Ecology of life. Psychology: In principle, there is nothing extreme in this desire. Nature dictates that the female chooses the strongest male

“I want a strong man! To feel like behind a stone wall. There are so many men around, but they are weak. And I need a strong one! Where can I find one like that?

Many women want to see a strong man next to them. And at the same time they sigh sadly, because even if there is a man nearby, he does not live up to the role of a strong man.

They begin taking courses on how to attract strong men, how to be weak next to the strong, and so on.

As someone who likes to dig deep, I decided to look into the root of the desire to be with a strong man.

In principle, there is nothing extreme in this desire. It is inherent in nature that the female chooses the strongest male in order to give birth to good offspring.

But this is in animal nature. But for people everything is much more complicated.

As a rule, a woman who wants to be with a strong man dreams of him taming her, showing his strength, dominating, demonstrating that he is in charge. And she will finally accept his power and will humbly submit to the power of a strong male.

If you remove the flair of romance, then in reality this situation looks like this. A Taming the Shrew relationship is like a boxing ring. Each person in the pair takes his own corner in the ring and, on the command “Fight,” goes to the center to fight his opponent. Punching, brutality, fighting until someone runs away or falls. Then the partners again go to the corners, gain strength and begin to fight again.

I would like to emphasize that when a man gains power over a woman in such a not very pleasant way and proves that he is strong, the woman does not calm down. She does not submit or accept her partner's power. She begins a fierce battle for power. She needs to “make” the enemy, even if it is her beloved man. And she will fight this battle until she “does” him. And this can continue indefinitely. Because offended man will try to take revenge and regain power. And when he achieves this, the woman will try to get power back. Do you feel what a vicious circle is emerging?

And this is called a relationship with a strong man.

A woman is looking for a strong opponent with whom she can fight to the fullest.

Therefore, the weak are not suitable. The weak usually mean those who do not like to fight and fight. Or those who immediately give up because they cannot or do not want to fight with their partner.

The essence of such a relationship is not so much to defeat your partner, but to fight. Being in a struggle is the goal of such a relationship. Well, winning is nice too. Let it come at the expense of humiliating the dignity of another person. These are little things that are not paid attention to in such relationships.

A woman looking for a strong man can only be in one form of relationship - fighting. And no matter what she says, other relationships are impossible for her - care, support, intimacy, and so on. They seem boring and insipid to her.

As a rule, if a woman is surrounded by men who by nature do not want to fight with her, then she views them as “the wrong men.” Believes they are not good enough for her. And continues to look for the strong.

The struggle for power continues constantly. And every day in such a relationship is like another round in the boxing ring.

If the man wins, the woman becomes the victim. She bends, submits, accepts her partner’s power over her and completely surrenders to the man, losing the opportunity to manage her life.

With this option, a woman may outwardly lose her attractiveness, gain excess weight, and stop taking care of herself the way she once did. Sometimes there is a craving for alcohol. She feels unhappy. At the same time, “We have a happy family” will be played for everyone else. She feels like a hostage to a situation with no way to get support. Loneliness, isolation, life according to a schedule. The inability to live life to the fullest, to realize your goals and dreams. And then the woman realizes the goals and dreams that others dictate to her. For example, having children, buying cars and apartments with a mortgage, doing what needs to be done. Sometimes she will have breakdowns and again there will be a power struggle. After such a battle, the woman either returns to her usual role or switches roles with the man.

If a woman wins, then the man becomes the victim. It is he who bends, submits and gives himself into the power of the woman. And then the woman controls his life. Makes decisions for him. The man becomes weak, defeated. The woman treats him with disdain, believing that he is not able to cope with life and problems on his own.

She is somewhat irritated, but still solves his problems. She is the head of the family. And she talks about it, complaining that she didn’t get the best the best option men are weaklings. But somewhere there is a real man- strong and brave...

What can happen to a man? Alcohol, career failures, other women, gambling (or computer games), in short - any way to escape from reality. The same one in which he, an adult man, turned into a helpless baby in the arms of his woman.

Sometimes he can just take it and leave. And it’s especially painful to see him with someone else if in that relationship he achieves success, money, recognition. If he is not a weakling, but a normal man with ambitions.

After all, against this background you especially feel your inadequacy.

Women sometimes continue their battle with a man, even if the relationship no longer exists. “One day he will see me, beautiful and awesome, and understand WHAT he lost!” - says such a woman, continuing to fight with the man, although a lot of time has passed since the separation.

There is no place for anything normal in this eternal battle. There is only pain, resentment, loneliness, disappointment, loss of strength and energy.

Unfortunately, leaving the battle is not so easy. This is a life scenario. And for now - the only one possible for a woman. She doesn't know the others.

In fact, she is fighting not only with a man. She fights everyone. It divides the world into strong and weak. And being weak is unacceptable for her. She does not know how to ask for help and support and always relies only on herself in everything.

She has the illusion that successful man- this is strong. One who has a lot of power and controls others, albeit through struggle and violence. It is not so important.

And somewhere inside herself she dreams of such a person. And this is exactly what she means when she says that she wants a strong man next to her.

It's actually just a scenario from her childhood. When she was small, weak and defenseless. And unconsciously she again wants to feel small and weak next to the strong.

But the paradox is precisely that she cannot be weak, otherwise the world will destroy her.

A woman strives for what is inaccessible to her. And she is torn by this duality: on the one hand, she wants to be close to a strong partner with a weak girl; on the other hand, you can’t be weak, it’s dangerous.

And this internal struggle between two opposites deprives us of strength most of all.

Therefore, women who live their whole lives in struggle lose their beauty, health and other delights of life.

And against this background, the innocent desire to be close to a strong man does not look so innocent. After all, in essence this is a very destructive model of life.

Still want a strong man next to you? Do you want to fight and don't know how to stop? published

There is no woman who would not dream of a strong man. Representatives of the fair sex want to forget about problems, worries and finally relax, leaning on a strong and reliable man's shoulder. the site offers to consider all the pros and cons of living with a strong man.

A strong man is active and decisive, and his persistence is impossible to resist. He easily takes responsibility for you and your children, emerges victorious from the most difficult situations, with him you don’t have to worry about the material side of life and just be a weak woman.

But are the women who managed to become the legal wives of these delightful macho men so lucky? Is life really easy and cloudless with strong men?

Unfortunately, what looks sweet and romantic during courtship is... family life can become a complex problem. In some situations, the much-loved advantages of your beloved “strong man” turn into terrible disadvantages, which you also have to learn to live with.

From responsibility to despotism

Reliable man

Relationship

Anya dreamed all her life of marrying a strong man. And she was lucky to meet just such a person. Soon after weddings Alexey said that Anya should quit her job because he earns good money, and a woman should not strain herself. Anya liked this kind of care, and she quit without regret. At first, the girl enjoyed the arrangement of her life and raising children.

When the children grew up, Anya became bored, realizing that she really wanted to realize her ambitions. She told her husband that she was thinking about returning to work. Alexey's indignation knew no bounds: “You offend me very much. Are you not happy with me and am I not satisfying your needs? If you're bored, let's have another child." Anya had to forget about her career plans under the threat of a break in the relationship.

A strong man surrounds a woman with care and attention. He does everything so that she does not need anything. And, therefore, if a wife shows independence in raising money or making career plans, he perceives this as a personal insult.

A strong man considers himself the head and breadwinner in the family, so he perceives your attempts at self-realization as a lack of faith in him. masculine qualities. All this leads to the fact that the wife is gradually deprived of not only the opportunity to work, but also to study, communicate with friends and have fun without her husband.

This is exactly what happened with Lena. She lives in a luxurious house, from which she almost never leaves. The husband gets very tired at work and therefore does not accept any social life. However, he also prohibits Lena from meeting her friends and attending cultural events. He believes that he gives his wife everything she wants, and considers her communication with her friends unnecessary. When do they go to rest, her husband does not allow her to leave the hotel without him. Since sights and excursions do not interest him, the family hangs out on the beach all day long without any opportunity to have fun. In order not to quarrel with her husband, Lena leads a double life: she secretly meets with friends and carefully hides from her husband her studies at the correspondence department of the institute. She is constantly afraid that her husband will find out her secret.

Sometimes a strong man does not mind his wife working. But in this case, he is trying in every possible way to belittle the value of her work. Masha faced a similar situation. My husband bought her a small one business and now he constantly laughs at Masha’s attempts to make money. He believes that such work is a good toy for a bored woman, nothing more.

On the other hand, there is a special type of strong men - perfectionists. They try in every possible way to make an ideal out of their wife. Such a husband forces his wife to study and work exactly where it is prestigious, only so that she meets his high standards, and he could boast about her among his friends and business partners.

The woman actually finds herself “behind a stone wall”, which separates her from the outside world and her own desires. At best, she feels infantile and dependent, and at worst, depressed and sick. Such mental anguish can result in real illnesses.

Lack of self-expression and freedom turns into a protracted depression, allergies, endless headaches, etc. It turns out that a woman pays with her freedom for the opportunity to be weak.

Paradoxical desires

About responsibility

Relationship

Nastya liked that Oleg took full responsibility for solving all everyday and material problems. When the couple started home repairs, Oleg did everything himself: from choosing building materials to buying curtains. Nastya also wanted to participate in setting up the house, but her husband did not give her any chance. Everything should be just the way Oleg wants - he didn’t even entrust the choice of carpet and dishes to his wife.

Soon Nastya realized that Oleg decides EVERYTHING in their family: where to go on vacation, who to invite to visit, where the children should study and how to spend the weekend. Oleg constantly demanded from Nastya an account of what she was doing, and became angry if she did not pick up the phone on time. Nastya increasingly felt depressed and dependent; all she could do was obey her husband’s will.

This is back side responsibility self confidence and active life position. A strong man believes that only he knows how and what needs to be done, he is sure that he is absolutely right, and in order for everything to work out as planned, the process must be controlled.

Often his hyper-responsibility turns into obsessive control, and even despotism. And the whole point is his confidence that if he takes up a task, he will see it through to the end and no one will cope with it better than himself.

A woman in such a situation feels absolutely dependent on her husband; she is offended that her opinion and desires are not taken into account.

A strong character

One day, Olya, seeing how her husband could not solve a serious problem for the second hour, tried to give him advice. In response, she heard an irritated monologue about the role of a woman in a man’s life. “I myself know what to do and don’t need anyone’s advice!”- he finished his angry tirade.

Unfortunately, reverse side a strong character may become unwilling to listen to the opinions of other people. The ability to stand up for oneself and fighting qualities turn into conflict and irritability.

Any expression of one’s own opinion can become a serious test for a wife and develop into a conflict. The same goes for children. The man is the boss of the house, period.

How to improve relationships

Submission or struggle?

Relationship

Often women living with strong men face just such a problem. What tactics should you choose to save your relationship and yourself?

On the one hand, strong man demands complete submission from a woman, providing her with protection, care and the opportunity to be weak in exchange for submission. But the paradox is that by demanding submission and having achieved it, a man loses interest in such a woman, and sometimes stops respecting her altogether.

If a woman begins to challenge his influence and resist, endless conflicts begin in the family, which turn two strong personalities into enemies, and in most cases lead to divorce.

Women are also not consistent. On the one hand, they want to be weak and completely trust a man. On the other hand, they are tired of constantly obeying and depending on a man, they want to show their power and original nature.

At the same time, when a man allows them to do this, they complain that he is weak. It turns out that a strong man does not give us the opportunity to express ourselves, and a weak man prevents us from relaxing and feeling like just women.

A paradoxical situation arises from which there is no clear way out. So, what to do if you live with a strong man and experience both the pros and cons of his active nature?

The most important thing in such cases is to learn to protect your personal space and live life to the fullest, while maintaining a good relationship with her husband, and all the advantages of a weak woman. So:

Forget about fighting for your rights and blind submission, both of these ways are not effective.

Learn to interest your husband in your desires, to make him understand why he needs it. For example, Tanya, whose husband was against her work, did the following.

She told him that she loved him very much and appreciated the fact that he protected her from all sorts of everyday storms. And that it is thanks to his care that she can afford to do exactly what she likes.

She also assured her husband that her work would not interfere with the family, and the children would love and respect their mother even more for her successes, and he himself could be proud of her.

Protect your interests. Learn to explain what and why you don’t like, and what you really want. Give reasons for your point of view.

Who is he, a Strong Man in a woman’s life?

There are almost no strong men. The earth does not give birth to them. And if she gives birth, it is with great efforts. Such attempts give birth to twins or triplets. And it’s like the first birth. Therefore, “these” are born one per several hundred square kilometers, once every tens of years.

Like a concentrate of great power. When you cut an onion, it’s hard not to cry. When you open a powerful medicine, it seems like poison. Anything that is strong immediately strikes you on the spot, and only then, after a while, its benefits are visible. People don’t want something strong, people want something “sweet”, and if it’s bitter, then to taste, so as not to overdo it. A strong man is real, he is bitter.

Such men are always inappropriate and always not to your liking. They come to change EVERYTHING, to fill everything with the force that moves them. They are irrepressible, seem arrogant, but do not belong to themselves. They are extremely inconvenient, too hard and intractable to be loved.

It's hard to love them, and it's even harder to maintain love for them. It seems that they are doing everything to make love crash on their shores. But that's not true. Instead of complex words, tender feelings, poetry and champagne, they take and immediately make life. In one fell swoop, one decision. Finally and irrevocably.

Because of their determination and their inconvenience, many of them do not live to old age. Strong men in any situation immediately go on "you", get into trouble, run into the barrel of a gun. They leave this life without regret and without words of farewell, in English.

A real strong man in a woman's life

In general, women get little of them. They are very independent, restless and short-lived.

And if they get it, they scoop it all up into their bosom, closer to their heart, in one big handful, and never let go. Never.

They lodge it in their chest. And a woman can languish in this cage like a bird. Or... It will become his second heart and will beat with his, male, in unison.

She won't have a chance not to love him. He will not allow himself to be rejected. Both painful and scary. And she is next to him, either believes in him as God and loves him... Or she is afraid and hates him fiercely.

She can only surrender to his power or betray him. He himself will not leave her or betray her. Such men do not betray. The weak betray.

They are not looking for a woman for comfort, they do not need housewives and do not need princesses.

They look for their destiny in a woman. They want to fulfill their destiny through a woman. This is the great meaning of their life. And she, along with the children and all her luggage, will be carried either in her arms or on his hump, as God will command.

And if she betrays herself, he will not lay a finger on her or insult her. He will leave barefoot and naked. And the next day he will cut out a piece of the heart with a hot iron and will not let anyone in there for another 20 years. And then it’s up to fate to decide.

It is difficult for the earth to give birth to a fetus with the name Strong Man.

It’s hard for a woman to accept this gift. He doesn’t choose beautiful girls, he doesn’t choose super smart girls, he chooses the one who can overcome his fate and take the difficult cross from his hands, or at least can hold on to it.

Loving a strong man. What does a woman sacrifice?

If a strong man appears in the life of a woman, the most ordinary woman, she has to forget about many things.

There will be no bliss, relaxation and bliss. There will be no eternal shopping, manicures and makeup, even if he has a million in his pocket. There will be a difficult, complicated path. Famous faces, shop windows, millions of beauties will flash in life. And there will be no time to stop, admire and bask in the rays of the sun and glory. No need.

If a woman appears next to a strong man, she is not his wife yet. She will become his wife when she meets him at three in the morning from a difficult trip. She will be his wife when she wants to bear him children - not for her own pleasure, but so that there will be children in his life from her love. She will become a wife when she unconditionally goes where other people need him.

She may accidentally become the president's wife and live happily ever after in a prosperous marriage. She may suddenly turn out to be the wife of a businessman, and in the morning - a Decembrist and a convict. She won't have to choose her fate. She will choose only once - him. And he will choose her fate himself, his own.

Decisive. Solid. Confident. Stubborn. Capable of the most heroic things in life.

And at the same time... Unadapted to small joys. Unhappy in everyday life and leisure. Often awkward in love and simple-minded in matters of image and fashion.

This is a strong man in a woman's life. I don’t know if it’s desirable!

What a pity that the earth does not give birth to such men now. Or maybe she doesn’t give birth, because such people turn the world upside down, change destinies, and turn rivers back.

With them, oh, how restless and difficult it is!

You have to choose: Easy and happy, and most importantly sweet. Or it hurts, in attempts, sometimes bitterly, but for real.

Apart from the prevailing stereotype that men love girls, football, cars, they are much more complex creatures. For example, if a woman tends to show most of her feelings in public, be it tears or laughter, then men keep most of their feelings to themselves and do not show it to others. Men are more private individuals than women.

But with all this, every man is unique and no one is the same, although in different situations their actions are similar. Sometimes they can be very cruel, and sometimes too soft, and treat women differently. It is precisely these differences that are studied by male psychology.

Often girls do not understand the behavior of guys, and then a completely logical question arises: how to understand a man and build a balanced and healthy relationship with him. To do this, we will tell you some features of male psychology.

It's no secret that girls and boys differ in appearance, body structure, thinking and outlook on the world. It’s not for nothing that they say that women are from Venus and men are from Mars. It can be difficult for women to understand a man, especially if he is emotionally reserved. For a man, emotional restraint is quite normal, because since childhood he has always been taught that he is a man and should be strong and not show his pain. Therefore, it is often very difficult for a woman to understand a man.

In order to understand the psychology of men as deeply as possible, it is necessary to return to their childhood and pay attention to how today’s men were raised.

Psychology of men says that from childhood, boys are not interested in dolls with dresses and games of daughter-mother, but in completely different things. They like to climb roofs, trees, and make things out of wood. They are interested in how a homemade bomb, firecracker, etc. is made. More often than girls, they scratch themselves, fall, tear their knees, break their arms and legs. Since childhood, boys love everything to be specific, clear and precise. They like concrete actions, not reasoning. From childhood, boys strive for success and self-realization.

And somewhere in the depths of their consciousness they understand that they need to build, conquer, strive for the best, establish themselves, and force others to respect themselves. Self-respect is very important for guys important point in the formation of personality. If he is respected, then he is worth something, but if not, then the boy begins to develop complexes. Without self-respect and the respect of friends and family, a guy cannot even please a girl, since he has no inner core, and he does not know what his own dignity is. Guys tend to constantly prove to themselves and everyone else that he is the most, the most...

But, like girls, boys sometimes want to be naughty, whine, and cry. I want to be hugged and comforted, caressed, and done something nice. In any case, men, like women, need moral and psychological support, which childhood his mother provided him with assistance. In adult life this responsibility falls on the shoulders of the girl or wife. How a man adapts to the world around him, how he will realize himself, build, buy, conquer, etc. depends on this.

In psychology, it is common to compare men with dogs (except for the fact of fidelity), since there are some psychological similarities. And you will see this for yourself now.

Firstly, despite the fact that men can be rude and tough, they really love affection and attention. They love to be warmed up on the chest, to be praised. Dogs, when their owner comes home, rush to him, wag their tail, and wait to be petted and patted. Likewise, when men come home from work, they expect their wife to meet them, hug them, and kiss them. It happens that they come with a salary, gifts, or they have some achievements. They tell their wife and wait for her to praise him.

Dogs love to follow the commands and orders of their owners. The same goes for men, they will gladly fulfill any request of their wife, the main thing is that this request is feasible, simple, specific and understandable. It also needs to be repeated not once or twice, but many, many times. Don't assume that a man will figure out what he needs to do.

Dogs love to play with various toys. Likewise, men love “toys.” For them it could be computer games, sport games, even fishing. If they are not allowed to play, they quickly age, become dull and fat, just like dogs.

Dogs love their kennel, and they like to lie there, and no one touches them there. They do not like leashes, especially short ones. The psychology of men shows that in this respect men are very similar to dogs. Men also like to be alone in their free time from work or just lie on the couch. Men, like dogs, also do not like short leashes. They don’t like to constantly give reports: where they were, who they went with, what they spent the money on, etc.

Well, the most basic thing is that men, like dogs, love to eat delicious food. For a dog, this is his favorite bone, and for a man, this is a delicious lunch.

How to win a man?

For many girls, the question arises - how to win a man with all his eccentricity? We'll show you some tricks, but don't forget that every situation is not a standard situation, and your twist is always welcome.

Before you start winning a man’s heart, think carefully about whether you need him at all. Find out through your friends how he “breathes and lives.” This won't be too difficult, especially if you have mutual friends. If not, then you can look at his page on social network. If everything you have learned about it suits you, and you have not changed your mind, then you can proceed to the main actions.

The most important thing in this matter is your individuality and your zest. You should not forget about this, as men immediately feel pretense. Make him "hunt" you. But be careful not to overdo it. When men see that a girl is not at all criminal, they lose interest in hunting.

To make this hunt interesting for both him and you, create intrigue. Make him think about how to please you. There is no one single way here. It all depends on the situation, on him and you. So it's better to rely on intuition.

Men love it when a girl can be different in different situations. For example, with friends she is talkative, cheerful, laughing, or, on the contrary, modest and shy. You can play in contrast: at first burst into laughter, and then suddenly become sad. The main thing is to be near him so that he notices this change in behavior. This will open up a conversation where you can show your vulnerability. And if at the same time you show him that only he lifts your spirits, then his sympathy for you is guaranteed.

You also need to show him that you can listen. To do this, you can go to the cinema or some other entertainment place and play the role of an attentive listener. This way you can decide for yourself whether he is interesting to you, or whether his conversations are boring and unpleasant for you. If this turns out to be the case, then you can stop at this stage of the relationship and no one will be hurt.

Another point that you shouldn’t forget is that the way to any man is through his stomach. And indeed it is. All men love tasty and satisfying food. Therefore, if you know how to cook deliciously, take advantage of it. If not, then learn it as a matter of urgency.

The most important thing in all this intrigue is not to overdo it, otherwise the guy may get scared and eventually run away.

In addition to the relationship between a man and a woman, there is psychology of relationships between men. These relationships are the basis of our society, since basically, whatever one may say, men, be it work, friends, communicate mainly with men. And the atmosphere of society depends on how their relationship develops. Relationships between men can be formal and informal.

Let's talk about formal relationships between men. This type of relationship includes relationships between men and colleagues - men, work partners, friends. Due to their character and nature, men, when communicating with each other, try to show that they are worth something, that they are strong and confident. Therefore, when they communicate with each other, most often they do not show their real feelings and emotions. But any man will still try to get to know his interlocutor better.

Psychology of men all relationships between men are divided into 3 types:

• rivalry;
• male friendship;
• informal relationships;

Rivalry can also be of a different nature. Rivalry can happen at work. Such competition most often has a positive effect on a man. This gives a reason to learn something new and hitherto unknown. It is also a good incentive.

Another type of competition between men is competition for a woman. For the loser, this fight becomes a reason for depression, loss of interest in what is happening around him, decreased self-esteem, etc.

Male friendship can't compare to female friendship. Male friendships are less common and more difficult to form. But if it does form, it will last for many years. If a man has a true friend, then for his sake he will do anything, no matter what the cost. The only thing a man will not forgive from his friend is betrayal and a formal attitude towards himself.

And another type of relationship between men is a love relationship. In most cases, such relationships are met with hostility by society, and, in the end, lead to collapse, rupture of relationships, and disturbance of mental balance.

Psychology of men in love

This is also a very interesting and educational side of men's lives. By understanding it, you will be able to understand a man in situations in which his behavior will seem strange to you. There is nothing complicated about this, you just need to always remember that men are different from women.

How does a man choose a woman for himself?

Any man first of all looks at a girl’s appearance and checks whether she meets his internal standards of a girl’s beauty. And if she approaches, then only then does he pay attention to her inner world.

When the stage of acquaintance and mutual declaration of love passes, that very period of love begins. For men, this period means only one thing - he has already chosen a woman for himself, and now he will strive to please her, and at the same time look closely at whether she is suitable for the role of wife and mother of his future children. At this stage, the girl’s culinary and economic skills are important. Men like the house to be cozy and clean, but at the same time for their woman to look good. If a woman does not take care of herself, sooner or later this will lead to a break in the relationship.

Psychology of men in relationships, be it love, friendship or work, in any case depends on the second person and how they get along. In romantic relationships, men seek respect and support in addition to love, and in friendships, men seek trust.

Sometimes a very strong man with powerful solar energy appears in a woman’s life. And it’s easy to feel even with your back, a woman’s body fully responds to it, her thoughts calm down, and the center of femininity, the uterus, is filled with warm and radiant vibrations of life and tenderness...
Next to such a man, even the most active and dynamic woman with a daring character becomes a little chick, the whole bouquet of feminine qualities suddenly awakens in her, she suddenly wants to cook for him, take care of him, clean the house, wait for him from work and maybe for the first time in her body consciously sounds “I want a child from this man.”

Usually it is with this man that she begins to understand the true pleasure of sexual intimacy, she feels everything especially brightly and strongly, femininity awakens in her on a hormonal level. She likes his smell, his body, his look and voice...
Next to him she may feel stupid and weak, but this does not bother her at all, but on the contrary makes her smile at herself and realize how nice it is to be weak sometimes.

Next to him, she doesn’t want to argue, prove, compare her intellect with him, for the first time in her life she wants to obey!
Several of my clients told me the following thing: “He can sometimes put me firmly in my place, but I don’t feel any humiliation, I feel great that he is so strong and even a little tough. I feel his power!

The woman begins to blossom in this relationship, realizing the power of this man and harmonizing through it. She begins to love not with her mind, but with her whole feminine being. Moreover, outwardly it may be absolutely not her type, not the same level of intelligence, not the same level spiritual development, completely different... perhaps not even beautiful, but simply strong, courageous and decisive, next to whom her heart awakens to love. As my friend says about such a man in her life, “When you look at him, he’s scary! The face is so simple, simple. Well, he's a tractor driver! Only in an expensive shirt. And I love him and feel that he is my man..." 😉

And then (after a day / week / year of dating him) most women make the same mistake: they begin to adapt to these men, serve, try to please him... they get stuck in him!
Completely, up to your ears! And then the questions begin: “What did I do wrong?”, “Darling, what didn’t you like?”, “Darling, is everything okay?” etc.
“What to serve? What to bring? What can I change in myself for your sake?”

A woman is capable of anything to keep him. She feels that she is not internally ready for such a relationship, she herself has not yet matured, and she tries to compensate for her internal unpreparedness through external self-improvement, because losing is incredibly scary...
If you look deeper, she doesn’t even need him, but the state of awakened nature that she feels, which overwhelms her.
Maybe for the first time in her entire life, and only next to him, she felt like a woman!
How can you let this go?

And then hyper-efforts begin in an attempt to be the best, to fit in, to deserve... which alienates the man more and more.
And in the end, he leaves.

In most cases, such men appear in a woman’s life and leave to show her how not yet ready she is for a strong and mature relationship. After all, he needs not a slave, not a maid, but a woman who can be filled and with whose love he can be filled!

After he leaves, pain remains, the unbearable pain of returning to another reality, where you no longer feel 100% like a woman, where these strong hands and a confident look where you cannot relax and feel...
Now the woman is doing everything to get away from this pain. But believe me, it is better to live your whole life with pain, which moves you forward and develops, than to live without pain, but also without love.
Pain means you have been given MORE energy of some kind than your current reserve can accommodate. And instead of expanding their reserve, women simply try to remove this energy from their lives, not realizing that by doing this they are harming their development.

Some women are trying to win back these men through fasting, prayers and austerities, which only aggravates the situation. In this case, all austerities, fasts and rituals act simply like magic. A woman without powerful, revealed energy will need to perform austerities for several months in order to attract him again even for a day. But then he will leave again, because the lesson has not been completed...
I won’t even write about love spells, because the fate of those women who try to master a man through magic is terrible!

I'm not joking, but I'm warning you!!! So that your house of marriage in the horoscope does not close at all from fortune tellers, witches and gypsies, you need to stay 5-10 meters away! Venus is very spoiled by magic, the house of marriage and relationships may completely close. Look at fortune tellers and witches - they are hereditarily single women. A man comes into their life only to give a child. Then he either dies or leaves. Therefore, Lord lead you away from such people.

Other women try to cut it off from themselves, and go to energy specialists and healers to be cleansed of this connection that does not leave the head, heart and uterus... Which does not want to leave.

But it will be incredibly difficult to cut off this man from yourself, it will be he who dreams, appears in a crowd of people, it will seem that he is about to appear somewhere, come out from somewhere, every phone call and every SMS will make the woman shudder with anticipation...

It is such a man who brings the most powerful lesson of love and development into a woman’s life.

Such a man comes and shows a woman what she can be, how feminine she is, how much strength she has...
He teaches her to live in harmony with her nature, and he also lets her see and feel how much love she has!
After all, it is his woman who begins to love from the very first days of their communication... It is for him that she has not passion, not infatuation, but love, and she feels it with her whole being...
And that's why it hurts so much when he leaves.

If there was or is such a man in your life, then you are lucky and unlucky at the same time.

Lucky because few people in life encounter true love, and you were given the gift of loving deeply, truly, with all your heart, with all your feminine being, with every cell of your body. And when a woman loves, nothing is impossible for her! This love continues to live in you throughout your life, it fills your life with meaning. Moreover, when a woman remembers with love and gratitude the experience that she had with this man, then automatically on a subtle level she is harmonized, her energy is leveled, she remembers her femininity, her nature...
And if you make up your mind, gain courage and begin to reveal yourself, allow, expand your boundaries, if you come to terms with the loss of this man, but at the same time remain happy and full of unconditional love for him - you can be together, and this union will be incredibly powerful.

No luck because with this man you will be put through the most severe stress, with him you will be pulled out to a completely different level of feeling life.
And every new energy transition is always pain, crisis and depression.
Every time you become attached to it, they will take it away from you.
You will be relentlessly taught to live happily and freely, without attachment.
You will be taught emotional maturity and unconditional love all the time!

But the happiness that you will experience from this relationship cannot be compared with any other experiences in life, the love that will fill your heart will make your life full of meaning and divinity!

This man is teaching you to be a woman!
He showed you how you can love and feel - now your task is to maintain it.

If you want to be with him, then you don’t need to learn how to scrub a house and cook food, you don’t need to learn to be worthy of him in your mind!
You need to discover love and a sense of drive from life, happiness from within.
You just need to become a woman in the full sense of the word, real, feeling, emotional and able to let go.
And when you can calmly refuse him, but at the same time maintain love in your heart and joy from life, when you can be with him and not lose your head from euphoria, be calm and internally joyful - then you can stay with him!
Then life will bring you together again.

With other men it will be easier, simpler, but with this it will be difficult, sometimes painful, but you will live, feel life and you will be filled with love.

If there was such a man in your life:
Learn to be grateful to him, because it is these men who lead us to knowledge, to teachers, to God! Even through pain, but now we understand that it’s worth it, right?

Don't think about it and don't try to forget, just cultivate yourself and your strength.

When you learn to love yourself and be happy, your pain will go away by itself, and your relationship with him will either move to a new level or stop bothering you!

Why do we fall for such men?
Because they are strong in a masculine way, they are realized in their nature, and this makes them incredibly attractive. But the same process happens with a woman: when she opens up in her nature, when she comprehends her depth, when she has learned to love and maintain freedom, then she becomes magnetically charming, and she no longer sticks to men, but builds relationships according to the principle of energetic equality.

Nowadays, most women are driven by the desire to own a man, but with a strong man this will not work, just as with strong woman. In general, energetically strong people cannot be owned; you can only interact with them on the principle of merging energies.

Therefore, give up the desire to possess this man, thank him for what he has discovered in you!
Pain will live in your heart only until you give up the desire to own it.
As my teacher says in this case, “You were given a beautiful canary, its singing awakens your heart to love, and you come up and say, “Oh, what a wonderful canary, let me eat it!”

Throw away the pain and let love fill you again! Not the kind of selfish love that gloatingly says, “You will still be mine,” but the kind that gently whispers, “God, thank you for sending me this person and opening love in my heart! Now I can feel it!”

No matter what man you live with now, no matter who surrounds you, still, learn love every day, and if there is a person who awakens it in you, be filled with it!
Even if you are already married and your heart still flutters for another man, do not throw away love.
Just don't focus on the man, take the feelings he gave you and share with your spouse.

We enter into relationships not because of people, but because of their energy and the states that we experience next to them.
Live in a state of love and gratitude, and God will take care of the rest!

First of all, let’s decide with you who you need to keep close to you, and who it’s better to let go right away, without wasting precious time and energy. To do this, use our three simple rules.

Rule #1: Take your time!

It is no secret that a woman in love tends to idealize her lover. Under the pressure of male charm and a cocktail of raging hormones, we all lose our heads and do not notice his shortcomings. But he is not ideal, and very soon, what seemed unnoticed and even cute will literally become terribly annoying. Therefore, try not to make plans for the future with a man earlier than six months into your relationship with him. If you believe research, this is exactly how much time our endocrine system needs to get used to the hormonal explosion caused by an overabundance of love feelings.

Rule #2: Be honest with yourself

So, after about 6 months, your relationship will have become a little stronger, you will know each other well enough, and your hormones will have subsided - it’s time to think about the future. This is the perfect time to ask yourself a simple question: “Do I want to be with this man for the rest of my life?” If in response to it butterflies flutter in your stomach, and images of your joint children, then move on to the next point. If you don’t experience anything like this, then reconsider your relationship; it’s quite possible that it has long outlived its usefulness. Just be honest with yourself. Your happiness depends on it!

Rule #3: Make sure there is reciprocity

The third rule is the most important condition for joint happy life. Therefore, you need to make sure that your and his views on relationships completely coincide. In other words, you must be sure that you are together solely out of mutual pure love, and not because you have been seeking his attention for a long time and he is simply comfortable with you. How to understand that the feelings are mutual? Just trust your intuition and analyze your relationship a little. It is advisable to do this while alone with your thoughts. You can also additionally resort to a simple exercise: divide a sheet of paper into two columns and write down in them everything that each of you brings to your relationship. Ideally, both columns should become approximately the same size. A significant advantage goes in one direction - this is a reason to think about harmonizing your relationship with your loved one.

If you are sure that this man is the love of your life, then the matter remains small. You need to make sure that your lover comes to the same conclusion. It is advisable to do this carefully and unnoticed, otherwise men are gentle and timid creatures, and they must certainly be prepared for “happily ever after.” And you need to prepare in such a way that until the end of his days he is sure that he himself made the fateful decision to make you his wife. And I was right.

Fear has big eyes: how to keep a man in a relationship

Now that the presence of a prince is beyond doubt, it’s time to talk about how to keep a man next to you, preferably for life. And to do this, you first need to understand why modern men are in no hurry to part with their bachelor status even when they already have a wonderful and, most importantly, beloved woman next to them.

As cliché as it may sound, it’s all about fear. Fear Serious relationships- a fairly strong psychological barrier that can be very difficult for a man to cross alone. It can manifest itself in completely different ways. For example, in cheerful revelry and constant change sexual partners. Or he may be “hiding” in a civil marriage that lasts for decades without a stamp in his passport. There are also cases when this same fear forces men to even break off relations with their love, so as not to move to a new stage of the relationship.

Reasons for men's fear of serious relationships

One of the main reasons for such fear is a bad experience. In other words, unhappy love. Therefore, it would be useful to ask young man whether there was something similar in his life and how he survived this mental wound. If the breakup occurred relatively recently, then you should not rush into the rapid development of your relationship.

In addition, fear of a serious relationship in men may arise due to a distorted idea of family life. For example, if a man has already had an unsuccessful marriage or his parents/friends/relatives have gone through a painful divorce. In this case, he may literally believe that marriage destroys the relationship and will not strive to create it. Your main task will be to destroy this illusion. It is very important to show your loved one that a marriage relationship depends on the mutual efforts of two people, and can be very happy.

The idea of ​​a cheerful single life imposed by advertising and the media completes our triad of the main reasons for the fear of serious relationships in men. We are talking about an artificially created and so attractive playboy lifestyle: lots of girlfriends, no obligations, fun and no responsibility. If this is the reason, then your task is to show your loved one another world. A world of mutual love and harmony in which you can achieve true happiness. How to do it? They will come to the rescue simple tips, which you will find below.

It's time to move on to practical advice that will help you realize your dream of a happy life together with your lover. But keep in mind that they only work if your love feelings with a man are mutual, and the relationship develops. Let’s immediately say that their implementation will require good willpower and sometimes self-sacrifice from you. Therefore, be ready to work on yourself for the benefit of your love. And remember that you can’t keep a man with a child, or blackmail, or money. Only mutual love and respect can make a couple happy for life!

What is the difference between a beloved woman and a mistress or wife? The fact that she skillfully combines both of these roles. And she also knows how to be a close friend, a cheerful girlfriend, a caring mother, a sympathetic sister, a fair critic, a loyal ally for her beloved man... This list can be continued for a long time, but its main meaning is clear - you need to be able to be multifaceted with your loved one. Don't focus on just one role, like the girl he's dating. Guys can go on dates with you for years, but none of them will ever decide to propose to you for one simple reason - you don’t show anything different. Therefore, if you want to keep a man, be ready to cook him borscht, listen to his problems, and look after him when he’s sick. And all this despite the fact that you are “just dating.”

One of the most common women's mistakes- haste in relationships. On the one hand, it’s understandable: age is running out, your friends are all already married, your parents are buzzing about their grandchildren... And you’ve been dating for a long time - it’s definitely time to get married. But having come to this thought, in no case should you put pressure on a man, much less blackmail him. In principle, this advice works at every new stage of a relationship, and not just when it comes to marriage. So never rush! Give your man time to mature for cohabitation/marriage/children. In the meantime, no one forbids you to gently and carefully guide him in the right direction with your affection and care.

There is nothing more boring for a man than a monotonous life with a woman about whom he knows everything. Therefore, cultivate mystery and mystery in yourself. We are talking, first of all, about a variety of hobbies and interests that will help you always remain interesting to your loved one. The ideal option is if some of your hobbies completely coincide or overlap with the interests of your lover.

Also try to surprise your man from time to time. Surprises can be very different: from a new hairstyle and unexpected hair color to the purchase of a certificate for a joint parachute jump. A little hint: for the surprise to be a success, be sure to make sure that your loved one will be happy with it. This can be done carefully through indirect questions to him or his close friends.

Start with the basic - everyday appearance. Once and for all, say a firm “no” to peeling nail polish, disheveled hair and a dirty robe in his presence. By the way, there is nothing wrong with appearing in front of your loved one without makeup. But doing that same makeup/manicure/coloring/epilation while wearing it is absolutely not worth it. Firstly, these are far from the most attractive procedures. And secondly, such activities very often seriously scare men away. Therefore, it is better to let your little beauty secrets remain with you, and your lover will only see the finished result.

Also, take care of your body. Ideally, try to maintain the forms with which you once conquered him. But remember that a couple of extra pounds are not as bad as rough skin and cracked heels. So be sure to take care of yourself! Remember that a well-groomed woman is already a beauty.

Nothing brings a couple together like little ones. family traditions and rituals. Let it start with a simple Sunday tea party in a cozy cafe or a Saturday evening watching your favorite TV series. The main thing is that it becomes truly traditional, and therefore a regular pastime for both of you. Gradually add new joint rituals to your relationship that bring pleasure equally to each of you. And very soon they will become traditions that will bind you even more.

Men don’t like problematic ladies who strive to cry on their shoulders or complain about their bitter fate every time they meet. Everyone doesn't like it. Accept this fact and stay on a positive wave most of the time with your loved one. Firstly, your mother and her friends can cry, but it’s better to spend time with your loved one in something more interesting. And, secondly, by demonstrating an optimistic attitude in a difficult situation, you thereby show the man that he can always count on your common sense and support in difficult times. Well, and thirdly, by stopping complaining in the company of your loved one about all sorts of minor troubles, you automatically become stronger in spirit.

Another factor that repels men is the complete dissolution of a woman. This could be dissolution in a spouse, children, everyday life or work. The worst thing is that by dissolving, a woman loses her boundaries and ceases to be an interesting person. Therefore, no matter how much you like a guy, no matter how much you want to make your loved one the meaning of your life, always remain an integral person. Remember, no man will appreciate such sacrifices. And what’s even worse, at one point they will simply consider you as service personnel, with whom they are so comfortable, but so boring. Well, you already know that men run away from boring women like fire from our advice number three.

Whatever one may say, only caring ones female hands are able to create that unique home comfort that men value so much. Therefore, make every effort to ensure that your shared home becomes a real home for your beloved. Keep the apartment clean, his clothes neat, and be sure to learn how to cook his favorite dishes. For most men, this will be more than enough. And don’t think that we are urging you to plunge headlong into household affairs and forget about your beloved self. Learn to manage your time correctly and then you will be able to accomplish a lot! Including taking care of yourself and meeting with friends.

Criticism of a lover is a dangerous thing. Especially if you criticize harshly and constantly. Believe me, not a single man will tolerate a woman next to him who regularly nags him. Therefore, if you criticize your lover, then try to do it as carefully and constructively as possible. For example, don’t just point out his mistakes, but offer a solution that will help avoid similar negative experiences in the future. Remember that a man will be much more attentive to a calm and reasonable conversation than to emotional hysteria. In addition, having mastered the ability to criticize correctly, you can take an important place as a trusted advisor in the life of a loved one.

This is one of the most important tips on how to keep a man close to you. What do we mean by “giving freedom”? First of all, a man has the ability to make important decisions on his own and the lack of total control on the part of a woman. Learn to trust your lover and don't keep him on a short leash. He should have the opportunity, for example, to watch football with friends without you and your endless calls.

It is also important not to impose your views on life on your loved one and make plans for the future for him. Always remember that your loved one is an adult and accomplished man, capable of making important decisions on his own. And your task is to become faithful to him and loving person, whose opinion he will be ready to listen to, and not his second mother. Therefore, be guided more often by this principle in relationships. And very soon you will personally see its effectiveness!