• The friendship of one reasonable person is more valuable than the friendship of all unreasonable people. (Democritus)
• We grow, we move on, but we will still always be best friends.

The best statuses about good friends

• Do not quickly become a friend, but once you have become one, try to remain one, because it is equally shameful to not have a single friend and to change many friends. (Isocrates)
• A true friend will always tell the truth to your face. Even the most bitter one, which we are not ready to admit.
• True friends do not compete with each other or envy each other, but help and are sincerely happy for each other.
• Statuses about good friends with meaning- A friend is a person with whom I can be sincere. In his presence I can think out loud. (R. Emerson)
• It is a value in our time to have a friend or friends who are not affected by time, weather or distance.

The most important conditions for friendship are trust and respect. These feelings arise gradually and grow stronger over the years of honest relationships. People become friends based on common interests, but not every friendly acquaintance turns into a warm and bright relationship.

Friends in a person's life

It's nice to have a person in your life who will always support and help. A friend is someone whose authority becomes equal to his own. In other words, relationships between people are based on complete trust and the perception of essentially a stranger, which becomes respectful as oneself. Such harmony is achieved only many years after testing for responsiveness and assistance in certain situations.

Loneliness in modern world does not bring positive results. A person without friends becomes a hermit and finds it difficult to take his place in a developed society. Even the most reserved introvert will find it unbearable if there is no one to have a heart-to-heart talk with, explain himself and hear banal words of support and understanding from the outside.

What is a true friend?

According to modern psychologists, the strongest friendships begin in childhood and adolescence. But, as a person grows up, he loses hope that he can trust someone other than himself, and in some cases, himself. Most often, such speculation arises after betrayal by a friend. There are still good people left, and if one betrays you, it does not mean that another will betray you.

After disappointment, it becomes difficult to understand who can be called a true friend. Now people are accustomed to communicating remotely, without opening up to people and keeping all their most secret things to themselves. Such relationships are more like friendships, partnerships, or in the spirit of acquaintances, neighbors, and colleagues. For some, this style makes life easier, for others it complicates it. Remember that some friends or colleagues may become best friends, it's just a matter of time.

How to become a friend?

There are no barriers to true friendship. Those people who know who a friend is confirm this expression with sparkling eyes. It is not easy to become such a person; this will only happen if a person begins to experience sincere good feelings and sympathy. Friends should think for two, worry, sympathize and help in any situation.

Considering all the subtleties and understanding what qualities a friend should have, you should not forget about the other side of the coin. Close people are not only help in a difficult situation, but also sincere joy for a friend when he is successful. As many scientists say, it is much easier to survive grief and support in trouble than not to envy your friend in moments of true happiness.

10 qualities of a friend

It is not so easy to overcome the long journey of life alone. Even the strongest and most confident people definitely need support. Those who claim that they live well and without friends are deeply mistaken, because perhaps they have not yet felt that true and faithful friendship. Psychologists say that there are qualities of a true friend by which one can guess a person’s true intentions.

Negative qualities of a friend

The most terrible quality in friendship is envy. It is with her that a person will never be able to understand who a friend is. Such people only love to sympathize and empathize, but they will not be able to rejoice sincerely. The bad qualities of a friend are also arrogance and temper, selfishness and hypocrisy, and most importantly, cruelty, cowardice and indifference.

How to be a good friend?

Quality friendship does not require any great knowledge. Sincerity and support at any time are the most best qualities in life. Take care of strong friendships from your youth, because time-tested people are practically incapable of betrayal. Understand for yourself who a best friend is, and then you won’t have to make mistakes in people. The main thing, remember, in friendship you need not only to receive, but also to give.

What do you think of when you hear the phrase “best friend”? Surely the image of a person who is incredibly dear and dear to your heart, whom you are always happy to meet, pops up in your thoughts.

What should a true comrade be like?

It is worth identifying the traits that should be present in a best friend:

• Ideally, your closest friend should be a “combination” of an adviser, a teacher, a brother. He is always with you, will not leave you in difficult times, will help you in word and deed.
• He knows everything about you, even your biggest flaws, and still continues to be friends with you. Nothing stops him from being around.
• He should love you for who you are, and only occasionally give advice on how you can be better and more perfect.
• The best friend will never refuse help or betray you in difficult times.
• He values ​​your relationship and values ​​it. He will do everything to make them improve and develop.
• Best friend will never discuss you behind your back, spread gossip about you and give away secrets.

The phrase “best friend” means something different to everyone. Someone wants to see a reflection of themselves in it. In this case, friends should have almost the same characters. Someone chooses as a comrade a completely different person based on their views and behavioral characteristics. Often, lively and cheerful fidgets become friends of quiet people. As you know, opposites attract, complementing each other. A strong-willed and ideological person wants to have a friend and ally who will support all his plans and help in their implementation. A travel enthusiast wants to be friends with an easy-going person who is also interested in travel and extreme sports. Such a comrade must be ready to support the company and decide to take spontaneous actions.

Where to find your best friend?

Most often, best friends are met in childhood. At this time, little people are most open to communication; they do not expect benefits from it. One thing is important to them: they are comfortable with a new acquaintance, does he share interests, does he not offend, does he share toys? During childhood, you can have several best friends. Growing up, kids realize the value of friendship and choose one or at most two comrades to whom they entrust their cherished secrets and dreams. They spend a lot of time together with them, walking, doing various activities that are interesting to both. Most strong friendship happens to classmates who are together during lessons, during breaks, and after classes. In each other's company, they experience various difficulties and gain life experience.

Adolescence brings its own adjustments to friendships. It's time for maximalism. If your best friend does not share the same views or is not completely devoted, the relationship may end. A threat to them may come in the form of admission to different educational institutions after graduation. Unfortunately, this happens often. But if this happened, it means there never was a real friendship.

You can find your best friends at university. In a group or hostel there is always at least one person with whom you can be “on the same wavelength” and attend various events, walk, prepare for classes and, of course, have a heart-to-heart talk about everything in the world.

Work is a place where you can meet a friend. Typically, these are smoother and more stable relationships based on common views on life and mutual respect.

Every time, every moment of life can present a person who will become one of the most important - a best friend. The main thing is to recognize your soul mate in time and preserve this relationship for many years. A true friend is above all wealth. Appreciate him!

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1. Courgette said),

   
   So, no need to rename it yet!

   Regarding the post itself, I won’t argue.

   
   Unfortunately, people often make the wrong choice in favor of friends, sacrificing time that they could spend with their family, flying to help at the first call (because he is my friend, girlfriend, etc.)
   And there are those who selfishly take advantage of this, exploiting without any second thought!

   You have to be adequate, both first and second

   Well, from my own experience I know that bosom friends quietly move away, starting families, children... friendship gradually fades away.
   There are no common interests, there are other priorities - that’s all the “love”, as they say

2. Ptah said),

   Courgette wrote:

   An optimist, IMHO, is not the kind of person who looks at everything through rose-colored glasses; no one stops him from thinking cynically

   
   An optimist is one who does not create illusions, but chooses the positive side of life, being perfectly aware of the existence of the negative.

   Courgette wrote:

   However, it seems to me that there are still examples of selfless friendship

3. Courgette said),

   Ptah wrote:

   Glad you understand the real definition of an optimist

   Well then so what
   Ptah wrote:

   Give me at least one abstract example. Everything you wrote below only confirms my point of view.

   Well, for example, a “friend” calls my friend’s husband on his day off and says that he needs to help him assemble a closet.
   This one drops everything and goes to help, despite the fact that he was going out of town with his family
   His wife is offended, but he goes anyway because he has to help a friend
   HERE is an example from life
   And when he needs help, he does not find it in the person of this same “friend”

4. Ptah said),

   @Courgette:
   

   The friend who calls shamelessly takes advantage of his friend, although he could easily assemble this cabinet on his own. So?
   On the part of your friend’s husband, I only see complete dependence on stereotypes (because he must to help his friend) and a disregard for his wife (is there any love left?).

5. Courgette said),

   Ptah wrote:

   @Courgette:
   great example. Where do you see selflessness here?
   The friend who calls shamelessly takes advantage of his friend, although he could easily assemble this cabinet on his own. So?

   Yes, that’s what I wrote about. That this person has complete and naked self-interest

   On the part of your friend’s husband, I only see complete dependence on stereotypes (because he should help his friend) and a disregard for his wife (is there still love left?).

   and this one is selfless
   a person dependent on stereotypes who does not want to set priorities correctly
   There seems to be love, it’s just that the person is not decisive, driven

6. Ptah said),

   @Courgette:
   that's what I'm talking about. The weak are always ruled by the stronger. And in “friendship” it’s exactly the same.

7. said),

   I don’t quite understand about love and friendship (blonde), I only have two friends - witnesses. Somehow, even through my fault, we quarreled for 2 years because I was rude. (You can’t give me too much to drink). And I don't have any more friends.
   I believe in friendship not only in trouble, but also in joy. And in joy, people often envy. That's why I only have friends. But honestly, I'm not upset about it. I always have enough communication. Moreover, my character is quite tolerable, no one seems to have any special complaints...

8. Ptah said),

   @Olga M.:
   what do not you understand? If you have found your other half, then there can be no “real friends”. There is simply no time left for them.

9. said),

   @Ptah:strange, but what about fishing with friends, mushroom picking, going to the bathhouse? Do men now spend all their free time only with their family? I will not believe.

10. Ptah said),

    @Olga M.:
    These are not friends, these are buddies. Going fishing with friends once a month is normal. “Friend” is when at three o’clock in the morning, at the first call, etc. and so on.

11. said),

    @Ptah:
    Agree with you! My beloved is my best friend! I enjoy relaxing with him, working with him, and just chatting about nothing. There are, of course, sisters, girlfriends, classmates, and just pleasant acquaintances. But I spend much less time with them. They will not replace my communication with my loved one!

12. Ptah said),

    @Nadyusha:
    exactly. “True friendship” with someone else is a kind of indicator of the sincerity of feelings in the family

13. said),

    I also support that an optimist is not one who is happy about everything. An optimist is someone who sees something good in everything bad. But this does not prevent him from criticizing anything or expressing his dissatisfaction. A striking example is Edward Murphy and his famous “Murphy’s Laws”.

    And on the friendship line, I slightly disagree. selfless is meant without implying financial gain.
    And in general, I believe that there is nothing wrong with refusing a friend in a certain situation. As, for example, with borrowing money if you don’t have it yourself. I think that this will not stop him being your friend.
    A friend is someone who will understand and support in any situation.

    If we think like this, then we have nothing selfless at all. Even when helping another person, we always want something in return (i.e. we do this out of selfishness), some need money, others just thank you.

14. Ptah said),

    @ Funny:
    “will understand and support in any situation” is a true statement. Does he need it?

    There is nothing selfless about us, that's just the way it is. I think so and even once about it.

15. Courgette said),

    Funny wrote:

    Even when helping another person, we always want something in return (i.e. we do this out of selfishness), some need money, others just thank you.

    You answered it yourself
    Everyone always needs something: either “money”, or “thank you”, or something else)
    The key word is not “thank you”, but NEED
    According to Kostya, all people are selfish, it’s just that some are able to admit it, and others are not.

16. Ptah said),

    @Courgette:
    yeah there's nothing wrong with that. Even the Bible says “love your neighbor as yourself“.

17. Courgette said),

    Ptah wrote:

    @Courgette:
    yeah there's nothing wrong with that. Even the Bible says “love your neighbor as yourself.”

    And I say that this is bad? :) Not at all!

18. said),

    The example of borrowing money from a friend is quite interesting. The one who borrows thinks: “He’ll give it, but where will he go, he’s my friend.” The one who borrows: “Damn, I’m already on my last hundred (thousand, million) before payday. But he’s my friend, I need help.” And then it begins. The one who lent it doesn’t remind you of the debt - after all, it’s inconvenient, a friend, but the one who has already taken it and forgot seems to have to pay it back. And if he remembers, he thinks: “Nothing, he’ll wait. A friend will understand.” Is this friendship?
    It turns out that concepts are replaced and we say “friend” when it is convenient or beneficial for us? Whatever you say, true friends and real friendship- very rare. But I know that they exist. I just know and believe.

19. Ptah said),

    @Observer:
    You can believe it, of course. My son also believes in Santa Claus
    But that doesn't make it any more real.

    And with money I stick to my friends worldly wisdom: “If you want to lose a friend, lend him a loan.”
    Therefore, if I give money to someone, it is for good. So that no one suffers later

20. said),

    @Ptah:
    My faith is also supported by knowledge and experience of some kind in everyday life. Maybe a fate awaits her, like with Santa Claus, in whom people stop believing sooner or later. But for now I believe...

21. Ptah said),

    @Observer:
    some call it idealism

22. said),

    “The Diary of a Cynic” is too much, but the diary of a “skeptic” would be quite suitable. On the merits of the question, you are certainly right; friendships often fall apart as soon as self-interest gets involved in these relationships. Personally, I have few friends, and I value their attitude, but I never borrow money from them.

23. Ptah said),

    @kupena:
    yes, no, a skeptic is a doubting nature, but I don’t doubt anything. Unlike skeptics, I have an established view of the world. But a cynic is a person who rejects social norms and rules. This is a little closer to me, it seems to me
    About friends, you think that you have friends. What does this concept mean to you? What are you putting into it?
    And what is your friendship?

24. said),

    Kostya, you are a real cynic!
    
    
    

25. said),

    I'll still argue.
    

    I absolutely disagree with the second conclusion. Spending time together does not mean that it has to be 24 hours a day. You can see each other rarely, but still remain best friends. And you can see friends and family, why immediately steal time from your family?

26. said),

    I have one and only friend, we have been friends for many years. We don’t ask each other to borrow money, we don’t baffle each other with problems, we don’t call for help at 3 a.m. Each of us is sure that in a certain situation we will help the other, but we never use it. We just live with this confidence. We take care of relationships. We see each other infrequently (family, children, work).

    There is a parable where two inseparable friends were imprisoned and starved. They waited to see who would be the first to renounce friendship. After some time, they released them and began to admire their friendship, to which they replied: “We remained faithful only to our principles. And we would have betrayed each other on the very first day of testing. The harsh truth of life is that only for the sake of one’s own principles, and not for the sake of friends, a person is able to withstand any torture. Our friendship lies only in the similarity of principles"

27. said),

    
    

28. said),

    Yesterday something happened to the equipment, I thought the comment wasn’t posted at all. No, here, but not all of it. Of course, there is friendship. We just treat it wrong. A win-win option is friendship between spouses, but not everyone is so lucky. We believe that being a friend means he must... Or “December 31, my friends and I go to the bathhouse” - the key words here are “December 31” and “bathhouse”. My husband is such a “friend”. No, without friendship a person would feel bad. And friendship is not a surrogate for love, but love itself probably exists, only without sex.
    It’s okay that you become cynical; with age, many people turn into cynics, but not everyone is ready to admit it.

29. said),
30. Ptah said),

    @Meoni:
    A stereotype is a general misconception presented as truth. Don't confuse the concepts. In your relationship with your friend, she takes advantage of you; there can be no talk of any mutual unselfishness. Either one uses it or the other.
    Family friendship is generally a myth. This is a friendly relationship, but not friendly.
    That's why. no matter what you call them “friends”, they won’t become them. Their own interests will always be more important than yours.

31. Ptah said),

    @ Tatiana:
    The fact of the matter is that people invented “friendship” for themselves in order to get away from problems, so that someone would help, in order to be away from their family. After all, there is always a grandiose excuse - “he is my friend, I have to.”

32. Ptah said),

    Tatiana wrote:

    A friend is ready to give in to you - a place in the boat and a circle... There is such a song
    And the second friend will graciously accept this, or what? Interesting…
    withstand any torture. Our friendship lies only in the similarity of principles"

    This song has always puzzled me

    So, if my friend liked a girl who I like, I kind of have to leave? Is this the law???
    The nonsense of Soviet poets...

33. Ptah said),

    p_krysa wrote:

    I'll still argue.
    After all, the one who sits on these crackers and cries in a tavern, doesn’t he do it selflessly? And this is not some kind of masochism at all. Is it not possible to sympathize and help a person for whom you feel sympathy, without expecting anything from him in return? Yes, even if we don’t talk about friendship, haven’t you ever wanted to help a person completely unselfishly? So why not do it for the person you like?
    I absolutely disagree with the second conclusion. Spending time together does not mean that it has to be 24 hours a day. You can see each other rarely, but still remain best friends. And you can see friends and family, why immediately steal time from your family?

    I'll repeat it again. Of course, you can help unselfishly if you feel sorry for the person, etc. But the one who comes to cry shamelessly uses another person to solve his problems. This is not friendship - this is a free vest rental.

34. Ptah said),

    osminog wrote:

    Kostya, you are a real cynic!
    Only a non-optimist could sort out the image of a “friend” in such a way! Yes, friends come and go every year, and with a change of place of residence, work.... and with age... But, if I want to call a person a Friend, then I will do so, regardless of and without relying on those dogmas (and you are right in your article) that you are talking about. I will be guided not by cold calculations, but by feelings and my own sensations! And you know, I’m not afraid to make a mistake or later lose this person’s company, because I Live and feel! And I really like the manifestations of my feelings, which means I’m still capable, I’m not completely hardened yet.
    Yes, we often choose between family and friends, and this is inevitable, such is life. I was also worried about this. Now I have a lot of acquaintances and friends, with them I go fishing, and get together, and a lot of other events, but I don’t have a friend...if I base my thoughts on you.
    Thank you for the relevant topic! :)

35. said),

    Yeah, self-interest, if you think about it this way, exists in all relationships and actions! So maybe you can stop seeing self-interest in everyone who communicates with you? Maybe you should relax and live full breasts? Or is callousness the norm?

36. Ptah said),

    @osminog:
    umm... What does callousness have to do with it? I feel and live the way I want. But only for yourself and your family, and not for anyone else. I wish the same for you.

37. said),
38. Ptah said),

    @Meoni:
    everything you described is called mutual selfish use of each other. Friendship is needed only for mutual help and support, everything else is called love.

    And then, where did you even see me write anything other than my own opinion?

    And let's not get too personal, okay?
    If you run out of arguments, just don’t write anything.

39. Ptah said),

    Meoni wrote:

    Let's take career and family, for example. What is more important to you? I can assume that family. Does this really mean that a career is not important to you at all or that it does not exist at all, similar to friendship according to your logic? Some things are naturally more important, some things are less important, but still important.

    A career is a means to make money. There is no way she could be more important than family. And it cannot be compared in any way with the “selfless” relationships of “friends”

40. said),

    @Ptah:
    where did I get personal? What arguments have I run out of?
    “Friendship is needed only for mutual assistance and support” - what kind of friendship is that? According to you, it doesn’t exist.
    “Friendship is needed only for mutual assistance and support, everything else is called love.” - What do you think is love then? Selfless use of each other?) And love, then, is not needed for mutual help and support?

    You wrote in the post “Try to argue.” I try, and you start to get angry again. I’m again faced with the question: is it worth saying something on your blog if I don’t agree with your statements? I didn’t seem to insult anyone, didn’t humiliate anyone, didn’t swear. You react very sharply to arguments, I just don’t want to get on your nerves once again, so I simply skip a lot of posts if I can’t say “yes, I think so too.” But then I thought, since he himself allowed it, he said, try to argue, then you can take a risk. Apparently it's not worth more? Or what irritates you so much? I sincerely want to understand that we do not quarrel in the comments. Or did they mean “Just try to argue, you’ll get banned for a week”?)

41. Ptah said),

    @Meoni:
    Please re-read your comments carefully if it is not immediately clear.

    You wrote in the post “Try to argue.” I try, and you start to get angry again.

    Don't wishful thinking. That's exactly your style of arguing.

    “Friendship is needed only for mutual assistance and support” - what kind of friendship is that? According to you, it doesn’t exist

    I'm talking about a concept whose definition is in dictionaries.
    Love is also mutual use of each other. Don't you understand this yet? It will come, in time.

42. Ptah said),
43. said),

    @Ptah:
    judging by your words, you, not me, did not understand this, otherwise I would not have pointed it out. Well, in general, it’s clear that it’s a deadlock situation, I won’t even try to establish contact further. It is useless to try to do this with a person who considers only his own opinion to be correct, and when he reaches a dead end, he begins to butt heads. All the best.

44. Ptah said),

    @Meoni:
    judging by your words, you didn’t understand this, not me
    Isn't this getting personal?
    "Contact"??? What are YOU even talking about? I just asked for arguments.

45. said),

    Konstantin, in a nutshell I cannot describe what friend and friendship mean to me. But I don’t want to lose these people, I want to always have the opportunity to call, hear a voice, sometimes meet, talk. Will you say that this is self-interest? Maybe. I have a blog post on the topic of friendship.

46. said),

    @Ptah:
    You are confusing using a person in a “so-called friendship” with genuine friendships. A friend, if he is truly real, will not abuse other people's time. Wouldn't you rush to help a friend if you know he's in trouble, even if he doesn't ask you to?

47. Ptah said),

    @p_krysa:
    you see, there is a logical problem here. You can rush to help a friend, even if he doesn’t ask for it. But why is it being done? Just? Nothing in this life is done for nothing. This is the law of conservation of energy.
    If you do good, you do it to obtain some benefit (no matter how cynical it may sound) either in this world or in the next. what after life. Philanthropists are the biggest egoists.
    And then I wrote that I allow “sincere friendships,” but exclusively as a replacement for family ones. Sublimation of love, so to speak.

48. Ptah said),

    @kupena:
    Key words: “so that I always have the opportunity.” Yes, this can be called self-interest, in principle.

49. said),

    @Ptah:
    So what is the benefit then, I don’t understand?! If you give up everything you are doing, you experience certain inconveniences in order to help a person... To sit and then think to yourself how good you are? Or so that your conscience doesn’t torment you later? - nonsense. You just run and don’t think about anything...
    As for sublimation, a person’s feelings, in my opinion, are much more multifaceted. In life there is a place for love, and for friendship, and for kindred feelings, and for a favorite activity. All this can complement each other perfectly and not contradict at all.

50. Ptah said),

    @p_krysa:
    “To sit and then think to yourself how good you are? Or so that your conscience doesn’t torment you later?”
    you speak the truth.
    Or another option is to be “good”. “After all, helping friends is good”
    “In life there is a place for love, and for friendship, and for kindred feelings” - there certainly is a place. There just isn’t enough time for everything. And if you don’t give in completely. So this is no longer friendship, but friendly relations.

51. said),

    @Ptah:
    And the option: “Because he is a good person” doesn’t work? All people are different, you shouldn’t say that there are no such people if you don’t meet them on your way every day
    With reasonable planning, time can be enough for much more than it seems. At the same time, I wrote that it is not at all necessary to communicate with a friend from morning to night, you can generally be far from each other and always remember that the person is your true friend and appreciate it . Time spent together and the concept of friendship are in no way related to each other. This doesn't mean that if I start spending all my time with a friend, he will automatically become a friend. What is important here is the commonality of interests, views, characters, etc.

52. Ptah said),

    @p_krysa:
    Perhaps the misunderstanding occurs due to different perceptions of the concept of “friend”. I have many people with whom fate has connected me and with whom I have common interests and they are all very good people. But we live in different cities and I cannot call them my friends.
    However, if we meet them again, I will be happy to spend time with them. Because it makes me happy.

53. said),

    People understand the word “friend” very differently. Those who grew up listening to the song “A friend won’t leave you in trouble, won’t ask for too much, that’s what a true, faithful friend means” - have a completely different attitude towards friendship than those who were born twenty years later.
    Now the word egoist no longer has the deeply negative meaning that it used to have. Now we can talk about self-love as the basis of well-being in general, but they instilled in us “Think about your Motherland first, and then about yourself.” A mutually beneficial relationship is cooperation, not friendship. For me. But this does not mean that others do not have the right to think differently.

54. Ptah said),

    Svetlana wrote:

    For me. But this does not mean that others do not have the right to think differently.

    Gold words

55. Ptah said),

    Svetlana wrote:

    Both right and wrong... a true friend will not go too far, will not take more time than expected, will not impose his problems...
    Why not look at life more simply?!

    Believe me, hardly anyone looks at life easier than I do
    Have you found such a true friend? Congratulations. But I have never met such people. And I know a lot of good people

56. said),

    @Ptah:
    You speak for yourself, that you cannot call these people your friends. But this does not mean that the friendship you are talking about does not exist in principle. She’s just not in your life, not yet, or family and friends are enough for you, it doesn’t matter. It just happened that way for you personally.

57. Ptah said),

    @p_krysa:
    but don’t we draw conclusions about the surrounding reality based only on our experience? I think everyone does this.

58. said),

    @Ptah:
    If other people have examples to the contrary, then this is a reason to reconsider your conclusions. You won’t claim that something doesn’t exist based solely on the fact that you have never personally encountered it. Moreover, here we are talking not so much about the surrounding reality, which is the same for everyone, but about feelings and sensations, and they are different for everyone, and, therefore, different.

59. Ptah said),

    But again, this is just what I believe. I'm not trying to force anyone to live my way, because it's impossible.

60. said),

    @Ptah:
    Those. Don’t you believe in germs because you can’t see them? :))) I’ll definitely read the link

61. Ptah said),

    @p_krysa:
    and I saw them through a microscope.

62. said),

    @Ptah:
    Damn, that's lucky :)) So, there are only those microorganisms that you personally have seen?
    You can, of course, then reject all scientific achievements, but they won’t get away from it.

63. said),
64. Ptah said),

    @p_krysa:
    I do not refute something that has nothing to do with me personally. I don't care about these achievements

65. Ptah said),

    zlatakrona wrote:

    A friend is just a FRIEND, and you accept him. Whatever it is. But to crush is not to manipulate, let or sit on the neck. And also a true friend - he always believes in you and your future. Not that you will be friends with him forever, but in the future.

    Why does he need this? I believe in the future, for example, V.V. Putin, but this is why I don’t become his friend

66. said),

    @Ptah:
    You don't care about them, but that doesn't make them cease to exist. So it is with friendship.

67. Ptah said),

    @p_krysa:
    yeah, as well as UFOs, Yeti and other superstitions

68. said),

    I do not agree that there is no selfless friendship. With this statement you turn the very essence of friendship on its head. Don't you have any friends as such? Well, those who are really friends for you. And if you consider your friends, just like yourself, to be selfish, then this reminds me primary school. “You can write off Misha, I’ll be friends with him. But Olya won’t let me write it off, I won’t be friends with her.”

    And drink beer in a pub or borrow money unscheduled. Or stock up on dry vests - Lord, what little things these are...

    Yes, and we must not forget that each person has his own unique value system.

    I apologize if I seemed rude.

69. Ptah said),

    @Andrey Sorvin:
    What is the essence of friendship? What's not small for you? What do you need friends for?

    Yes, I have no friends. I have a lot of friends and good acquaintances with whom I sometimes enjoy spending time.
    There are people whom I can turn to at any time and I know that they will not refuse. But these are not friends.

70. said),

    @Ptah:
    The point? Probably the key word is “unselfishness”. It was correctly noted that this is the key one.
    Not small things? I don't know. With a friend, everything probably seems trivial. All problems are solvable. And even if not, then these are also trifles.
    Why friends? Again, I don't know and never thought about it. Not even to have someone to rely on, but just like that. Maybe we're soulmates, maybe we're not. I can’t specifically answer why I need friends.

71. Ptah said),

    @Andrey Sorvin:
    general phrases and no specifics.
    There are no selfless actions in principle. Here's my opinion. Everything else is idealism and wishful thinking.

72. said),

    @Ptah:
    Similar. If you saw green devils with your own eyes, this does not mean that they exist, most likely you just had a lot of fun. And, on the contrary, if there is significant evidence of their existence, then you will have to come to terms with their existence. But just like this, there are eyewitnesses above the roof, but not a single “evidence”. Science always looks at evidence in its entirety.
    Well, returning to the topic of conversation, we are talking here not about objects, but about feelings. And they are different for everyone. Some people are in awe of kittens, others of cars.

73. said),

    In principle, I agree that there is no such thing as selfless friendship. I just don’t see anything wrong with this. Man, as they said, is a social being and therefore always seeks benefit in everything, even in love! But you need to remember that if you demand something as a friend, then be ready to give it back with the same rights! And if this becomes a burden for you, break off the relationship and all problems will be solved!
    but with your second conclusion: “If there is love, there can be no friendship.” I do not agree! This can be easily solved by making your other half a friend of your friends (sorry for the tautology)! And here the first law comes into effect: “on the basis of friendship” and “a friend cannot refuse”! and in general, your first and best friend should be your spouse! Otherwise, it’s not love, but mutually beneficial coexistence! :)

74. Ptah said),

    @Yana:
    1. This is exactly the idea I’m trying to convey.
    2. Are you talking about the Swedish family?

75. Ptah said),

    @p_krysa:
    let's stop here

76. said),

    @Ptah:
    Agree. In the end, you offered to argue

77. Ptah said),

    @p_krysa:
    Friend is a rather subtle concept.

    PS I understand that it is difficult to reject your own experience and personal worldview and accept a different point of view, but still, maybe you can give a link to a post where you were finally convinced?? (well, I’m just terribly curious, is this real?)

78. Ptah said),

    @Svava:
    I am old enough to have developed a stable worldview. Therefore, it is unlikely that such a post exists

79. said),

    @Svava:
    On this issue I completely agree with the author, and I have something to compare with. Not yesterday I came away from the potty. I have also been talking about friendship for a long time on the pages of my various blogs. And I’ll be honest, it’s a pity that I’m not in the same city with you. I just really like to prove. Usually, when I was in a city and a person began to argue that he had friends who would always support and who would always help, I offered him experience. Fortunately, I have a lot of friends in all walks of life. I proposed a check, namely, serious problems with the authorities or with gangster groups. Of course, not real ones, I just asked people I knew from these “elements” to cause supposed problems. And you know, all my friends disappeared instantly. Therefore, based on my fairly extensive experience, from the experience of many people, from my checks, I can be convinced that disinterested friendship does not exist, just as friends will not come to the rescue. If even one of my experiments fails, I will believe that such things happen. But at the moment I have seen a lot of betrayal, among people who eat from the same dishes, sleep in the same bed, and when problems arise, they melt like snow.

80. Swava said),

    @Legion:
    Well, I don’t even know, it’s just some kind of extreme sport, let’s get recognition from friends at gunpoint, there are exactly two results:
    1. a friend disappears - this is your experience and views confirmed
    2. a friend doesn’t renounce even in such a situation, he’s great, there’s a monument to him... and a place in a mental hospital, because everyone has their own threshold of sensitivity, and this is less relevant to the concept of friendship... let’s not drive everyone under bandits in order to find out about sincerity of friendship...

81. Swava said),

    oops, I messed up, I wrote “tsya” wrong, I was in a hurry

82. said),

    I’ll say right away that I don’t like to argue and I won’t))). It took more than one cup of tea to read all the comments and I’ll just add my portion of flood to the general collection.
    In my life position on this matter, I largely agree with the author of the blog. And there were friends and they seemed to be unselfish, and there was someone to come to if something happened at 4 o’clock in the morning, but she acted within the limits of reason. Then a husband appeared, friends had families, and everyone was friends, but problems were first discussed at home, and decisions were made at home. And if someone needs help, then first the two of us will decide what we are doing. And in general, I don’t have any friends closer than my husband, and never had any).

83. said),

    Konstantin, I now agree with you on everything. After spending my vacation in the company of friends, I realized that I was very mistaken about them... It’s good to meet with friends occasionally, and not spend hand in hand all day long, otherwise very unsightly aspects will emerge. I’m ready to give up this kind of “friendship” at any moment now. It's better to be alone. I endured with all my might so as not to be upset by their attacks and oddities! And all because I am a non-conflict person. I just drew conclusions and will try to gradually withdraw myself so that they clearly do not understand my disappointment...

84. Ptah said),

    @Antonina:
    In general, our impressions are the same
    @Olga M.:
    oh yes, living together is more sobering than ever. I encountered this myself when I was on vacation with friends in the same cottage in Crimea

85. said),
86. said),

    I believe in friendship, but only between same-sex creatures... Although it is rare here too. But between a man and a woman, I don’t believe it. I checked it on myself more than once. In any case, regular communication with an interesting and attractive young man gradually turns into affection, and then sex is just around the corner...

87. said),

    The funny thing is that in LJ the word in my interests was cynic - now I saw you and smiled)))

88. Ptah said),

    @ Vika:
    But I think that it doesn’t matter what gender those who are trying to “be friends” are. In any case, relationships exist only if they are beneficial to at least one of the parties. And this is no longer friendship.
    @Larisenok:
    Are you interested in cynics?

89. said),

    she's a cynic herself

90. said),

    I completely agree! That's right, friendship is a selfless relationship!!! and you shouldn’t expect anything in return from friendship... or rather, you can expect it, but under no circumstances should you reproach a person for something that, in your opinion, he doesn’t give you!
    I have an acquaintance who does not believe in friendship at all, and this is not at all surprising, because, as it turned out later, he made too high demands on his friends, believed that they owed him everything...
    Value your relationships with friends, take care of them!

91. Ptah said),

    @ Olga:
    The fact of the matter is that unselfish relationships do not exist, this was the point of my article, but apparently everyone finds something of their own in it

92. said),

    Very interesting article, there is something to think about)
    Somehow, since childhood, I believed that friendship is something pure, bright and selfless, the older I get, the more I understand that it is mutual benefit.. =(

93. Ptah said),

    @Mila:
    I want to believe that with age we get smarter, and not fall into insanity

94. Olga said),

    The best friend is myself! “Take me to the train!” I ask my friends. “Of course!” friends say. And they bring it, and thanks to them. But going by bus turned out to be 10 times cheaper!” Give me an injection,” friends ask. I give them an injection. They say “Thank you.” Why does it cost 1000 rubles to take me to the train, but not at all to give me an injection. Yes because we are friends! That's why I have only one friend - myself! I won’t stab myself in the back, I’ll consult with myself, Somewhere we’ll cry together, somewhere we’ll rejoice together. There is no envy, anger, or selfishness between us. No, I'm not crazy, not insane. I enjoy communicating and maintain friendly relations! But next time I’ll go by bus and still give the injection, thank you! This is the best reward from “friends”!

95. said),

    And why, if you’re a friend, then immediately ask for help, you can go to a cafe with a friend, go to a barbecue, in general, come up with common entertainment. Here everyone wins, no one is obliged to anyone. But if the friendship is real, then providing help is not a problem.

96. Ptah said),

    Elena wrote:

    And why, if you’re a friend, then immediately ask for help, you can go to a cafe with a friend, go to a barbecue, in general, come up with common entertainment.

    Have you asked a friend if he wants to go to a cafe? Or go to a barbecue? The problem with friendship is that it does not imply doubt or lack of desire to do something. For example, you invite a friend to go to a barbecue, but he suddenly refuses (well, he has no desire, who knows) and you just leave it? Just agree and say “okay, I’ll spend time alone then”?
    I doubt something...

97. Alex said),

    A friend is one soul living in two bodies. (Aristotle)
    - A true friend is someone whom I would trust in everything concerning me more than myself. (M. de Montaigne.)

98. Ptah said),

    @Alex:
    don’t feel sorry for me, I don’t need it. Better give your arguments in defense of your opinion. Banal quotes from the Internet do not prove anything.

→Who is a best friend?

This question is very philosophical, and the answers are very varied, but I will answer it as I think. As they say, “How many people, so many opinions.”

A best friend is a person you can trust like yourself, and on whom you can completely rely. There are many friends in our life. But the best friend, there cannot be very many of them, he is either one or there are several of them. Friendship is built primarily on mutual trust, but not all people can trust each other so much.

First of all, the word “friendship” has not one, but several different meanings. And not only in our time. Two thousand years ago, this was discovered by Aristotle, who tried to define different types of friendship in order to distinguish true friendship among them. He distinguishes mainly between friendship based on interest and noble friendship, which alone deserves the right to be considered real. Therefore, even in Ancient Greece the relationship between two business people was perceived not as friendship, but as an interest in the success of a common business. At that time, friendship between politicians was also often seen as a way to achieve success in politics.

So, if we briefly list the most common meanings of this word, we will see that in most cases the word “friendship” has little in common with our ideas about a real friend.

Meaning one: acquaintances. Most of the people we consider our friends are actually just our acquaintances, that is, those whom we distinguish from the faceless mass around us. We know their concerns, their problems, we consider them people close to us, we turn to them for help and we ourselves willingly help them. We have excellent relations with them. But there is no full revelation, we do not trust them with our deepest desires. Meeting them does not make us happy, does not cause us an involuntary joyful smile. If success comes to them, if they receive some kind of reward or unexpected luck falls on them, we do not rejoice for them as for ourselves; Many relationships of this type are mixed with gossip, envy, and enmity. Deep conflicts are often hidden behind seemingly cordial relationships. Of course, these are not strangers to us; there is a certain closeness between us. But why call such different types of relationships friendship? This is a misuse of the word. It was so in the past, and it continues to be so now.

Meaning two: collective solidarity. It is necessary to distinguish, as the ancients did, friendship from solidarity. In the latter case, friends are those who fight on our side, say, during a war. On the one hand, friends, on the other, enemies. There is nothing personal in such solidarity. The man wearing the same uniform as me is a friend, but I know nothing about him. This category also includes forms of solidarity that exist in sects, parties, and churches. Christians call each other brothers or friends, socialists - comrades, fascists - comrades. But in all these cases we are dealing with collective rather than purely personal relationships.

The third meaning: functional relationships. They belong to the type of personal connections based on social function. Here we encounter "utilitarian" friendship; such is the friendship between companions or between politicians. In this type of relationship there is a minimum of love, they last as long as there is interest that requires common care. This also includes numerous professional relationships, relationships between work colleagues and between housemates.

Fourth meaning: sympathy and friendliness. We finally come to the category of people with whom we feel good, who are pleasant to us, and whom we admire. But even in this case, the word friendship should be used very carefully. Such emotional connections often superficial and short-lived.

What, then, do we mean by the word “friendship”? Intuitively, it evokes in us an idea of ​​a feeling that is deep, honest, presupposing trust and frankness. Empirical research also shows that the vast majority of people imagine friendship this way. In his latest book, Reisman, having studied the vast material written on this topic, gave the following definition of friendship: “A friend is one who takes pleasure in doing good to another, and who believes that this other has the same feelings for him.” This definition by Reisman places friendship among altruistic, sincere feelings.

There are very few true friends these days. We are not used to trusting anyone one hundred percent.