Does a girl have to get married?- It depends on what exactly she expects from life. All girls need to get married, just some need it earlier, and some later.

In general, every girl has her own idea of ​​marriage. That is, each of them has their own motives and reasons for getting married or not getting married. Which? Of course, you know them, but you can re-read them.

1. All my friends got married.
2. There is a desire to give birth to a baby, but legally, and not “stray.”
3. Eat strong feelings to a person.
4. A great desire to live somewhere, but not at home.
5. The girl grew up without a father, she really lacks the attention of a man, male care.
6. Curiosity kicked in.
7. U young man there is a lot of money.
8. The girl wants to keep her beloved with a stamp in her passport.
9. The girl wants to get married status.
10. Parents and relatives insist on marriage.

Reasons why girls don't want to get married

1. They don't want to cook.
2. They don't want to clean up.
3. They are afraid of losing freedom.
4. They are afraid of getting pregnant and gaining weight.
5. Not sure they need it.
6. Afraid to get married because I had a negative experience.
7. They love to live for themselves.
8. They love “free love” (open relationships that exist without any obligations).
9. They don’t want to change their passport or last name.
10. They perceive any life changes very painfully.

Did you find out something that is close to you? Now let's give a more detailed answer to this question.

Should a girl get married?

Worth it if:

• The girl feels that she is ready for marriage. She understands (both morally and physically) that the time for marriage has already come.
• The girl realizes that she is ready to change everything in life (lifestyle, habits, and so on).

What will have to be changed? What do you need to be prepared for?

Look:

• friends and girlfriends will have to devote little time (at least less than before marriage);
• you should dress differently (not as openly as you dressed before);
• will have to be at home more;
• you will have to go shopping more often;
• you will have to change your attitude towards freedom.

How to make a choice?

• The girl has grown up

She can do everything, takes change seriously, and is not afraid of difficulties, knowing them to the core.

• The girl fell in love and understands that this love is mutual feeling

Marrying for love is not a sin, not a whim, but great happiness.

• The girl really wants to get married

He wants it so much that he “squeaks.” There are girls for whom marriage is both a dream and an obsession.

• The girl believes that she has already achieved everything she wanted to achieve in life

All plans, all dreams, all desires... Almost everything came true! You can also remember that the girl is still unmarried.

Girls who think it's worth getting married

Violetta: What about without marriage? I see no point in life if there is no husband. And children are needed. Legitimate!

Ilona: My husband loves me. And I’m all for living “in style,” and not just like that. It’s more pleasant this way. You can’t imagine how nice it is to feel like a spouse!

Oksana: A woman needs a husband! It's boring without my husband! Uninteresting and unfun. I probably think so because I was lucky with my husband. Yes, this is my second marriage, and the first was a mistake. And who doesn’t make mistakes?

Romana: My husband is a useful person. And he will screw in a light bulb if necessary, and go to the store (pharmacy) if asked... I won’t talk about everyone, but my husband is just like that.

Girls who believe that there is no need to get married (not worth it)

Tatyana: I was so burned that I don’t recommend getting married. Even for the best and dear person in the world! I don’t believe them... First they are so good, and then they are “rednecks”.

Olga: Why a husband? The most golden person is mom. I live with her and am happy. I don’t need to lie to you and deceive you. That's the kind of person I am!

Daria: Why sign your name if you can live just like that? I have been living with a man for seven years. And I like this kind of life!

Violetta: I’m so disappointed in men that I’m definitely not going to get married. Even if they threaten you with death. They are all assholes!

Maryana: Alenka (my friend) submitted an application to the registry office. Then I regretted it, because I was completely disappointed in the guy. I don't want it that way. That’s why I won’t rush to this “institution.” I can afford it.

Girls!

You should marry for love, not for profit. You can't play with feelings. Feelings are a fire that can seriously burn.

Don't get married if you feel like you haven't had your fill yet. Marriage is a serious step that should not be taken thoughtlessly.

Many believe that daughters repeat the fates of their mothers (the mother got married at twenty years old - the daughter will get married at the same age). And the daughters are waiting for that same “mother’s” age. If nothing repeating is observed, the girls worry horribly. What for? You can not do it this way.

Do not miss. . . Very often I meet independent people who don’t want to get married! But this does not mean that they do not want to be with a man! Not at all! As one friend told me: “I don’t want to get married and I won’t get married. I have a man, we live periodically in his country house, we meet several times a week, he helps me with everything!

But I don’t want to live together and marry him! I’m used to being alone in the house!” Let me note that a friend has children, a son and a daughter, they have already grown up, entered universities and live separately from their mother.

IN modern world more and more women are independent, more women do not want to get married, change something in their lives, they become more independent and selfish... Often, they already have a marriage behind them and have children.

But no less often there are girls aged 30 and older who do not have a husband or children and the issue is not urgent! They simply don’t want to change anything in their lives either, keeping the man at a distance...

Years go by, but there is no family! So it turns out that family is no longer needed? I would like to hear your opinion on this issue! To get married or not to get married...

Margarita, 26 years old, Internet promotion specialist, unmarried, raising a daughter.

- I wanted to get married. At 18 years old. Being pregnant. I was not invited, alas (or hurray?..). Then, of course, they called me, more than once, and different men, but I don’t want to go there anymore! For what? put on White dress and pretending to be an innocent lamb with a seven-year-old child is vulgar. There are a lot of documents to change. And what will marriage give me? What does it actually give? Protection? Calm? Envy of unmarried friends? Mortgage? Do not make me laugh! But seriously, I fully admit that I just haven’t met THAT man yet. Perhaps there will still be someone in my life who will call me to marry, and whoever I want to marry. Or it won't. But I will survive this too.

Irina, 35 years old, entrepreneur, owner of a real estate agency, unmarried. I have a daughter, 11 years old.

- Well, what can I say? I divorced my husband because of alcohol when my daughter was 3 years old. I was tired and decided to free myself from constant hassle and scandals. And I did great. I became independent, strong, and other men began to take me into account. I used to be a little depressed about the situation. Married again? Never! If only a miracle happens and the man turns out to be perfect in my opinion! They offered me to live together. I don't need that either! I have an established life and I don’t want to let anyone stranger into it, not even a man! I have a man, we sometimes see each other in different territories! But we spend the night at home, unless we are on vacation! He helps me, I am grateful to him! So I don’t see the point in having a stamp in my passport!

Milana, 24 years old, insurance manager, single. Have no children.

– I don’t want to get married yet! My mother constantly tells me that it’s time to get married and have children! Otherwise you’ll turn 25, then 27, then 30 and that’s it! What kind of children then!? But I don’t want to get married at all, I don’t want children yet. It’s a pity that time passes, we grow up, which means we get old. Therefore, you need to do everything quickly - family, children, career... But I don’t want, I don’t want all this yet, except for a career. I want to live completely alone, I don’t want to wake up with someone or clean up after someone. I want to travel and study, learn languages, take photographs, play sports... I understand that time will pass and I have nothing, but at the same time... do I need it? Why should I live the way it is accepted!? I don’t want a husband, nor do I want children yet.

Svetlana, social worker, married. I have a daughter, 8 years old.

– I’m married, but I’m unhappy with my family. More precisely, a husband. I would divorce with great pleasure, but somehow I got used to it and can’t make up my mind. My husband drinks, he’s an ordinary worker, he doesn’t understand me, he ridicules all my creative ideas, he says, go cook food, he dreams here... If I’m going somewhere, I’m interested in photography for myself, he doesn’t understand why I waste time on all sorts of nonsense. And from work, home, to the guys in the garage or fishing! And who's wasting time? Therefore, for the sake of my daughter, I need to get a divorce. So that she doesn't see our scandals. From the outside, it is, of course, simpler! Get a divorce! But no one knows what’s in a person’s soul! If I get divorced, I don’t want to get married anymore! I want free fresh spring air and devote myself to creativity and my daughter! That's it!

Marina, entrepreneur, single. I have a 3 year old son.

– I want to get married, but we live separately, I’ve accepted it because I love it. And I find my advantages in such a life. This: no need to serve anyone, adapt to another person (and our habits are very different).

Even the fact that I am a complete night owl and can go out for a walk at 3 am, and he goes to bed at 8 pm.

Doesn't contribute to comfort either. I don’t want to look for another man to marry. As I imagine, this quest is happening again. Come on, mental comfort is more important. And it’s like she’s with a man, and she’s free. When I need it, I am in a civil marriage, when otherwise I am free. And then, as the years go by, you don’t want to let anyone into your comfort zone... Reluctance! Again, this is all without guarantees that we will live happily ever after.

The question that every girl asks herself when she embarks on a steep path. Childhood is left behind, each person in the situation of making fundamental decisions for himself is left alone with his destiny. Choosing a life partner is an exciting and worrying milestone for people in life. Therefore, it is not surprising that fears, doubts and long thoughts arise along this path.

The main thing is to understand: doubts are a normal phenomenon of a person’s inner life, but not when. If the question arises whether it is worth getting married, if there are doubts, then this in itself is a bad sign.

One day a student came to Socrates and asked:
- Socrates, you are wise, tell me, should I marry or not?
- Don't get married!
- Why, you don’t know her at all?!
- But you ask.

The cunning Socratic wisdom says: true feelings do not need confirmation from the outside. After all, a person does not ask if he is hungry or thirsty? If a person is not sick and is responsible for his actions, then he can sort himself out.

Let's consider general cases when the answer to the question of whether to get married if in doubt is negative.

1. Doubts about wanting to get married. At this point there are examples when people hesitate to go to the registry office in principle. They do not feel the inner strength to complete one stage of their life and begin another. The reason is banal: fear of the irreversibility of life, which appears here as the impossibility of choosing others sexual partners. Or the reluctance to move forward in a relationship with a person cannot be explained rationally, but something vague and unclear is whispered to a woman by intuition.
2. External pressure is present. Those around her want marriage, but the girl herself does not have 100% confidence in the correctness of her choice.
3. Unfinished disputes. Every couple had stories that were cut off mid-sentence; it is better to finish them off and talk them out before the wedding. This is not about taste preferences, but about... A well-worn, but still relevant truth: agreements should be made on the shore.
4. Treason. You can’t, much less, marry someone who has already betrayed you once and has chased after momentary pleasures. If a man has one, and that only woman appears in them, then he will not do that.
5. Passion and mystical love ecstasy are power. People miss gut-wrenching emotions as they get older. However, this is not a reason to run away from the registry office as quickly as possible, obeying love. The foundation of marriage is based on a slightly cooled mature feeling in marriage - this is the weak link.
6. Last on the list, but most importantly: a girl should not accept the proposal of someone whom she still hopes to “tweak” and change. People don't change, that's what life and Dr. House teach.

After analyzing general cases when the question arises whether to get married, if in doubt, let’s move on to specific problems.

Is it worth getting married without love?

This question torments girls when they are over thirty. The only argument in defense of a marriage of convenience is this kind: if married life is built on the principles, then it is as strong as a rock. The logic is simple: a person does not want to lose on his own initiative, where he is satisfied with working conditions and salary, with marriage, which is comparable to a financial agreement, the story is the same.

Disadvantages of this type of relationship for a woman:

• Aesthetic compromise. The girl does not like either the external or spiritual appearance of her potential husband, but she hopes that material wealth will overcome physical disgust. Expectations are not met.
• “He who pays calls the tune.” The woman in such a marriage is the vulnerable side, so whether she likes it or not, she submits to the whims and desires of her husband.

The question of whether to marry without love does not always imply a sad and disappointing answer. Some couples live like this and are happy, but love has nothing to do with it.

Should a girl get married? Express test

The technique is simple, like everything ingenious. A young woman tests herself on 8 points (the first 3 with the answer “yes” and the remaining 5 with the answer “no”):

1. Is the love mutual?
2. Is there a feeling of soul kinship? In a down-to-earth form, the formulation means: the presence of common values ​​and material and spiritual goals.
3. Does the girl like the man as a person? Does interest in a guy fade when sexual attraction is removed from the relationship?
4. The girl is getting married, ?
5. Is a girl attracted to marriage only by status?
6. Does a woman base a relationship on calculation?
7. Is quality sex the only reason for marriage?
8. A girl forces a man to marry because of a “sudden” pregnancy?

Each person, having answered these simple questions, will understand the girl if she is not sure.

Should you get married at 18?

It is difficult to name the positive aspects of early marriage, except that the children are already adults and the parents are not yet old. But in this sense the game is not worth the candle. Young families suffer enormous problems associated with the disadvantages of such a marriage:

• Financial independence. Young families are listed on the balance sheet of their parents.
• Personality incompatibility. When the heat of love subsides, people discover that they are completely unsuitable for each other.
• No income. The appearance of a family affects the quality of education that people receive, which leads to the inability to get a well-paid job.
• Early marriages, according to statistics, break up in 50% of cases, leaving behind broken lives and unhappy children.

The numbers are inexorable, and life is indifferent to a person, but at 18 years old, a girl decides for herself.

Should you marry someone your own age?

A related topic to the previous paragraph, but there are some subtleties. People of the same age meet and marry not only at 18, but also at 22 or 24. A man at 22–24 rarely stands confidently on his feet and cannot offer his chosen one a full package of services: an apartment, a car, social status.

People today cannot and do not want to wait. Women have it harder than men, because they feel the pressure of biological time on their lives. Therefore, the question arises: is it worth marrying someone your age who has nothing? The concerns and anxieties are understandable, fair and require explanation. The disadvantages of such a union partly overlap with those discussed above, but the marriage in question also has advantages:

• If people start from the same positions, then they are equal. Spouses are kept together only by love, not profit.
• Tests test, temper and strengthen.
• A reverent and tender attitude towards each other, and not a consumer one.

Is it worth marrying a foreigner?

Life in Russia is far from ideal, so people are looking for a better place. In their search for not only everyday, but also life's amenities, they cross borders and fly across the ocean. Women take risks and, when marrying a foreigner, play Russian roulette. The worst expectations are:

• The lifestyle will not suit.
• The husband will turn out to be a despot who will take advantage of his wife’s subordinate position, because he is a “citizen” and she is an “emigrant”.
• Problems with employment in a foreign country due to official status.

And despite the arguments “against”, history has recorded examples when men and women left their homeland and found a home for themselves in a foreign country. My fears were not justified, but I was lucky with people.

Moving to another country is not only a decision of the heart, but also of the mind. Some people are lucky and two lines of human life coincide: the heart is drawn to what the mind approves of. The latter should help to become familiar with the culture of the place where the person is going in order to eliminate the possibility of psychological trauma - culture shock.

However, the answer to the question of whether it is worth marrying a foreigner should only be given when all the pros and cons have been taken into account and carefully analyzed.

Natalya Kaptsova

Reading time: 11 minutes

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The traditional girl's dream is a diamond ring, a wedding dress and, of course, the long-awaited prince himself. And, having received a marriage proposal, every girl asks the question - what is the best thing to do? Should I postpone the wedding and wait until my feelings are tested by time? Or should I immediately agree before the prince changes his mind? According to psychologists, it is equally wrong to immediately throw yourself into the wedding pool headlong and drag it out indefinitely. has its pros and cons at any age.

According to the law, yesterday's schoolgirl in our country can easily wear a veil. True, you still have to ask your parents for permission. Having barely received a passport, the young “bride” may well get married under such circumstances as pregnancy. But the main question remains: will such an early marriage bring happiness, or will passion die out at the very first everyday problems?

The most common reasons for getting married at 16 years old

• Unexpected pregnancy.
• Negative family environment.
• Excessive care and control of parents.
• An irresistible craving for independence.

Advantages of marriage at 16

• New status and level of relationship.
• Mental flexibility. The ability to adapt to your husband’s character.
• A young mother will retain her external attractiveness even by the time the child graduates from school.

Disadvantages of marriage at 16

Married at 18

At this age, unlike sixteen years old, you no longer need permission from the guardianship authorities and parents for your personal happiness. And it is quite possible to meet a man in whose life there is no ex-wife, no children from his first marriage, no alimony obligations. But many of the pros and cons of getting married at 16 also apply to this age.

Advantages of marriage at 18

• Blooming youth, which (as a rule) excludes the stronger half from walking “to the left.”
• The opportunity to remain a “young” mother even with a very adult child.
• You can make your own decision about marriage.

Disadvantages of marriage at 18

• Love at this age is often confused with a riot of hormones, resulting in the chances of becoming ex-wife increase exponentially.
• Maternal instincts are present in every woman, but at this age they have not yet fully awakened so that the mother can devote herself completely to the child.
• Such drastic changes as the inability to “hang out with girlfriends” or go to a club or salon often become causes of nervous breakdowns. In marriage, you have to devote yourself entirely to your family, which, alas, not every girl at this age comes to.

Bride aged 23-27

This age, according to psychologists, is ideal for marriage. University studies are already behind us, with a diploma in hand you can find a good job, a woman can already do a lot, knows and understands what she wants from life.

Advantages of marriage at 23-27 years old

• The female body is already completely ready for bearing a baby and giving birth.
• The “wind in the head” subsides, and the girl begins to think more soberly.
• Actions become balanced and dictated not only by emotions, but also by logic.

Disadvantages of marriage at 23-27 years old

• Risk of conflict of interests (one of the couple has not yet outgrown “nightclubs”, and the other is concerned about the family budget and possible prospects).
• Approaching the age when pregnancy may become problematic.

According to statistics and the opinion of psychologists, marriages that take place at this age, for the most part, are dictated not by love, but by sober calculation. In such marriages, everything is checked down to the smallest detail, from the family budget to taking out the trash can. More like this marriage is like a business contract , although one cannot deny its strength - even in the absence of the “passions of youth”, marriages at this age are very strong. Precisely because of the balance of his decision.
In conclusion, we can repeat one well-known truth - “All ages are submissive to love.” Sincere mutual love knows no obstacles, and a love boat, provided there is trust, respect and mutual understanding, simply cannot break into everyday life, no matter what age the Mendelssohn march begins to play.

The main reasons why people get married

Everyone wants to get married. Even those who prove the opposite. But some come out later, some earlier, depending on expectations in life. Everyone has it for marriage your motives and reasons :

• All my friends have already gotten married.
• Conscious desire to have a child.
• Strong feelings for the gentleman.
• The desire to live separately from parents.
• An acute lack of male care for a girl who grew up without a father.
• A man's wealth.
• The cherished status of a “married lady.”
• Parents' insistence on marriage.

Surprisingly, reasons for not getting married Modern girls also have:

• Reluctance to do housework (cook, wash, etc.)
• Independence and freedom, the loss of which seems catastrophic.
• Fear of pregnancy and loss of slimness.
• Uncertainty about feelings.
• The desire to live exclusively for oneself.
• Reluctance to change surname.
• Life position – “free love”.

Good afternoon, dear ladies! How often do we ask ourselves questions about the men who are next to us. Is he right for me, will we get married, what awaits us in the future, how to build a healthy and strong relationship, and so on. A wedding is a fairly serious step. How do you know if you should get married?

A new stage in the development of relations

Let's talk a little about the history of the word married and what it means. It is logical that this word comes from the phrase for husband, for husband. Thus, the girl becomes part of her husband's family, she comes to his family.

Since ancient times, there has been a tradition of ransom: you have a merchant, we have goods. A man takes a woman under his wing, under his protection, under his guardianship.

Today, there has been a fairly strong transformation of the concept of getting married. Today, marriage is simply an agreement between two people to legalize their relationship. For love, because of pregnancy, for convenience, for one’s own benefit, because of the financial status of one of the partners, and so on.

Situations are different. I can’t say that I have a bad attitude towards girls who marry a man for his money. Maybe she loves this person. Or perhaps there is only cold calculation here.

I hope everything is to your liking. You have found the one and only person with whom you want to connect your destiny. Love is one of the most beautiful feelings a person can experience.

But many people forget that love must be maintained. That this is not a feeling that lives on its own. He is nurtured, cared for, monitored and fed.

Imagine that love is ginura, a house plant. This fastidious plant is very sensitive to the temperature in the room, requires special lighting and does not lend itself to tricks to accelerate growth.

That's how love is. She needs special, scrupulous and careful care. If you abandon your love and leave it to fate, it will dry up. And if you take care, it will bloom and delight you with its healthy and lush appearance.

I suggest you read the article "". You will be able to understand how men and women interact with each other, what kind of relationships they build, and decide on your position in your couple.

How to determine if the game is worth the candle

Unfortunately or fortunately, there is no test that will tell you right time for Wedding. Only you yourself can understand when the time comes. Many couples really need to live together before deciding to take the next step. Others run to the registry office after a couple of months of dating.

I know two couples. Some lived together for almost ten years. Sometimes they quarreled, sometimes heart to heart. But in the end they separated anyway without getting married. And the second pair is the opposite. We got married four months after we met. They live and cannot get enough of each other.

Only your inner instinct and intuition will help you determine the right time for your wedding. You and your partner must come to this decision together.

It is impossible to force a person to do something against his will. How often do we hear stories about how a girl dragged a guy to the registry office. Such relationships will not last long. Sooner or later, he will still run away from her, because the wedding was not his conscious decision.

Don't chase the stamp in your passport. It is much more important to find a common language with your partner and decide to get married together.

Ask yourself what is more important to me: a wedding or a relationship with a person. Some couples live happily their entire lives without tying the knot. And this does not prevent them from being satisfied with their lives.

Nothing is impossible

Another very important point. Many young ladies consider themselves unworthy, they think that they will never find the happiness of a married woman.

First, stop focusing on the wedding itself.

Secondly, believe in yourself and love yourself.

You can get married a second time, or a third, with a child, or with two. It all depends solely on your view of this situation. If you are confident that you will find a suitable and worthy man, then you will not be plagued by doubts and self-doubt.

One of my clients for a long time suffered after a difficult divorce. We quietly moved forward. With each session she became a little freer and calmer. But in the depths of her soul there was a thorn: “I will never marry again.” But then one day, with sparkling eyes, she spoke about a man she met at an exhibition at work. Today they have been happily married for two years and are raising a little son.

In order for you to finally dispel all your fears and doubts, read the article “”. You will understand that nothing is impossible, everything is in your hands. You deserve happiness and love. Be open and good-natured, then happiness itself will stick to you.

What you need to be prepared for

In relationships, everything is not always simple, easy and clear. When people start living together, they learn to manage a budget together, make decisions that may not suit one of the partners, learn to negotiate and seek compromises, then raise children, and so on.

I would like to give you some useful and practical tips. To make it easier to resolve family disputes, learn to listen to your spouse.

It often happens that at the moment of a quarrel, partners do not hear each other at all, but simply try to express their position by shouting. Relax, throw away all negative emotions and just listen to what your loved one says.

Another important point is to be able to speak without raising your tone. Emotions often get in the way of sound decision making. The calmer you are, the more logical, common sense and correct solutions you will find. Screaming only gets in the way, to be honest.

Understand that you will not change your man. He is who he is. You can only help him become better. When you change yourself, then the man will follow you. Always start changes with yourself.

If you have any problem in your relationship, then first of all think about yourself, and do not blame your partner. Start with what you're doing wrong and what you can change. This will be much more efficient and productive.

And work on your love. Don't throw it away or let it dry out. Remember that for mutual happiness, you need to make efforts. Relationships don’t just work that way; they require your absolute participation.
I strongly advise you to familiarize yourself with one of my works: “”.

Be happy!