About everything fewer women breastfeed their babies. Society, having destroyed traditionally large families, sending a woman from the family to production, made the “weaker sex” stronger, but at the same time less adapted to motherhood.

A modern young woman, who is expecting or has already given birth to her first child, finds herself at the center of some excitement around the topic. breastfeeding.

On the one hand, my own mother, sighing, says: “You know, daughter, I had very little milk, and you probably won’t have it...”

On the other hand, the doctor antenatal clinic or the pediatrician declares with professional confidence that the guarantee of her child’s health is in her hands, or rather, in her breasts, because it is so beneficial for the growing body.

On the third hand, breastfeeding promoters fight very emotionally for natural nutrition for the baby and against everyone artificial mixtures, and listening to them, some young women who have been unable to breastfeed feel a sense of inferiority.

Finally, on the fourth side, best friend, whose baby is over a year old, says that there is a huge selection of formulas, both dad and grandmother can feed from a bottle, and the mother does not have to be attached to the baby 24 hours a day.

The statements of each side evoke different feelings in a woman - sometimes anxiety and uncertainty, sometimes joy and hope. As a psychologist, I really want to support this young mother and tell her: “In any case - whether you breastfeed your child or not - only you can be yourself for him best mom. The main thing is that, along with worries and anxieties, there is a lot of joy in your motherhood!”

Indeed, psychological studies say that the most prosperous children grow up with mothers who, while caring for the baby, enjoyed it. I would not like readers of this article to get the impression that I am against breastfeeding. I am in favor, only because it is natural, and what is natural always has strong foundations. But any propaganda (in in this case- exclusively for breastfeeding) there is always a downside - any action ultimately leads to reaction.

Without a doubt, already in the last century a large number of people grew up without breastfeeding. This means that the baby has other ways to experience physical closeness with his mother, which is precisely the basis for healthy personality development.

At the same time, I regret every time a mother was unable to breastfeed her child, simply because I think that both mother and child are losing something by not going through this experience. I'm not talking about illnesses, but about such things as the richness of personality, strength of character, the ability to experience happiness, and the ability to rebel and rebel.

So, breastfeeding naturally meets the needs of the newborn and the child of the first year of life. Knowing these needs, the mother can satisfy them in conditions. What are these needs?

First, let's remember how intrauterine life differs from the life of a newborn in terms of satiety. When the baby was in the mother's tummy, nutrients were continuously supplied to him. Even if a woman at times eats poorly (due to toxicosis, for example), the fetus still receives the necessary substances from her body’s reserves.

After birth, or more precisely, after blood from the placenta stops flowing to the baby, after a while he begins to experience discomfort. The baby does not yet know that this discomfort is called hunger, and these sensations make him very anxious: after all, he does not know whether anything can save him.

And so he receives his mother’s breast, sucks a few drops and understands that he is saved. Hunger goes away, discomfort is replaced by a comfortable state. But then they took the baby to process and weigh it - again new sensations, again scary! They returned her to her mother - there she was, her breasts, smelling so wonderfully like mother. The baby takes the nipple into his mouth again, sucks, and calms down. And so the baby sucks when he is hungry, when he is scared, lonely, when he is in pain or cold - after all, for him all these sensations are still new and uncomfortable.

And also Small child can't wait at all. He needs breasts to appear as soon as he needs them. And if the mother is nearby, if she breastfeeds every time the baby becomes worried, then after a while (from several days to 3-4 months) the child begins to trust the mother, because the main psychological task of the first year of life is the formation of basic trust in the world.

Yes, during such a simple action as breastfeeding, the ability of an adult to experience complex and difficult events in his life is laid, to believe that they will end, and to turn to other people for help.

Another ability that develops while feeding a baby is the ability to enjoy the process and achieve the goal. Here is a small child, he is hungry, the tension is growing: at first he is simply worried, then he begins to cry and finally screams loudly. But then my mother gave me breasts. At first, the baby sucks quickly, greedily, swallowing convulsively. Then, when the feeling of hunger passes, sucking becomes slower, an expression of pleasure appears on the baby’s face - and now the baby is full and falls off the breast. What bliss!

For both the child and his mother, this is the highest moment of tenderness and emotional intimacy, which one wants to return to throughout life.

However, some mothers underestimate this condition and immediately begin to disturb the baby, distract him or get distracted themselves. And how often in our lives do we see people who do not know how to enjoy their affairs, be it Homework or professional activity, and having achieved any goal, they immediately distract themselves with new things - instead of enjoying what they have achieved.

Another child’s need is the need for physical contact. There is a fact in the animal world: if, for example, a cat does not thoroughly lick her kittens after birth, they will die from lack of bodily contact.

Likewise, a newborn, and even a grown-up child, needs touching, stroking, and being carried in one’s arms. The baby gets this in sufficient quantities when the mother swaddles him and breastfeeds him, because if the baby is not in diapers around the clock and is not bottle-fed, one way or another he often has to be picked up and touched.

But then not very pleasant moments happen - the baby bites the breast: he gently bites it or, tightly clinging to the nipple, scolds it like an angry puppy. What it is?

This is the child's first aggression towards his mother. How insignificant it is compared to what a mother will have to endure from her growing and maturing child!

It can be difficult to survive these bites, especially if the child is the first, and the mother did not know that this could happen. And yet, groaning, wincing and tenderly angry, the woman survives these attacks and does not take the breast from the baby. Thus, he gains another important experience - the world does not collapse because I am angry with him, my mother accepts and loves me in any condition. Trust in the world is strengthened and a feeling of gratitude to the giver appears.

We looked at the basic psychological needs of a child in the first year of life, and we mainly talked about the situation when a mother is breastfeeding her baby. What can be advised to mothers who, for one reason or another, artificially feed their baby?

Pretty much the same. Take your baby in your arms more often, feed from a bottle while holding the baby at your breast, at least in the first months, feed not according to a schedule, and then, when the baby becomes restless, do not interrupt physical contact immediately after feeding - let the baby soak up some more time you in my arms. If you notice that the baby is angry with the bottle and is fiercely gnawing on the pacifier, do not take it away. If the bottle accidentally breaks in front of your baby, quickly bring a new one.

And one more thing: if a child is fed from a bottle, the woman may have the thought that the child does not really need it, because anyone can give a bottle: dad, nanny, grandmother. Advice: do not abuse this opportunity in the first 6-8 months, because at this time any child needs his mother to take care of him.

Discussion

Good article. Thank you!

Good article. Useful and necessary. It’s a pity that in my time there was no Internet, and my mother and grandmother were not around to give me such advice.

Comment on the article "Breastfeeding through the eyes of a psychologist"

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Breastfeeding: tips for increasing lactation, feeding on demand, long-term breastfeeding, weaning. No, no anemia. Anemia is when there is low hemoglobin? and during pregnancy and after I had 145-147.

Before that I applied to the breast as often as possible. At 5 months It may not be so difficult for you to cope with a baby, when I think that I could already have a second baby, I think about it with horror - the baby is very mobile and active, very loved...

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Previously, it was believed that when breastfeeding a child, the mother gave him only milk. Today, biologists claim that it feeds with energy, and milk is only a physical component.

Many experiments have been carried out. The child was fed in accordance with the latest discoveries of medical science. He was given milk from a pacifier and given the necessary vaccinations. The child had everything, but did not have maternal affection. The baby's development began to slow down, and he began to get sick. What's the matter? After all, he had everything his mother would give him.

In Germany during the war, many little orphans were sent to hospitals. The children were taken care of, they were given everything they needed, but after a while half of the babies died, despite scientific approaches. So why did this happen? One of the psychoanalysts noticed that they lacked affection, hugs, and a sense of their importance. Nutrition alone is not enough. Some kind of invisible food was needed. The psychoanalyst conducted an experiment: he asked everyone entering the room, be it a doctor, a nanny or a nurse, to spend at least five minutes communicating and playing with children. Soon the children stopped dying and began to grow and develop physically and spiritually. After this, many more experiments were carried out, and all of them confirmed the correctness of this psychoanalyst’s assumption.

When a mother hugs her child, an exchange of invisible energy occurs between them. We call it love, warmth. But not only the mother feeds the baby, but he also feeds her. They are happy “in each other.” Therefore, in motherhood a woman becomes the most beautiful. There is no closer connection than between mother and child, since he comes from the mother and is an extension of her. No one else could become so close to her.

For nine months he was a part of you, one with you. Your life was his life. Everything remains the same now, since there is still an exchange and transfer of energy between you and your child. Indeed, the psychophysical connection between mother and baby is not interrupted even after childbirth. Early attachment of a newborn to the breast softens the stress of birth, and skin-to-skin and eye-to-eye contact with the mother helps the child imprint her image.

Breastfeeding not only satisfies the newborn's need for food, it enhances communication between mother and child and stimulates the development of his psyche. For a child, the mother's breast is simultaneously a source of food, warmth and love. This happens if the mother really loves her child. The child feels that he is loved, that his mother needs him. The newborn, who has not yet separated his personality from the personality of his mother, finds absolute refuge under her breast, protection from all misfortunes. And this gradually builds his confidence in the world around him, in his mother and in himself. In addition, if the mother is happy and happily feeds the child, then he never overeats, because he trusts her, knows that his mother is always there, and he will always have time to satisfy his hunger. The beloved child is always healthy and has normal weight.

When feeding, gentle touches, a gentle look, and especially the mother’s quiet, gentle voice are important, while her speech has a certain rhythm, and the baby catches it and synchronizes its movements with it. Thus, the baby’s coordination is effectively trained. Before he was born, he coordinated his actions with his mother’s. During birth, this harmony was disrupted, and the work of the infant’s body became unbalanced. Therefore, after birth, the child must re-organize the biorhythms of his behavior in such a way that they correspond to extrauterine life. Mom helps the baby with exactly this when she repeats the same rituals of caring for him every day.

Love really warms! If a naked newborn is placed on the mother's breast, he will not freeze. Skin-to-skin contact and feeding stimulate local vasodilation in the baby, giving the little person a feeling of comfort and security. Already by the sixth day of life, the baby recognizes the smell of his mother’s milk and knows how tenderly her eyes glow. Researchers noticed that a breastfeeding woman instinctively holds her face about 22.5 cm from the baby's face, and were interested in why this happened. It turned out that newborns distinguish objects that are no further than 20-25 cm. This distance is optimal not only for visual perception and smell, but also for the feeling of warmth emanating from the mother’s body and bringing peace and bliss to the child. The rhythmic movements of the baby, the look of his children's eyes in response to the voice, to each new gesture contribute to the fact that the mother helps the child to develop faster physically and spiritually.

When the mother gives the breast out of necessity, there is no warmth in it. If the mother does not want to feed, she strives to wean off the breast as quickly as possible, and it becomes obvious to the child that the mother does not love him. The baby understands that he is unwanted. In the future, an unloved child will not believe in life and will feel like a stranger in it. Trust becomes impossible, because if he did not believe in his own mother, how can he trust anyone else. He will be full of doubts, suspicions, will be constantly in a state of anticipation, fear, confusion and will see enemies and competitors in people everywhere.

A lot is being written now about the problem of breastfeeding, about the fact that fewer and fewer women are breastfeeding their babies. Society, having destroyed traditionally large families, sending women from the family to production, made the “weaker sex” stronger, but at the same time less adapted to motherhood.

A modern young woman, who is expecting or has already given birth to her first child, finds herself at the center of some excitement around the topic of breastfeeding.

On the one hand, my own mother, sighing, says: “You know, daughter, I had very little milk, and you probably won’t have…”

On the other hand, a antenatal clinic doctor or pediatrician declares with professional confidence that the guarantee of her child’s health is in her hands, or rather, in her breasts, because breast milk is so beneficial for a growing body.

On the third hand, breastfeeding promoters fight very emotionally for natural nutrition for the baby and against all artificial formulas, and listening to them, some young women who were unable to breastfeed experience a feeling of inferiority.

Finally, on the fourth side, my best friend, whose baby is over a year old, says that there is a huge selection of formulas, both dad and grandmother can feed from a bottle, and it is absolutely not necessary for the mother to be attached to the baby 24 hours a day.

The statements of each side evoke different feelings in a woman - sometimes anxiety and uncertainty, sometimes joy and hope. As a psychologist, I really want to support this young mother and tell her: “In any case - whether you breastfeed your child or not - only you can be the best mother for him. The main thing is that, along with worries and anxieties, there is a lot of joy in your motherhood!”

Indeed, psychological studies show that the most prosperous children grow up with mothers who, while caring for the baby, enjoyed it. I would not like readers of this article to get the impression that I am against breastfeeding. I am in favor, only because it is natural, and what is natural always has strong foundations. But any campaign (in this case, exclusively for breastfeeding) always has a downside - any action ultimately leads to reaction.

Without a doubt, already in the last century a large number of people grew up without breastfeeding. This means that the baby has other ways to experience physical closeness with his mother, which is precisely the basis for healthy personality development.

At the same time, I regret every time a mother was unable to breastfeed her child, simply because I think that both mother and child are losing something by not going through this experience. I'm not talking about illnesses, but about such things as the richness of personality, strength of character, the ability to experience happiness, and the ability to rebel and rebel.

So, breastfeeding naturally meets the needs of the newborn and the child of the first year of life. Knowing these needs, the mother can satisfy them even under conditions of artificial feeding. What are these needs?

First, let's remember how intrauterine life differs from the life of a newborn in terms of satiety. When the baby is in the mother's tummy, nutrients are continuously supplied to him. Even if a woman is poorly nourished at times (due to toxicosis, for example), the fetus still receives everything it needs from the reserves of her body.

After birth, or more precisely, after blood from the placenta stops flowing to the baby, after a while he begins to experience discomfort. The baby does not yet know that this discomfort is called hunger, and these sensations make him very anxious: after all, he does not know whether anything can save him.

And so he receives his mother’s breast, sucks out a few drops of colostrum and understands that he is saved. Hunger goes away, discomfort is replaced by a comfortable state. But then they took the baby to handle, weigh, swaddle - again new sensations, again scary! They returned her to her mother - there she was, her breasts, smelling so wonderfully like mother. The baby takes the nipple into his mouth again, sucks, and calms down. And so the baby sucks when he is hungry, when he is scared, lonely, when he is in pain or cold - after all, for him all these sensations are still new and uncomfortable.

And a small child does not know how to wait at all. He needs breasts to appear as soon as he needs them. And if the mother is nearby, if she breastfeeds every time the baby becomes worried, then after a while (from several days to 3-4 months) the child begins to trust the mother, because the main psychological task of the first year of life is the formation of basic trust in the world.

Yes, during such a simple action as breastfeeding, the ability of an adult to experience complex and difficult events in his life is laid, to believe that they will end, and to turn to other people for help.

Another ability that develops while feeding a baby is the ability to enjoy the process and achieve the goal. Here is a small child, he is hungry, the tension is growing: at first he is simply worried, then he begins to cry and finally screams loudly. But then my mother gave me breasts. At first, the baby sucks quickly, greedily, swallowing convulsively. Then, when the feeling of hunger passes, sucking becomes slower, an expression of pleasure appears on the baby’s face - and now the baby is full and falls off the breast. What bliss!

For both the child and his mother, this is the highest moment of tenderness and emotional intimacy, to which one wants to return throughout life.

However, some mothers underestimate this condition and immediately begin to disturb the baby, distract him or get distracted themselves. And how often in our lives do we see people who do not know how to enjoy their work, be it household work or professional activity, and having achieved a goal, they immediately distract themselves with new things - instead of enjoying what they have achieved.

Another child’s need is the need for physical contact. There is a fact in the animal world: if, for example, a cat does not thoroughly lick her kittens after birth, they will die from lack of bodily contact.

So is a newborn and even an adult the child needs touching, stroking, being carried. The baby gets this in sufficient quantities when the mother swaddles him and breastfeeds him, because if the baby is not in diapers around the clock and is not bottle-fed, one way or another he often has to be picked up and touched.

But then not very pleasant moments happen - the baby bites the breast: he gently bites it or, tightly clinging to the nipple, scolds it like an angry puppy. What it is?

This is the child's first aggression towards his mother. How insignificant it is compared to what a mother will have to endure from her growing and maturing child!

It can be difficult to survive these bites, especially if the child is the first, and the mother did not know that this could happen. And yet, groaning, wincing and tenderly angry, the woman survives these attacks and does not take the breast from the baby. Thus, he gains another important experience - the world does not collapse because I am angry with him, my mother accepts and loves me in any condition. Trust in the world is strengthened and a feeling of gratitude to the giver appears.

We looked at the basic psychological needs of a child in the first year of life, and mainly we were talking about the situation when the mother is breastfeeding the baby. What can be advised to mothers who, for one reason or another, artificially feed their baby?

Pretty much the same. Take your baby in your arms more often, feed from a bottle, holding the baby at your breast, at least in the first months, feed not according to the schedule, and then, when the baby becomes restless, do not interrupt physical contact immediately after feeding - let the baby soak up some more time you in my arms. If you notice that the baby is angry with the bottle and is fiercely gnawing on the pacifier, do not take it away. If the bottle accidentally breaks in front of your baby, quickly bring a new one.

And one more thing: if a child is fed from a bottle, the woman may have the thought that the child does not really need it, because anyone can give a bottle: dad, nanny, grandmother. Advice: do not abuse this opportunity in the first 6-8 months, because at this time any child needs his mother to take care of him.