Every parent wants their child to grow up happy and successful person. I'm not an exception. My son Fedor is 5 years old.

The issue of education is extremely important, since according to well-known wisdom " sow an action - you reap a habit; sow a habit - you reap a character; sow a character - you reap a destiny".

The actions of our children create their future and it is extremely important that these actions are their own experience and their choice, and not the coercion of their parents. Only then is the experience acquired correctly and the child’s personality develops harmoniously.

A common technique for many parents is the carrot and stick method. The child does what his parents tell him and gets the “carrot”; if he doesn’t do it, the “stick” is used. But what does this teach children? Do what you're told and everything will be fine! Agree, this is not the best paradigm.

When Fedya was still 2.5 years old, I thought that I would like to find some kind of holistic motivation system for the child. One that would easily and without coercion push him daily to develop, learn new skills and take positive actions that are the result of his own choice. After spending many hours on the Internet, I, unfortunately, did not find anything like this. Then I did the following simple thing. I drew a sign. By the way, this is what she looked like))

To my surprise, Fedor started this game very quickly. For every completed deed from the list I proposed, he received a “smiley” in the table. And having collected a certain number of such emoticons, he received a bonus. As a rule, it was a material gift.

This system is quite simple and is used by many parents in one form or another. And all thanks the following advantages:

1. Game manner. The child perceives this as an exciting game and, with pleasure and of his own free will, does things (puts away toys, brushes his teeth, etc.) that in a normal situation he would have to be forced to do.
2. Regularity of repetitions within a single system. Since this whole game has a regular basis, the child gets used to its rules and then begins to do many things, as they say, “automatically.” What exactly is an end in itself. Moreover, within the framework of this approach, you can instill in your child any useful skills.
3. Ability to achieve goals. The child understands that in order to achieve the desired result, a number of conditions must be met. As in adult life: To achieve a big goal, you need to achieve several sub-goals. This is a very important skill!
4. Positive motivation (deprivation of privileges). We give a bonus for achieving a goal, but not for failure to achieve it. It's simple. And no whip! We create a privilege and simply deprive it if something happens. It is important that the child also learns a very valuable life lesson - goals cannot always be achieved the first time. But you don’t need to get upset, just start again and everything will work out.
5. And one more positive point: the child is in an unobtrusive form learns the days of the week and generally learns to perceive time.

1. Material motivation is wrong. If a child is motivated financially, he will begin to perceive the achievement of material wealth as an end in itself, which can be dangerous. It is much better to give the child emotions as a motive - a trip with parents to the circus or the zoo, lunch in a cafe with animators, horse riding, etc.
2. Pictures are better than captions. Young children cannot read, which means they do not perceive texts written by their parents. It is better to visualize what you expect from your child. The child himself will come to you after completing the task and report on his successes. You just need to praise him to inspire him to new victories.
3. Self-control is better than parental control. When the child has completed this or that condition/task, which he informed you about. You can give him a sticker (smiley, flower, star, etc.) so that he can paste it into the table himself, thereby receiving an additional charge of positive emotions.
4. No more than 5 skills at a time. I initially had a fairly large list of requirements for the child (the number of lines in the table). It was difficult for my son to perceive them. Later I found a recommendation from child psychologists that it is better to instill no more than 5 skills at a time. Although I admit that for older children their number may increase.
5. The horizon for achieving the goal is a week. Initially, my motivation table was designed for a calendar month. But for a child this is a very long time. Therefore, it is better to limit yourself to weekly cycles, at the end of which, on the weekend, the child can receive non-material rewards for his successes.

I shared my idea with friends and colleagues who have children. And I realized that I’m not the only one concerned about this issue. There was a desire to make a project. Make sure that all the disadvantages are taken into account and all the advantages are realized. I hope that with your help the project will come to life!

What is the goal of the project?

• Help parents raise happy and successful children.
• Make the process of learning and motivating children less stressful and more fun.

The makivideo.com service, for a nominal sum, helped make a presentation video that briefly described the essence of the project.

How does the Children's Week benefit work?

1. Post a calendar on the wall in the children's room or in another place accessible to the child. It is important that it is in front of the baby’s eyes, and he can easily reach it.

2. Paste any 5 stickers of tasks (skills) for consolidation in the first week. Select the most relevant tasks for your child from the proposed list:

• Make the bed
• Brush your teeth
• Dress yourself
• Put toys away
• Go to bed on time
• Watch cartoons for no more than 30 minutes
• Learn a poem
• Feed the pet
• Help mom wash the dishes
• Saying "thank you" and "please"
• Don't interfere with parents talking on the phone

By the way, It is planned to add other stickers with tasks for children of different ages. Please indicate in the comments to the project what skills you would like to add?

It is important that the skills are extremely specific and do not interfere with the development of the child’s emotional sphere. For example, you should not use a sticker such as “don’t cry” or “don’t swear on the playground,” since pushing the child’s feelings inside is fraught. You need to understand the source of the problem, and that’s something else. Our manual is focused primarily on instilling specific everyday skills and developing a healthy child’s attitude towards discipline.

3. Explain to your child the rules of the game. Tell us in detail what you will be issuing stickers for. What gift will the child receive at the end of the week if he collects the required number (for example, at least 20).

4. Stock up on stickers for the first week. Put the rest out of reach of the child. It is important that the completed task sticker is always at hand when your child asks you for it.

5. Start issuing stickers for completed actions from the list. At first, it may be necessary to remind you about things to do. In the future, the child himself will know his responsibilities without reminders. And come to you when they have completed the job successfully. Don’t forget to thank your child and encourage him, give him a sticker. Let the child glue it into the desired square himself.

If a child asks you for help in completing some task, be sure to help him. What he does with you now, he can do on his own tomorrow!

6. Summarize the week. This can be done on Saturday. Count the number of stickers your child has put on. Mark those tasks and skills that the child did best (praise), and also mark those that need to be improved. And tell him that he can do this next week. If the required number of stickers have been pasted, then it’s time to give out the declared intangible gift.

If the goal is not achieved, you need to say that there will be no gift this week. However, there is every chance of getting it next time.

Be consistent and fair; under no circumstances give your child a bonus just like that. The child needs this experience. And next week he will try better, knowing that he may again be left without the privilege. Moreover, deprivation of privileges is not a punishment in the traditional sense, but a good motivator for future success!

7. Add new skills. After 2-3 weeks, when the baby performs his duties without reminders, as they say, “automatically,” you can update the task stickers. Don't forget to tell your child about this so that he understands that there have been changes in the game.

On weekends, you can not use the calendar so that your child has the opportunity to take a break from his responsibilities.

What do child psychologists say?

Chernobrovkina Svetlana Vladimirovna

Candidate psychological sciences.
Associate Professor of the Department of Social Psychology, Faculty of Psychology, Omsk State University

<<По поводу проекта "Детская неделя" могу сказать следующее. В психологии это называется "метод жетонов". Разработка метода осуществляется в рамках научно-практического психологического направления - бихевиоральной психологии и психотерапии.

The essence of the method is the accumulation of conditional incentives (in the case of a calendar, these are stickers for the child’s effective behavior) and exchanging them for real incentives (events, objects, etc.).

Psychologists recommend using this method when developing norms and habits of adaptive behavior in young children, as well as when it is necessary to correct the behavior of older children and even adults (for them, of course, the requirements and forms of recording behavioral changes are different).

Within the framework of this project, the principles on which the token method is built are quite accurately reflected (regularity of evaluation, repeatability, game nature, control of a limited number of skills, etc.).

The project is really worthwhile.>>

What is included in the set of motivational benefits "Children's Week" for 970 rubles?

1. Wall calendar board for a period of 16 weeks (4 months).
2. A set of 72 standard task stickers.
3. A set of 36 universal stickers with the ability to include skills that parents consider necessary for the development of their children.
4. A set of 400 stickers indicating completed tasks.
5. Instructions for using motivational benefits and recommendations for use.

What will the money be used for?

1. Finalization of the design layout RUB 18,000.
2. Printing of circulation 125,700 rub.
3. Printing skill stickers and mark stickers RUB 11,800.
4. Commission of payment systems and website 18,167 rubles.
5. Payment for delivery of gifts to sponsors 9000 rubles.

P.S.

I would be grateful for any support for the project, both in word and deed. If the project seemed interesting to you, Please post a link about it on your page on the social network.

Many parents try to help their child become more organized and punctual. In this difficult matter you will need child organization board or table. The board will help children learn many necessary personal skills, useful skills and remember to do everyday and household chores.

You can use for organizational board a piece of paper or cardboard, a notebook, even a mock-up of a school schedule.

We offer you our option organizational board for the child. It is organized according to the principle of a weekly calendar and a to-do list in cells for each day of the week. You can place pictures with things to do on the left side of the table, but then the child will have to look for the right cell every time, and this is quite difficult for kids to do.

I print a table every week on a regular A4 sheet and tape it to my son’s desk. Nearby, in a stand, there are 2 markers, red for my daughter (she is 4 years old) and blue for my son (he is 10 years old). After completing a task, they place a cross or a check mark next to the completed task icon.

So far we have the following things to do: make the bed (picture of a crib), brush your teeth in the morning (picture of a tooth), read a book (picture of a book), practice writing beautifully (picture of a boardnote with a pen), dancing - my son goes to break and ballroom, my daughter goes to dances for children (pictures are arranged according to the days of attendance of classes, pictures are selected accordingly), learn 2-3 English words(picture I love English), help mom in the kitchen (picture stove), help with cleaning (picture broom and dustpan), brush your teeth in the evening (picture tooth), don’t say bad words (picture tongue), wear an orthodontic plate (picture teeth with braces).

You select activities based on your child’s age and schedule. For example, if the child is very small, there should be much less to do: go to the potty on his own, put his toys in his place, dress himself, don’t cry, put himself to bed, don’t scream, share his toys. If the child is older, then things are more serious - I put my things away, make the bed, brush my teeth, have good table manners, help with cooking, don’t say bad words, eat what my mother gives, put my things away, etc.

Here's another example of board organization.

And one more example.

Here, opposite the task cards - calendar grid with the days of the week, and parents can reward the child with stars every day for each task (they are placed on the board with magnets) or again print out the table and put stars on it with felt-tip pens.

When the child gets older, you can count the points earned for each task. When a child reaches a specified number of points, he receives a reward for excellent behavior. There must be a reward, even if there are few points!

For example, our scheme is this: if children together (learning to work in a team) scored a lot of points from 75 and above, then the reward is big - for example, a trip to an entertainment center or amusement park with a visit to a toy store, if the points are less than 70, then a smaller reward - a trip to sushi, pizzeria, cinema, theater and buying little surprises, but if the points are less than 45-50, then the reward is very small - we just prepare pizza or some tasty treat of their choice.

Children love to be praised - and this gives you a convenient opportunity to reward them for all their achievements. The reward should not be monetary in any case, because the child learns to do everyday things, in adult life no one will pay for them, and these memories will always make children feel warm in their hearts.

In addition to the article, examples of organizing a child’s workspace with an organizational board.

Happiness to you and your family!

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I am now reading the second book by one of the most authoritative psychologists in the world, “Difficult Child. How to cope with him and with yourself.” Alan Kazdin, author of the book, says, “One mistake we often make is trying to control a child with punishment, when rewarding good behavior has a much greater effect.”

I also tried to implement the system described in the book a long time ago, even when I did not have such a strong theoretical basis. It was successful for some time, but unfortunately, due to lack of thought, it was abandoned, although the children showed great interest in it.

I know that many other parents, using a reward system - points, stars, emoticons - tried to get the desired behavior from their children.

Now I will tell you about a whole scientific method for using this system in practice.

1. First you must decide what kind of child behavior do you want to get? in a positive way.
“I want him to pack his backpack for school in the evening every day.”
“I want him to go to bed on time every day.”
“I want him to do a certain household chore,” etc.

2. We reward the child for every action performed, what we need. But we don’t expect perfection. If a child never goes to bed on time, then he will not become a good boy overnight.
To encourage we create achievements table:
In the left column are the days of the week, then 1-2 habits (it’s better to stop at this number first) and the last column is the total number of points for the day.

For example, we award a child 2 points for packing his backpack in the evening and 2 points for going to bed on time. In total, he can get 4 points per day. Empty cells We don’t leave it, we put a dash or a zero if the child hasn’t earned any points. You can write points not in numbers, but draw stars, put emoticons or some kind of stickers.
To begin with, it is better to take only weekdays from Monday to Friday.

A lot depends on where you place the table. It must be in a visible place accessible to the child - on the refrigerator, on the wall in his room.

Exchange points for prizes.

Never take anything away. There should not be a situation where a child does not comply with your demands, and you take away his things as punishment. It's taboo.

Start with "cheap" prizes. These can be small toys, pleasures, entertainment. It is better to prepare several toys at once and put them in a bag so that the child can get it from there.
Do not set unreasonably high prices for prizes. There's no point in promising small child that for 500 points he will go to the skating rink with his parents. He will not be able to accumulate points for this prize for so long and will be disappointed.

Set the price of prizes from the daily amount of points to the amount of points per month for older children. But these must be desirable, long-awaited prizes, for which the child should change his habits.

3. Let's get started

In the first days, you should remind your child gently, in the form of a request, starting with the word “please,” that he needs to go to bed. If he stays in bed and doesn’t start whining about “pee-drink-eat,” we give him 2 points and enter them into the table.

As soon as points for a prize are collected, we offer the child to take a small prize or save further for a large one. Usually, children first win small prizes, and then begin to accumulate more and more points.

Some of the prizes offered by the author of the book confused me. For example, for a certain number of points, a child is given a prize - a call to his grandmother. For me this is beyond comprehension.
But some prizes are good: extra reading at night, watching cartoons together, going to the skating rink, a trip somewhere, board game(note, this is in addition to how you would normally have fun with your child).

According to this system, you and your child work to develop the desired behavior. And this can only be done through training, only in this way actions become natural and automatic.
Once the habit becomes automatic, you will no longer need to reward your child. And you can move on to forming another habit.

Here I talked in general about this reward system; on this basis, you can begin to form the necessary habit in your child (or in yourself, why not?). But in the book "Problem Child" you will find detailed instructions for this program, analysis of non-standard situations, situations with children of different ages, which will allow this incentive program to be carried out even more efficiently.