. In Germany, sanitary standards are so high that you can safely eat not only uncooked meat, but also raw meat.
51. In Germany, quite often you can enter a residential building without taking off your shoes.
52. A one-time ticket to the sauna costs just under 20 euros.
53. The cost of prostitute services on the Reeperbahn averages 200 euros per hour.
54. Germans rarely respect non-German beer. Surprisingly, I quite often heard positive reviews from Germans about one Ukrainian manufacturer; I will not indicate the brand of beer, so as not to advertise.
55. Among German women, it is common to view sex as fitness.
56. A bribe to an official in Germany, for example a police officer, usually starts around 50,000 euros. However, in one of the cities where I lived, it was possible to remove a photograph from a traffic machine for only 300 euros.
57. A civil servant in Germany does not pay public taxes and cannot be fired.
58. Most apartments in Germany are equipped with fire detectors. If you overcook something or haven’t closed the door to the shower, it goes off, starting to squeak disgustingly. A naked man swearing and poking the ceiling with a mop is a common sight seen by pets.
59. German women often don’t know how to cook.
60. The “Nationality” column in Germany is determined by citizenship.
61. Germans are surprised at Russians’ ability to pronounce the letters “P” and “Y”
62. The proverb “Without a piece of paper you’re a turd” was apparently invented by the Germans.
63. All business letters in Germany end with the phrase “With friendly greetings.” Even a summons for a fine.
64. The word “Foreigner” in Germany is a dirty word.
65. Germans are usually welcoming and friendly in their communication. But don’t flatter yourself too much, they’re just well-mannered.
66. Married couples Russians and Germans are quite rare, due to too different mentalities. They prefer to remain lovers. That's good.
67. In a café-eatery, leaving a tip for the waiter more than one euro is regarded as a good tip.
68. Germany becomes home to an emigrant when there is a feeling that if you litter on the street, you are littering in your apartment and there is a desire to clean up someone’s trash in a public park.
69. Tattoos and piercings are very popular in Germany. Both among women and among men.
70. In Germany, a popular TV presenter was fired because she said that good autobahns were built under Hitler.
71. In Germany, they are very attentive to how owners treat pets. Even if a blind disabled person mistreats his guide dog, the dog will be taken away from him.
72. Germany is a paradise for those with a sweet tooth. It seems to me that there are no more diverse and beautiful sweets anywhere in the world.
73. Russian grocery products can be bought in almost every large supermarket in Germany.
74. In Germany, I sometimes met men who had never fought in their lives.
75. To go fishing in Germany, you first need to complete the appropriate courses. Where one of the sections will be devoted to how to handle caught fish so that it does not experience unnecessary suffering.
76. One of the most expensive hunting clubs in Germany is the Wolf Hunters Club. The annual fee is around 100,000 euros.
77. A change of workplace often leads a German to a psychotherapist.
78. The reason for not allowing you into a German disco or club may simply be that the security guard didn’t like you. Girls are rarely allowed in. Beautiful girls They are always missed, they serve as bait for visitors. They are often given special cards entitling them to free drinks. A group of young Turks in many cities has virtually no chance of passing. The security guard could be fired for this. There is no smell of Nazism here, it is a justified necessity.
79. Germany goes to bed and gets up very early.
80. You can walk along the zebra crossing across the German road with your eyes closed.
81. The fine for throwing a cigarette butt on the asphalt in Germany is 20 euros.
82. One of the most popular drinks among German bikers is Jackie-Cola, a mixture of Jack Daniels whiskey and Coca-Cola (in no case with Pepsi!)
83. The Germans snack on beer with special rolls with grains of salt, they are called “Pretzel”
84. You get less drunk from draft German beer than from bottled beer. I don’t know why.
85. German cuisine is not distinguished by any special delights. But it’s hearty and substantial, like everything German. Potatoes, cabbage, pork - classics, in general.
86. Considering German women selfish is a misconception. They just love themselves and their life.
87. Everything that is necessary is very cheap in Germany. Everything related to convenience and whims is expensive.
88. The closest ice cream in taste to Soviet ice cream in Germany is at McDonald's.
89. Germans are sentimental and surprisingly romantic.
90. Germans, when communicating with Russian friends, often say “I am a German potato.”
91. The mentality of the Germans is such that they do not get into a fight first. But, if the fight has already begun, they often fight to the last.
92. Unfortunately, there are many pedophiles in Germany. However, in Russia they probably just beat them very painfully. But here it’s impossible. Even planting it is difficult.
93. In Germany, it is normal for a girl and a guy to pay for themselves. If you pay for a girl, this can be seen as unexpected generosity or a claim on her independence.
94. Once an emigrant masters the language, interethnic problems practically disappear.
95. German police, as a rule, are not looking for unnecessary heroism. There are exceptions. But rarely.
96. If I had not taken it upon myself to write these 100 facts, then at the beginning of the second night I would not have been the only one in the apartment building who was still awake at that time.
97. In Germany, getting sick leave for three days is no problem.
98. In Germany, a seasonal disease is common, in Russia it is practically unknown - intestinal flu. If you catch it, hold on... Otherwise, from a low start, it will blow you away.
99. In Germany, the fiercer the chef, the tastier the meat he cooks.
100. When getting a job in Germany, you should remember that the immutable law of developed capitalism begins to operate - “Are you carrying one bag faster than others? Well done! Carry two. Are you carrying two? Great, here's your third one. Can't you? Don't you want to? He’s fired, we don’t need lazy people.”
101. If you have public rather than private health insurance, the wait to see a doctor can last several weeks.
102. When the German list of the most dangerous dog breeds was compiled, not a single German breed was included there, even being ahead of others in the number of unmotivated attacks on humans.
103. A German kneipp is a small beer hall, more like a club, where many middle-aged and older Germans while away their evenings, sometimes staying in the kneipe until nightfall, and the owner practically lives in it. How many interesting stories can you hear there from old regulars, over a glass of beer...
104. In Germany, many people do not smoke. The Germans, as I already said, take care of their health.
105. Mixed couples are very common in Germany. African guys often choose incredibly fat German women. This is tradition. It is a great pride for an African to have a fat wife. This means he is so rich that he can feed her. Well, fat German women, walking next to the ebony handsome man, are quite happy with life and, finally, with themselves.
106. “Mine, mine, mine” - this is very developed in Germany. But it must be said that “Yours - yours - yours” will be respectfully and delicately taken into account and observed. This applies to everything from candy to silence.
107. On many municipal buildings in Germany, menacing eagles have been preserved, clutching shields in their claws, from which the swastika has been neatly knocked off. They say, well, the bird has sat down, now it’s beautiful.
108. German humor comes in two types - black and abstract.
109. In Germany, it is required to separate waste into food and plastic. In fact, in trash bins, most often everything is thrown into one pile. The purpose of this idiocy is to discipline the already disciplined Germans.
110. Duckstein is a German beer with a cognac aroma, aged in an oak barrel. But for some reason it gives me a headache in the morning. Maybe because I'm not German.
111. Well, that's all, applaud me, I spent an hour of my life on this list. And this is also a fact!
According to the German racial theory, carriers of Aryan blood had a biological superiority over other nations. The standard Aryan is different from others in almost everything: height, skin color, hair and eyes, and even body proportions.
Racial ladder
Racial theory is the cornerstone of the foundation of the Third Reich; it actually distinguishes German National Socialism from Italian fascism. For the Nazis, it was fundamental to divide races into “superior” ones, capable of self-organization and progress, and “lower” ones, incapable of anything.
At the top of the hierarchical ladder, according to the German racial doctrine, was the Nordic race (Germans and Scandinavians), followed by the East Baltic, Adriatic and Roman races. It is interesting that the Germans considered the French “degenerate, negroidized, spoiled,” and, as a result, inferior.
Even lower on the racial ladder were mestizos (a cross between white and colored peoples); in the basement itself there was a place for representatives of the “black” (Negroid) and “yellow” (Mongoloid) races. The Nazis disparagingly called the latter, as well as the Slavs, Jews and Gypsies, “untermensch” (“subhumans”).
In July 1941, Reichsführer Heinrich Himmler, speaking to the SS, described the European conflict as “a war of ideologies and a struggle of races.” “On one side stands National Socialism: an ideology based on the values of our Germanic, Nordic blood. On the other side stands a people of 180 million, a mixture of races and peoples whose names are unpronounceable and whose physical essence is such that the only thing that can be done with them is to shoot them without any pity or mercy,” Himmler proclaimed.
"True Aryan"
The Germans often replaced the concepts of the Nordic and Aryan races, although they have differences. The Third Reich borrowed the term “Nordic race” from the book of the French writer Joseph Gobineau “Essay on the Inequality of Human Races” (1855), where the author characterized the Nordic subtype of the white race as fair-haired and blue-eyed people. There, Gobineau argued that it was the “Nordic race” that was the highest stage of human development.
The term “Aryan” was originally used to designate peoples speaking languages of the Indo-Iranian group, and comes from the self-name of the historical peoples of Ancient Iran and Ancient India. This word can be translated into Russian as “respected”, “worthy”, “noble”. The concept of “Aryan” was taken out of its traditional context by German ideologists and used exclusively for the purpose of promoting racial inequality.
The theory of the common Aryan origin of Germans and Iranians is a product of the work of Reich ideologists, primarily Alfred Rosenberg, who on this basis created a coherent picture of history from ancient times to the present: from Aryan India and Persia through Doric Hellas and Italic Rome to “ German Europe." Since 1933, racial theory has become a compulsory subject in schools and universities in Germany.
By a special decree, Iranians were even exempted from “racial” laws. In 1934, in order to emphasize the role of Persia as the ancestral home of the Aryan race, it was officially renamed Iran with the assistance of German diplomacy.
German architects also had a hand in popularizing the myth of the Aryan roots of the Germanic race by designing the National Bank building in Tehran in a neo-Persian style. And the racial administration of the SS seriously considered marriages of German girls with prominent representatives of the military-political and economic elite of Iran in order to “refresh” the blood of the Iranian leadership.
Racial standard
The anthropological, biological aspect is the defining and most obvious one in Nazi racial theory. To express it, the Germans relied on fertile methodological material. In particular, on the works of the Austrian Catholic monk and publicist Adolf Lanz, who divided humanity into two tribes - Aryans and animal people. According to Lanz's views, the Aryans embodied angels, and the ape-men symbolized demons.
There was a place in the ideology of the Reich and the views of the American Egyptologists Gliddon and Nott, who in the book “Types of Humanity” argued that blacks are closer to monkeys than to other human races, as well as the judgments of the Italian doctor Cesare Lombroso, who argued that the skulls of degenerate individuals are different from the skulls of higher beings.
Fascinated by such ideas, Nazi propaganda develops its own racial standard. The media said that true representatives of the Aryan race should have a special skull: with an elongated, convex back of the head, an oblong face, a small forehead, a narrow nose and a slightly angular chin. In the area of the temples, the skull should be narrowed, and the cheekbones should be positioned almost vertically.
As an anthropological and biological sample of a “true Aryan”, a native blue-eyed resident of the northern regions of Germany was taken, who is distinguished by his tall stature (women no less than 170, men no less than 175 cm), light, almost snow-white skin, thick hair, the color of which varies from completely white to golden. It was believed that in those parts of the body where veins appear, the skin has a slightly bluish tint, and should not be harmed by solar radiation.
Aryan men have narrow hips and broad shoulders, female figure“long” parameters predominate, in addition, she should have a narrow neck, arms and refined facial features. U ideal men and women, the arm span should be 94-97% of the body length.
In addition, an Aryan’s weight should be proportional to his height, and his lower back should be at approximately 52-53% of the total body length. The back and legs should be devoid of hair; on other parts of the body, except the head, their manifestations should be weakly expressed. And also - symmetrically set eyes, straight and healthy teeth, lack of susceptibility to hereditary diseases, late puberty and late aging.
New generation
An integral part of Nazi racial theory was eugenics, popularized in Germany under the name racial hygiene. According to this theory, strict rules of reproduction should lead to the improvement of the Germanic race and stop the growth of the lower representatives of the human race, which multiplied much more quickly.
This is how the “Lebensborn” (“source of life”) program appeared in the Third Reich, which was personally led by Heinrich Himmler. The main objective of this program was the preparation of racially pure mothers, as well as the birth and upbringing of healthy children - the future pride of the Aryan nation. Only representatives of elite German units acted as fathers.
The requirements for the parents of the renewed race were strict: impeccable health, no criminal record and purity of blood. Women selected to participate in the program to improve the gene pool were placed in orphanages - “Himmler's baby factories”, where they gave birth and raised children in comfortable conditions. If the children born had hair that was not light enough, they were irradiated with ultraviolet light until the desired shade was obtained.
Soon, Nazi ideologists decided not to limit themselves to mothers from Germany and turned their attention to Norwegian women: blond-haired and blue-eyed Scandinavian women were the best suited for the “production” of purebred Aryans. There is information that Slavic women were also selected for the role of “Aryan mothers”.
Over the entire period of existence of the Lebensborn program, about 8 thousand children were born in Germany, in Norway even more - about 12 thousand. In 1938, Himmler decided that the reproduction of superchildren was going too slowly. A new proposal was made to select
pregnant women with suitable appearance. In exchange for a monetary reward, they were offered to give the babies to the state.
After the end of the war, the women who participated in the Lebensborn program had a hard time. In Germany and Norway they became real outcasts: they were humiliated, beaten, and forced to do the dirtiest work. Norway tried to get rid of children born under the German program by sending them to Germany. But there she disowned them. Sweden accepted several hundred “Norwegian” Aryans, among them the future ABBA soloist Anni-Frid Lyngstad, whose father was an SS sergeant.
How are people living in Germany different? What do they do special?
It's amazing how much the perception of the same event, phenomenon or thing differs even in a small area. This is not without reason - the same cultural values unite people and thus previously helped them survive. The traditions of each region allow people to identify themselves with a certain group, which is extremely important for the human psyche. Differences in traditions, in turn, are incredibly valuable, because they create the unique diversity of our world. You can be angry at the bearers of other principles and customs, or you can show interest in order to understand how everything works for them, and, perhaps, join them.
Efficiency is your middle name.
Working abroad for an international company? Almost certainly all your colleagues hate you. The purebred German solves all his problems in the shortest possible time and plunges the boss into despair, demanding new tasks. Serious attempts to work slower fail - German efficiency is in your genes.
Elevators are a place of silence.
There is an unwritten rule in Germany: you don't look at other people in the elevator and you certainly don't communicate with them. Even if you are riding in an elevator with friends, there is usually an awkward pause that no one dares to break.
You never, ever step on lawns.
Even if you're walking in one of the few parks that doesn't have a lawn sign, you literally feel like a criminal just walking on the grass.
There is only one kind of proper bread.
Doner kebab is your salvation at three in the morning. Used as a hangover preventer. And you are absolutely sure that this is a purely German invention. Integrating immigrants into German culture is not working! Real bread is dark, with a crispy crust and soft inside, this is obvious. White bread, be it baguette or ciabatta, is not the same at all. When you're traveling the world or moving abroad, there's nothing more desirable than traditional German baked goods.
You are every party host's worst nightmare.
If you are invited to a party at 7pm in Spain for example, then as an average German you can probably be found at 6:50pm walking around the block because you don't want to arrive too early. Then the doorbell rings at 6:55 p.m. One hundred percent, the party host will not open the door right away - he is still in the shower and has not even begun to prepare the house for the party.
The expression “about seven” makes you shudder.
It's either 7:00, or 7:05, or 7:10. For you, “about seven” is just an excuse for unpunctual people who cannot manage their lives. Usually you're just angry that you can't be somewhere "around seven" yourself. You will always be there at 6:55. Even though you sent a text with a sincere apology that you'll probably be late, you still arrive at the location at 6:55.
You have strong opinions about beer.
True, it varies greatly depending on the region of birth and in some places is a little like a religion. While in Cologne they prefer to drink Kölsch in 0.2 liter glasses, residents of Bremen drink 0.33 liter Pils at once. Bavarians wouldn't trade their Helles in a liter mug for anything else. Such an approach can lead to serious internal conflicts: when someone from Cologne tries to order a beer in Munich, he will probably be kicked out of the bar faster than a Bavarian can say “Lederhosen”.
Three beers instead of schnitzel.
Beer in Germany is considered food, not alcoholic drink. A Bavarian proverb says: the nutritional value of three glasses of beer is equivalent to a full meal. Drinking one or two glasses during your lunch break and then returning to work is quite natural for you.
You constantly complain about German service.
Are you truly convinced that there is no worse customer service than in Germany. However, once you visit, for example, Hungary or France, upon your return you are ready to kiss every cashier who smiled slightly at you, simply out of gratitude for their friendliness.
Table manners are very important to your parents.
“Don't talk with your mouth full! Sit up straight! Get your elbows off the table!” It's nice to have lunch with your German parents, isn't it?
You are a garbage separation maniac.
You have a lot of trash cans, but you could use an extra one: organic waste, paper, plastic, white glass, green glass, brown glass, regular trash... You think it's absolutely normal to wash out empty yogurt containers before throwing them in the designated trash bin tank.
You're still angry that you had to pay for school.
University education used to be free until some states decided to introduce tuition fees of up to 500 euros per semester. After several years of public protests, it was cancelled. However, these few years cost you one and a half to two thousand euros, which you would have been better off spending on beer and a flat screen TV.
At least one of your student friends is 33 years old.
No, he is not teaching or pursuing a PhD. He takes time to find the right direction in life. To do this, he changed majors from archeology to philosophy, from business studies to Chinese studies. Finally, I found it - studying the history of art of 9th century Uzbekistan. Unfortunately, with the introduction of international bachelor's and master's degrees in Germany, the requirements for passing certain standards have become more stringent, and this lifestyle is becoming less and less common.
You follow the rules of the road.
You will never cross the street at a red traffic light. Never. Even on foot, at night, even if not a single car is visible within a radius of two blocks. The risk of losing your driver's license if caught driving as a pedestrian is too great. Unfortunately, when you are in other countries, you expect other people to show the same respect for red traffic lights. That's how you nearly killed five people during a recent trip to Southeast Asia.
Insurance gives you an absolute feeling of security.
Life insurance, fire insurance, natural disaster insurance, disability insurance, supplemental health insurance, liability insurance, maintenance insurance, accident insurance... admit it, you have at least half of them. You feel so secure with them that you don't mind spending half your salary on things that will probably never happen. God protects those who are careful.
Polite small talk is not for you.
If you work with people of other nationalities, then a conversation while working might go something like this: “Hey, how are you?” - "Fine". - “How was the weekend?” - “What do you want? I don't have time for this! As a rule, you say the last phrase to yourself. It's not that you're a sociopath, it's just that you think time is too valuable to waste on pleasantries. We would not have achieved our economic miracle with idle chatter, after all.
National pride makes you feel uncomfortable.
The Germans are still traumatized by their history. No matter what country you are in, publicly displaying national flags or open displays of patriotism seems strange. And the only time you don't get disapproving glances when mounting a German flag on your balcony is during the World Cup.
A lake or pond is a paradise of your childhood.
Every German city has at least one body of water. Since then, the smell of sunscreen has made you nostalgic for those unforgettable days of carefree fun with friends and ice cream, spent by the water.
You watch The Ninetieth Birthday, or Dinner for One every New Year's Day.
This is a British sketch about an old lady celebrating her birthday. Unfortunately, all her friends are already dead. Luckily, the old lady isn't the brightest, so she doesn't realize that the butler is playing all her friends and ends up completely exhausted. What is the connection with the New Year? No idea. However, don't you care that some German traditions don't make sense.
You're probably bilingual.
You speak your regional dialect and classical German. Considering that there are more than 20 different dialects in Germany, Hoch Deutsch helps you communicate with your fellow German students from other federal states. Otherwise, a Bavarian will not be able to communicate with a Frieslander without an interpreter. After all, these dialects actually belong to two different branches of the German language family.
You've never heard "speed limit" and "road" in the same sentence.
Yes, for the most part there is no speed limit on German motorways. Unfortunately, you're unlikely to ever take advantage of this freedom, because there's always some idiot cruising along at 120 km/h, blocking the left lane.