In almost any children's group there are brawlers and bullies who like to show their strength. High levels of aggression in children can become a real problem for others. At a minimum, it increases the anxiety of all parties to the conflict. At most, it can lead to an accident. Therefore, it is important to identify such children in time and then teach them to control their emotions. How to help your child cope with anger, and what is really behind aggression?

Portrait of an aggressive child

To begin with, it is worth clarifying that aggression and aggressiveness are far from the same thing. Aggression is a one-time act that goes against generally accepted moral and ethical standards, and its result is psychological or physical harm. Aggression is a way of expressing oneself in society, behavior that has become habitual. In addition, it is worth distinguishing between aggression and anger in a child. Negative emotions and disagreement can and should find another way out and should not result in harm to others.

In fact, children's aggressiveness has very specific criteria. This is a child who often:

• cannot control himself;
• conflicts with adults, swears or argues;
• envies and takes revenge;
• deliberately irritates others, infuriates them, offends them;
• refuses to follow rules;
• blames others for his mistakes;
• gets angry and refuses to do anything;
• overly sensitive to the words and actions of both adults and children.

At the same time, we can talk about aggressiveness as pathological behavior if at least 4 of the above signs appear within six months. In this case, it is important not to hesitate, but to help the child adapt to society. To do this, you need to establish the causes of aggression and understand what really stands behind it.

Causes of childhood aggression

Aggression is not a natural character trait. The child is initially positively disposed towards the world. It’s not for nothing that the first emotional manifestation is a smile. The prerequisites for aggression are created by the environment in which he is brought up and grows.

• Example one. The baby is forbidden to play in the sand, pick up pebbles, run fast, or pick leaves. He is constantly pulled back and scolded. If you break a toy, it means you are bad, a scoundrel. He feels pressure and injustice, thinks that he is being rejected. Moreover, completely natural emotions of anger and resentment are prohibited. The child rebels - shows aggression towards adults, takes it out on children.
• Example two. The family indulges the child’s whims; he does not know the word “no.” But sooner or later he has to face a situation of dissatisfaction. The kindergarten teacher forbade running for lunch, or a peer did not share a toy, or something else. In any case, the baby is indignant - he is not used to it.

Thus, aggressiveness is nothing more than a lack of self-control, an inability to express anger in a peaceful way. It must be taken into account that the child learns by example. Seeing domestic violence, he learns a lesson: “If I don’t agree with something, I can hit or punish someone else.” “If I’m angry and swear, people are afraid of me.” Another example is provided by films and fairy tales. Almost all modern heroes show strength, fight with someone, and win. Time dictates: if you want to be a leader, win. In other words, find an anti-hero and beat him up.

What is behind aggressive behavior?

As a result of surveys of schoolchildren, psychologists found that aggressive children do not consider themselves as such. Rather, on the contrary, they feel like victims, offended, rejected. Aggressive behavior is formed, akin to fear, from distrust of the world around us.

What really motivates a child when he is violent towards others?

• The desire to become a leader, to win sympathy.
• Low self-esteem, the desire to hide it, protection.
• Lack of attention from parents, aggression as a way to attract attention.
• Imitating peers, not wanting to be a black sheep.

An aggressive child sees no other way out but to attack in order to get this or that benefit or reaction from other people. And the more such behavior is reinforced by positive results, the more difficult it is to change it.

Manifestations of aggression at different ages

Once, at an appointment with a psychologist, my mother complained: “My son has been like this since childhood - he bit, pushed me, and beat me.” To which he replied: “A child who grows up in an atmosphere of love and understanding, among friendly and loving people, has no prerequisites for aggressiveness.” In reality this is true. The fewer reasons for dissatisfaction, the clearer the example of how to respond positively to unpleasant circumstances, the less reason for aggression.

From the early childhood the child learns to interact with others. He perceives himself as the center of the universe and sincerely does not understand why all his desires and needs cannot be satisfied. The parents’ task is to gently explain and show that sometimes certain rules need to be followed.

Why can a child show aggression at different ages?

• Up to a year. Restriction of movement, as well as hygiene procedures: rinsing the nose, trimming nails, can cause dissatisfaction in the baby. Some children don't like dressing up to go outside. Aggression manifests itself in pushing away, demonstrative throwing of toys and things. But the passion for biting is usually caused by the desire to establish contact with the mother. With positive reinforcement (for example, a reaction with laughter), the action is repeated.
• 1-2 years. At this age, the child begins to be interested in other people, he actively explores the world and tries to establish contacts. Aggression can be caused by frequent prohibitions, especially inconsistent ones. For example, today it is possible, but tomorrow it is not. Or when the mother first scolds and punishes, and then immediately kisses and rewards with a toy or sweets.
• 2-3 years. The baby does not feel the pain caused to another, is not able to put himself in someone else’s place. Moreover, he is self-centered. Cruelty and aggression can manifest themselves in the desire to possess some kind of toy, when a conflict of interests arises with other children. Anger is also caused by parental prohibitions on what one really wants. Aggressive behavior is reinforced by scolding, physical punishment, insults, and isolation.
• 3-4 years. The child no longer dares to express anger at his parents and transfers it to objects or other children. Anger may arise due to strict rules or unfair punishment. How adults respond to behavior plays a crucial role. Permissiveness, as well as excessive severity, leads to aggressiveness.
• 4-5 years and older. By this age, basic behavioral reactions are established. The child finds his own way of resolving conflicts, relieving stress, anger, and acts the same way in most situations. In addition, he begins to delve into social connections, learns to build different relationships With different people. An important role is played by understanding goodness, cultivating empathy and mercy. Aggression can manifest itself in more subtle ways, through verbal insults, planned revenge, and refusal to communicate. Often the child adopts the behavior of his parents.

How to respond to aggressive behavior?

The correct reaction of adults to aggression solves half the problem. You cannot respond in kind to your child, that is, scold and punish him for aggressive behavior. We need to convey and reinforce with our own example that any conflict can be resolved peacefully.

• At the moment of an outburst of rage, it would be correct to hug the child tightly from behind so that he cannot hit, and whisper in his ear that his emotions are understandable and normal. When the baby calms down, you need to find a peaceful way to solve the problem together.
• If a quarrel is brewing between children or it is noticeable that the child is angry, you need to switch his attention. It is important to consider that by this time the body is tense and ready for active action. Therefore, it is better to quickly start an active game: running a race, hide and seek, etc.
• You need to explain to a child that he was wrong through “I-messages.” It is wrong to say that he is bad, pugnacious, and they will not be friends with him. It’s better to say: “I’m upset that there was a fight.” “I want you to show others how kind and well-mannered you are.” “I enjoy watching you play cheerfully and peacefully, but when you fight, I feel sad.”

Correction methods

It is best if a qualified psychologist works with an aggressive child. Parental knowledge is often not enough to effectively correct behavior. Work with aggression is carried out in several directions:

• learning acceptable ways of expressing anger, dissatisfaction, anger;
• training in self-control, the ability to recognize negative emotions by sensations in the body and calm down in time;
• formation of the ability to empathize, trust, sympathize, and show mercy.

If the situation at home is tense or the child is going through a parental divorce, psychological counseling is recommended for all family members. To cope with aggression, it is important to place the child in a calm, friendly, loving environment. Neurological diseases require treatment.

Parents should also provide all possible support to their child. It is important to remember that he is aggressive only because he does not know how to do otherwise. Read below about ways to help cope with emotions.

What do you feel?

When a child is angry, you need to ask him to describe what he feels, where the feeling of anger is located in his body. Usually children describe in great detail how their cheeks are burning, their palms are tingling, their hearts are pounding, and they want to scream in their throats. It is important that the baby learns to listen to his feelings. You need to ask him to verbally report his condition. For example: “I’m very angry,” “You better not touch me, I might lose my temper.”

Name calling

Anger needs to be expressed in an acceptable way. For example, instead of offensive insults, it is better to use humorous name-calling. The parties to the conflict must agree on what words they will say to each other. For example: “You are a potato.” “And you are dill.” At the end, when anger is replaced by laughter, you need to end the skirmish a nice word: “And you are the sun (kitten, sugar).”

Aggression in older children can be calmed down with name-calling in poetic form. For example:

“Lenka - foam - sausage,
There's a wasp on a string.
Lenka - foam - sausage,
Rotten cabbage.
Ate a cat without a tail
And she said: “Delicious.”

Relaxing

As your child learns to recognize his anger, he needs to be taught self-control. One way is to relax. You need to ask the baby to pretend to be angry, and then try to lie down and relax. You need to close your eyes and imagine him swinging on the waves on an air mattress. You can do a light massage with nursery rhymes. The main thing is for the child to feel that anger is a temporary emotion that he is able to control.

Evil doll

You can give your baby a toy that does not have a very flexible character. We need to come up with and tell her story, ask our son or daughter to re-educate her. To prevent the game from becoming boring, the adult must actively participate in it, control the second doll, ask how the student is feeling, whether he has learned to deal with anger.

Scream bag

Another effective way get rid of anger and prevent aggression - scream into the bag. The child must be allowed to shout out any words, even the worst ones. He would rather do it now than later on the street. After the baby feels relief, the bag is shaken out the window.

Art therapy

You can offer an angry child a piece of paper and pencils and ask them to draw their feelings. At first, he will choose dark tones and press the pencil with force. As the pressure weakens, you need to offer new idea– depict happiness or a dream. Also good for art therapy Finger paint, which you can use to draw on canvas with your whole hand. Children 5 years and older can draw caricatures of their bully. At the final stage, the bad drawing is destroyed - torn or burned.

Action

If the child is very angry and relaxation is impossible, you need to show how to properly throw out the negativity. For example, having a pillow fight, throwing the ball basketball hoop, hit a punching bag, play bowling. It will also be useful to take an aggressive child to some sports section where he will spend his energy (swimming, martial arts, acrobatics).

Bottom line

So, the formation of aggression in children is significantly influenced by family relationships and methods of upbringing. Too strict rules, as well as permissiveness, can push a child to aggressive communication. It is important not to surround the child with prohibitions, but to explain and show by example how it is acceptable to behave and how not. Psychologists recommend using the word “impossible” no more than 5 times a day - only in cases when the child is going to do something really dangerous. Otherwise, you need to switch his attention. For example, if he tries to break a mug, you should give him a plastic cup with the words “try to throw this.” Or if you try to tear a book, give him an old newspaper that you can tear.

Of course, in order to curb a child’s aggression, the adult himself needs to moderate his emotions. To do this, during the next outburst of anger, you should ask the question: “What is going on in the child’s head at this moment?”

– verbal and physical activity aimed at causing harm to one’s own health, people, animals, and external objects. Based on negative emotions, the desire to harm. Manifested by disobedience, irritability, cruelty, insults, slander, threats, refusal to communicate, acts of violence (bites, blows). Diagnosed by a psychiatrist or psychologist. The research is carried out using the method of conversation, observation, questionnaires, questionnaires, and projective tests are used. Treatment includes group and individual psychotherapy - training in ways to control emotions and safely express anger.

General information

Aggressive behavior is detected in children of all ages. It primarily serves as a way of expressing negative emotions - irritation, anger, anger. Observing the result of such behavior, the child evaluates its usefulness. Secondarily, he demonstrates aggression with a specific goal - to get toys, food, to attract the attention of parents, to prove strength, importance, to subjugate others. The more often the desired is achieved, the more firmly aggressiveness is consolidated in behavior, becoming a quality of character. The prevalence of this phenomenon is difficult to determine, since every child displays aggression throughout his life. In boys it occurs earlier and is open in nature. In girls it manifests itself indirectly.

Causes of aggressive behavior in children

The causes of aggression are varied - accumulated emotional stress, the inability to express resentment in words, lack of attention from adults, the desire to get someone else's toy, to show strength to peers. Often children harm others or themselves because they feel helpless, sad, resentful, but cannot understand their own condition and do not have the communication skills to resolve the problem. The following groups of causes of aggressiveness are distinguished:

• Family relationships. The formation of aggression is facilitated by demonstrations of cruelty, violence, disrespect, frequent conflicts in the family, and parental indifference. The child copies the behavior of the mother, the father - argues, provokes fights, openly shows anger, disobedience in order to attract attention.
• Personal characteristics. The instability of the emotional state is manifested by anger and irritation. Fear, fatigue, poor health are expressed through aggression, and feelings of guilt and low self-esteem are compensated for.
• Features of the nervous system. Children with an unbalanced weak type of central nervous system are prone to aggression. They tolerate stress less well and are less resistant to the effects of physical and psychological discomfort.
• Socio-biological factors. The severity of aggressiveness is determined by the child’s gender, role expectations, and social status. Boys are often instilled with the idea that a man should be able to fight, to “fight back.”
• Situational factors. Emotional lability childhood manifests itself in outbreaks of irritation and anger when accidentally exposed to external unfavorable events. A child can be provoked by a bad school grade, the need to do homework, physical discomfort caused by hunger, or a tiring trip.

Pathogenesis

The physiological basis of children's aggressiveness is an imbalance in the processes of excitation-inhibition of the central nervous system, the functional immaturity of individual brain structures responsible for the control of emotions and behavior. When exposed to a stimulus, excitation predominates, and the process of inhibition “lags.” The psychological basis of children's aggressiveness is a low ability for self-regulation, lack of developed communication skills, dependence on adults, and unstable self-esteem. Children's aggression is a way to relieve stress during emotional, mental stress, and poor health. Purposeful aggressive behavior is focused on getting what you want and protecting your own interests.

Classification

Many classifications of aggressive behavior have been developed. Based on the direction of actions, a distinction is made between heteroaggression – causing harm to others, and auto-aggression – causing harm to oneself. Based on etiological characteristics, reactive aggression is distinguished, which occurs as a reaction to external factors, and spontaneous, motivated by internal impulses. The classification according to the form of manifestation is of practical importance:

• Expressive aggression. Demonstration methods – intonation, facial expressions, gestures, postures. Diagnostically difficult option. Aggressive acts are not recognized or denied by the child.
• Verbal aggression. It is realized through words - insults, threats, swearing. The most common option among schoolgirls.
• Physical aggression. Damage is caused using physical force. This form is common among young children and schoolchildren (boys).

Symptoms of aggressive behavior in children

Basic manifestations of aggression are observed in infants up to one year old. In children aged 1-3 years, conflicts arise due to the appropriation of toys and other personal belongings. Children bite, push, fight, throw objects, spit, scream. Attempts by parents to suppress the child's reactions with punishments aggravate the situation. In preschoolers, physical expression of aggression is observed less frequently, since speech is actively developing and its communicative function is being mastered. The need for communication is growing, but productive interaction is hampered by egocentricity, the inability to accept someone else’s point of view, and to objectively assess the interaction situation. Misunderstandings and grievances arise that give rise to verbal aggression - swearing, insults, threats.

Younger schoolchildren have a basic level of self-control and are able to suppress aggression as a way of expressing resentment, displeasure, and fear. At the same time, they actively use it to protect their interests and defend their point of view. Beginning to be determined gender characteristics aggressiveness. The boys act openly, use physical force - they fight, trip them, “snap” them on the forehead. Girls choose indirect and verbal methods - ridicule, giving nicknames, gossip, ignoring, silence. Representatives of both sexes show signs of low self-esteem and depression.

In adolescence, aggression arises as a result of hormonal changes and the accompanying emotional lability and complication of social contacts. There is a need to prove your importance, strength, and relevance. Aggression is either suppressed, replaced by productive activities, or takes extreme forms - boys and girls fight, injure opponents, and attempt suicide.

Complications

Frequent aggressiveness, reinforced by upbringing and a dysfunctional family environment, is fixed in the child’s personality traits. TO adolescence Characterological traits are formed based on anger, bitterness, and resentment. Accentuations and psychopathy develop - personality disorders with a predominance of aggression. The risk of social maladjustment, deviant behavior, and crime increases. With auto-aggression, children harm themselves and attempt suicide.

Diagnostics

Diagnosis of aggressive behavior in children is relevant when the frequency and severity of manifestations are excessive. The decision to see a psychiatrist or psychologist is made by parents independently or after the recommendation of teachers. The basis of the diagnostic process is the clinical conversation. The doctor listens to complaints, finds out anamnesis, and additionally studies the characteristics of kindergarten, schools. Objective research includes the use of special psychodiagnostic methods:

• Questionnaires, observation. Parents and teachers are asked to answer a number of questions/statements about the characteristics of the child’s behavior. Observation is carried out according to a scheme that includes a number of criteria. The results make it possible to establish the form of aggression, its severity, and causes.
• Personality questionnaires. Used to examine adolescents. They identify the presence of aggressiveness in the general structure of the personality and ways to compensate for it. Common methods are the Leonhard-Smishek questionnaire, the pathocharacterological diagnostic questionnaire (Lichko).
• Drawing tests. The severity of symptoms, causes, and unconscious emotions are determined by the features of the drawings. The tests used are Non-existent animal, Cactus, Human.
• Interpretive tests. They belong to projective methods, they reveal the unconscious, hidden experiences of the child. The examination is carried out using the Rosenzweig Frustration Reactions Test, Hand-test (hand test).

Treatment of aggressive behavior in children

With severe aggression, correction is required using psychotherapy methods. The use of medications is justified when anger, impulsivity, and bitterness are symptoms of a mental disorder (psychopathy, acute psychosis). It is impossible to cure aggressiveness forever; it will arise in a child in certain life situations. The task of psychologists and psychotherapists is to help resolve personal problems, teach adequate ways to express feelings, resolve conflict situations. Common correction methods include:

• . Presented with express methods of safe expression of aggression. The child is encouraged to throw out anger, irritation, anger without harm to others. Games with a ball, bulk materials, water, and “leaves of anger” are used.
• Communication trainings. Group work allows the child to develop effective communication strategies, ways of expressing emotions, defending his position without harming others. Children receive feedback (reactions of participants), analyze successes and mistakes with a psychotherapist.
• Relaxation activities. Aimed at reducing anxiety and emotional tension - factors that increase the risk of outbursts of aggressiveness. Children learn to restore deep breathing, achieve muscle relaxation, and switch attention.

Prognosis and prevention

Aggressive behavior of children is successfully corrected with the joint efforts of parents, teachers, and psychologists. The prognosis is favorable in most cases. To prevent the consolidation of aggression as the preferred method of interaction, it is necessary to adhere to a harmonious parenting style, demonstrate ways to resolve conflicts peacefully, treat the child with respect, and allow expressions of anger in a safe form. Don't focus on minor aggressive behavior. When discussing manifestations of aggressiveness, it is important to talk about actions, but not about personal qualities (“you acted cruelly”, not “you are cruel”).

Parent meeting

"Children's aggression"

Objectives of the meeting:

1 . Discuss with parents the causes of child aggression and its impact on the child’s behavior.

2. To form among parents a culture of understanding the problem of childhood aggression and ways to overcome it.

Participants: class teacher, parents of class children

Man has the ability to love,

and if he cannot find a use for his

ability to love, he is capable of hating,

showing aggression and cruelty. By this means

he is guided as an escape from his own

heartache...

Erich Fromm

Dear moms and dads. Our theme new meeting serious and difficult. This is the theme of our children displaying cruelty and aggression.

The age of manifestation of aggression has clearly become younger. Aggression is shown not only by teenagers and adults, but also by children. What is this connected with?

How to deal with childhood aggression? And how we, adults, can help children overcome it. We will try to answer these and other questions today.

Aggression is behavior that causes harm to an object or objects, a person or a group of people.

Aggression can be physical (using physical force against another person or object, fighting), verbal (violating the rights of another person without physical intervention, quarreling, shouting, screaming), and auto-aggression (self-blame, self-humiliation, self-harm)

Compiled by parents portrait of an aggressive child . (work in groups, presentation of a portrait created by each group)

The teacher writes down key words on the board: calls names, fights, is rude, takes revenge, gets angry and refuses to do anything, deliberately irritates people, is emotionally unstable, blames others for his mistakes.

Aggressive behavior in children is a kind of SOS signal, a cry for help, for attention to one’s inner world, in which too many destructive emotions have accumulated that the child is unable to cope with.

The level of aggressiveness of children varies depending on the situation to a greater or lesser extent, but sometimes aggression takes stable forms. There are many reasons for this behavior: the child’s position in the team, the attitude of peers towards him, relationships with teachers.

The persistent aggressiveness of some children is manifested in the fact that they sometimes understand the behavior of others differently than others, interpreting it as hostile.

Analysis of children's questionnaires.

The teacher introduces parents to the level of aggressiveness of the children in the class based on the results obtained during a preliminary survey.

The teacher invites parents to work in groups and identify the causes of aggressive behavior in children. A representative from each group reads out possible reasons, and the teacher writes them on the board.

Causes:

1. Disease of the central nervous system.

2. Disturbed research activity of the child.

It is more common in children with developmental disorders of the emotional sphere - they cannot assess the emotional consequences of their activity (he poked a dog with his foot and ran away - what will happen?).

The child’s energy must find a way out, otherwise the accumulated excess energy will turn into aggression.

4. Various violations of family education.

Common cause Child aggression is a family situation.

Aggressive behavior of family members in everyday life situations: shouting, swearing, rudeness, sarcasm and irony, humiliation of each other, mutual reproaches and insults. Psychologists believe that a child shows aggression in everyday life several times more often where he saw aggression from adults every day, and it became the norm of his life.

Inconsistency of parents in teaching children rules and norms of behavior. This method of raising children is bad because the children do not develop a moral core of behavior: today it is convenient for parents to say one thing, and they impose this line of behavior on the children, tomorrow it is convenient for them to say something else, which is again imposed on the children.

For example, today is “light” lessons, you don’t have to go to school, I’ll write a note to the teacher saying you’re not feeling well. The parents of this child should not be surprised if in a couple of years he writes a note himself

teacher and sign for father or mother.

This leads to confusion, anger, and aggression against parents and other people.

In recent years, psychologists have separately considered the cause of childhood aggression as the media. The child begins to be influenced by television programs, movies, and detective stories filled with various manifestations of aggression. Throughout their school years, children spend almost 15 thousand hours watching TV. During this time, they see on average about 13 thousand cases of violent death. Psychologists have found that children who have seen many acts of violence on television are more prone to aggressive actions than children who have not seen them. Computer games also contribute to this. By committing virtual acts of violence in them, the child ceases to see the line between the game and reality.

In preparation for parent meeting We conducted a study of children's attitudes towards television programs. I suggest you familiarize yourself with its results.

Prevention of aggressive behavior.

To prevent childhood aggression, it is very important to cultivate an atmosphere of warmth, care and support in the family. A sense of security and confidence in parental love contribute to a more successful development of the child.

It is necessary to be consistent in your actions towards children.

The demands placed on children must be reasonable, and their fulfillment must be insisted upon, making it clear to the children what is expected of them.

Unnecessary use of force and threats to control children's behavior should be avoided.

Help your child learn to control himself and develop a sense of control.

Let your child know that aggressive behavior will never bring benefits.

Teach your child to talk about his experiences, to call things by their proper names: “I’m angry,” “I’m offended,” “I’m upset.”

Don't call your child stupid, dumb, etc. - He will behave the same way with other children.

The more aggression on your part, the more hostility will arise in the child’s soul.

Sometimes a child just needs understanding, and just one kind word can relieve his anger.

Encouragement is of great importance in raising children: in a word, a look, a gesture, an action.

Punishment is also very significant for a person if:

it immediately follows the offense;

explained to the child;

it is harsh, but not cruel;

it evaluates the child's actions, not human qualities.

Methods for expressing suppressed anger:

Let the child remain alone in the room and express everything that has accumulated to the person who angered him.

Invite him, when it is difficult to restrain himself, to kick and punch a special pillow, tear up a newspaper, kick a ball, or run around the house.

Give your child advice: at a moment of irritation, before saying or doing anything, take a few deep breaths or count to ten.

It helps to calm down. You can also listen to music, sing loudly or shout along to it.

You can ask your child to draw the feeling of anger. Then aggression will find a way out in creativity.

Tips for parents “How to manage the behavior of their aggressive children”:

pay special attention to the child’s games. In games, children realize their dreams, fantasies and fears;

discuss with the child who he wants to be like, what character traits attract him and what repel him;

Be careful about the example you set for your child. If a child judges other people, rewards them with “labels,” perhaps he repeats your words;

be prepared to listen carefully to your child if he wants to tell you his dream. In their dreams, children often see what they lack in life. Special attention pay attention to recurring dream plots;

encourage the child to talk about what worries him, what he is experiencing; teach your child to speak directly about his feelings, about what he likes and what he doesn’t.

Our meeting is coming to an end. I really want it to be useful for you and make you think.

Here are some tips:

Learn to hear your children.

Try to make sure that only you, the parents, relieve their emotional stress.

Don't stop your children from expressing negative emotions.

Learn to accept and love them for who they are.

Decision of the meeting.

Observe your child’s emotional state in different environments.

Focus on positive emotions.

Follow family rules for overcoming childhood aggression .

Attachments to parent meetings

« Causes and consequences of childhood aggression"

Annex 1.

Questionnaire for students

Most often I am happy when ________________________________________

Most often I laugh when ___________________________________________

Most often I have good mood, When _________________________

Most often I cry when __________________________________________

Most often I get angry when _________________________________________________

Most often I get offended when ________________________________________________

I feel good when I am _____________________________________________________

I feel bad when I _____________________________________________

Appendix 2.

Test for students

Here are 10 expressions that characterize a person. Emphasize those qualities that you think apply to you. There should be no more than five.

I am kind

I'm angry

I am patient

I'm impatient

I'm stubborn

I am indifferent

I - good friend

I'm smart

I am the assistant

I'm touchy

Appendix 3.

REMOVAL EXERCISES

STRONG EMOTIONAL TENSION:

« FLY ».

Sit comfortably: place your hands loosely on your knees, shoulders and head down, eyes closed. Mentally imagine that a fly is trying to land on your face. She sits on the nose, then on the mouth, then on the forehead, then on the eyes. It is necessary to drive away the annoying insect without opening your eyes.

« LEMON ».

Sit comfortably: place your hands loosely on your knees (palms up), shoulders and head down, eyes closed. Mentally imagine what you have in your right hand there is a lemon. Start squeezing it slowly until you feel that you have squeezed out all the juice. Relax. Remember how you feel. Now imagine that the lemon is in your left hand. Repeat the exercise. Relax again and remember the sensations. Then - with both hands at the same time. Relax. Enjoy a state of peace.

« ICICLE » (« ICE CREAM »).

Stand up, close your eyes. Raise your hands up. Imagine that you are an icicle or ice cream. Tighten all the muscles in your body. Remember these feelings. Freeze in this pose for1-2 minutes. Then imagine that under the influence of the sun's heat you begin to slowly melt. Gradually relax your hands, then the muscles of your shoulders, neck, body, legs, etc. Remember the sensations in a state of relaxation. Perform the exercise until you achieve an optimal psycho-emotional state.

« BALLOON ».

Stand up, close your eyes, raise your arms up, take a breath. Imagine that you are big balloon, filled with air. Stand in this position1-2 minutes, tensing all the muscles of the body. Then imagine that a small hole appears in the ball. Slowly begin to release the air, while simultaneously relaxing the muscles of the body: hands, then the muscles of the shoulders, neck, core, legs, etc. Remember the sensations in a state of relaxation. Perform the exercise until you achieve an optimal psycho-emotional state.

« UP THE RAINBOW ».

Stand up, close your eyes, take a deep breath and imagine that with this inhalation you are climbing up a rainbow, and, exhaling, sliding down it like a slide. The inhalation should be as complete and smooth as possible, as well as the exhalation. There should be a short pause between the exhalation and the next inhalation. Repeat3 times.

Appendix 4.

Questionnaire for parents

Parents are presented with 10 character traits. It is necessary to note those qualities that are most pronounced in the child and rank them according to the degree of expression in the child’s behavior:

Kindness

Sympathy

Agreeableness

Patience

Empathy

Indifference

Stubbornness

Aggressiveness

Intolerance

Selfishness

Appendix 5.

Methodology for parents “Portrait of my child”

How does your child relate to you, the parents?

What affects him most: affection, request, demand, threat, punishment?

What is the role of the child in the family? His duties, rights?

Does the child have friends?

Where, how, and with whom does your child spend his free time?

What educational activities and subjects does your child like?

Which family member is his authority?

What would you like to change in your child?

Do you like his hobbies?

Do you often praise your child?

Do you scold or punish your child for something?

What do you call your child at home?

What do you like to do at home with your child?

Do you consider your child to be independent? Why?

How often does your son (daughter) turn to you for help, and with what?

What is your child like?

Does your child notice the mood or pain of any family members?

Can he show compassion and pity?

Does he know how to keep his word and feel responsible for the assigned task?

Does your child often get offended? Are his grievances sufficiently justified?

Does he know how to rejoice in the successes of his friends and loved ones?

If you scare a child, what words do you use?

If you praise your child, then for what and how?

Briefly about the child's health.

Is your child sometimes aggressive?

In what situations does he show aggression?

Who is he showing aggression against?

What are you doing in your family to overcome your child’s aggressiveness?

Appendix 6

Memo for parents on preventing children's aggression.

• Do not give your child unrealistic promises, do not fill his soul with unrealistic hopes.

  Do not put any conditions on your child.

  Be tactful in taking measures to influence the child.

  Don't punish your child for what you allow yourself to do.

  Do not change your requirements for your child for the sake of anything.

  Do not blackmail your child with your attitude towards him.

  Don't put your relationship with own child depending on his educational success.

Memo for parents 2

Dear fathers and mothers!

Please read this memo carefully! To do this, arm yourself with a pencil and cross out those items that do not concern your family’s educational system. Mentally imagine your child’s face, be honest with him and with yourself! After analysis, think about what else you can change. While your child is inabout the secondclass, not too late!

A child’s aggressiveness manifests itself if:

the child is beaten;

the child is being bullied;

they make cruel jokes on the child;

the child is made to feel a sense of undeserved shame;

parents deliberately lie;

parents drink and get into trouble;

parents raise their child with double morals;

parents are undemanding and unauthoritative for their child;

parents do not know how to love their children equally;

parents do not trust the child;

parents pit the child against each other;

parents do not communicate with their child;

entrance to the house is closed to the child’s friends;

parents show petty care and concern to the child;

parents live their own lives, the child feels that he is not loved.

To overcome children's aggression in their pedagogical arsenal, parents must have: attention, sympathy, patience, exactingness, honesty, openness, commitment, kindness, affection, carethat,trust, understanding, sense of humor, responsibility, tact.

The causes of childhood aggression are varied. Often this is the inability to express one's feelings in any way other than direct physical action. Children break toys, hit and bite adults because they do not have the skills to communicate in any other way. Like adults, all children experience unpleasant experiences from time to time:

• uncertainty;
• fear;
• jealousy and resentment;
• loneliness.

An adult is able to assess the consequences before taking action, but a child is not. The task of a good parent is to help the child worry strong feelings so as not to cause harm to yourself or others. Expressing feelings is very important, and even more important is learning to acknowledge them.

Why does childhood aggression occur?

Often parents want to relieve themselves of responsibility for the child’s behavior, however, practice shows that all children prone to destructive behavior are brought up in dysfunctional families.

What is a dysfunctional family? This is a union of people where hidden or overt violence occurs against one or many members. Violence can take different shapes, for example, physical violence, imposition of one’s point of view, invasion of personal space. If a grandmother vehemently criticizes a mother’s decisions and destroys her authority in the child’s eyes, this is psychological abuse. If the baby's father quarrels with the mother and shows disrespect for her, this also shows a lack of love and support in the family structure.

Accepting some of your responsibility is the first step towards helping your child. Children raised in families with a toxic emotional environment are often depressed from infancy and early childhood. preschool age. They have difficulty interacting with other children and have difficulty socializing. If such children develop younger brothers or sisters, they often cannot cope with jealousy and act angry and hostile towards the kids.

There are known cases where older children beat younger ones, threw them from a height and smothered them with a pillow. It will be very useful for parents to read professional books on child psychology in order to understand what motivates their child.

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Who is to blame and what to do?

It is widely believed that violent television shows, computer games and books have a negative impact on a person’s growing up. However, a child who is kind and generous, bonds easily with other children and is concerned about the well-being of others will not choose such TV shows, games and books because it does not suit his inclinations.

It is easier for parents to blame the TV, computer or publishing houses for everything than to think about what they themselves have done to make their child safe at home. How have they taught him to deal with his feelings, and how well do they deal with them themselves? Parents are interested in the question of how to defeat children's aggression. However, the question needs to be posed differently: how to help a child become kinder? Children's aggressive behavior usually occurs gradually, from small incidents to large ones.

Sometimes the appearance of aggression is preceded by trauma, for example, the departure of a father from the family or the death of a grandmother.

Then the child expresses grief and anxiety by imposing his desires on others; he can start scandals in the store, set fire to other people’s things, steal and destroy the parent’s reputation with any accessible ways. What can be done when a child’s behavior becomes uncontrollable:

It is necessary to draw up a clear system of rules about what is allowed and what is prohibited. For each age, these will be their own rules, for example, for a child of 8 years old, you can go for a walk, taking a cell phone with you. And for a child aged 4 years old, going out alone, running away and getting lost is not allowed. If the rules are created and voiced, they cannot be deviated from, especially if the child tries to achieve this through manipulation, tantrums, hitting and biting.

It is necessary to create conditions in which the baby could exercise his power and splash out physical energy. Outdoor games are suitable for such purposes. Older children can be sent to the wrestling section, swimming, running or other active sports. During attacks of anger or rage, a large outburst of emotions occurs that is beyond the child’s control.

Physical activity helps to shift attention and relieve muscle tone. This aspect of help is extremely important, because prohibitions and suggestions do not have a positive effect on the child’s condition. Often the suppression of feelings causes the occurrence of psychosomatic diseases such as allergic reactions, bronchial asthma, gastritis, constipation and diarrhea, headaches.

Exercising helps to relax the body, relieve tension and rationally distribute the load across all muscle groups. In addition to this, sport will be a good area for realizing a child’s leadership qualities and will provide an opportunity to increase self-esteem. Children who show aggression are always children with low self-esteem who perceive any defeats negatively. Chronic poor posture that occurs in early age as a reaction to stress, leads to the development of spinal curvature, which negatively affects health internal organs. Strengthening the muscle corset through sports helps reduce potential harm to the child.

A very important skill that a parent gives a child is the ability to verbally express their feelings without resorting to physical force. You need to show how this is done by personal example. Instead of yelling or spanking your child, you should say that you are angry and explain why. Unfortunately, parents do not always have such skills, so it is difficult for them to pass on this experience to their children.

In all cases where parents seek help from a competent child psychologist, the specialist examines not the child’s behavior individually, but the entire family structure as a whole. For parents, this usually turns out to be a big surprise, because it seemed to them that it was the child who needed to change, and adults also needed changes.

A dysfunctional family can be very healthy from an outside observer's perspective.

In such families there may be a mother, a father, children, and pets. The only thing missing from this structure is healthy relationships.

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Seeking Professional Help

If a child's behavior becomes a threat to himself or to the safety of other children, you should not hesitate to contact a child psychologist. It happens that children cause serious harm to the health of their brothers, sisters and peers. Manifestations of aggression among children and adolescents cause damage to the property of schools, kindergartens and other public institutions.

Parents bear financial responsibility for the actions of minors. If you cannot cope with childhood aggression on your own, you need to turn to a professional. In other cases, the child directs destructive energy towards himself, which leads to an increased risk of fractures, falls from heights, bruises and other injuries. This behavior is called auto-aggression.

In mild cases, auto-aggression manifests itself as an inability to take care of one’s needs, for example, eating on time, dressing for the weather, or doing homework in advance. In severe cases, especially in adolescents, it leads to risky and destructive behavior, involvement in criminal adventures, and delinquency. Aggressive behavior leads to juvenile delinquency. It would seem, what is the relationship between a 4-year-old child who beats children with a shovel in the sandbox, and a teenager who beats passers-by and takes money from them? However, it is there.

Children from dysfunctional families have an increased risk of becoming chemically dependent, alcoholics and drug addicts. To take care of the health and well-being of the child, attention should be paid to his condition as early as possible. The decision about whether to treat a child with medications to calm him down can only be made by a specialist.

Children's aggression

What is aggression?

Aggression - This is physical or verbal (verbal) behavior aimed at causing harm to someone.

How does aggression manifest itself in children?

• Anger and indignation in the desperate crying of a baby, the reason for which is simple: the physiological needs of the child are unsatisfied. The aggressive reaction in this case is a reaction of the struggle for survival.
• Outburst of rage and physical attack on a peer, conflicts over the possession of toys in a 1.2-5 year old child. If parents at this age are intolerant of his behavior, then symbolic forms of aggressiveness may form as a result: whining, disobedience, stubbornness, etc.
• Screaming, crying, biting, stamping feet in a 3-year-old child, which are associated with the limitation of his “exploratory instinct”, with a conflict between insatiable curiosity and parental “no”.
• Pugnacity in boys, crying, squealing in girls of preschool age. Boys at this age show more aggressive tendencies than girls, since the latter are afraid of their manifestation for fear of punishment. While the environment treats boys’ aggression more favorably and tolerantly.
• In junior school age The most common acts of physical attack are among boys and more “socialized” forms of aggression among girls: insults, teasing, competition.
• Among adolescent boys, physical aggression (attacks, fights) continues to dominate, while among girls, negativism and verbal aggression (gossip, criticism, threats, swearing) continue to dominate.).

Is this always a bad thing?

Not always. Aggression has its own positive, healthy traits that are necessary for life.

This is perseverance, perseverance in achieving a goal, the desire to win, overcoming obstacles. Therefore, educational measures should not be aimed at completely eliminating aggressiveness from the character of children, but at limiting and controlling its negative traits, and encouraging its positive manifestations.

Causes of childhood aggression.

Aggression can occur in the following cases:

• as a reaction to frustration. This is an attempt to overcome an obstacle to meeting needs and achieving emotional balance.
• as a last resort when the child has exhausted all other options to meet his needs.
• As “learned” behavior, when a child acts aggressively, following a model (the behavior of parents, literary, film and television characters).

Also, the manifestation of aggressiveness is influenced by biological factors (features of the nervous system, heredity, biochemical factors).

When do you need specialist help?

Two types of child aggressiveness require special intervention:

First - when a child over five years old takes pleasure in torturing other children and animals. This type is rare, but always requires special treatment from a neuropsychiatrist.

Second - hyperactive child. Such a child is restless, aggressive, hurts everything and everyone, and has a trail of destruction and resentment behind him. The behavior of such a child is characterized by impulsiveness, rash actions, and violation of prohibitions. Such a child may be loving, generous, sweet at heart, but the biochemical imbalance of the cerebral cortex makes his behavior overactive. Such an impulsive child is the subject of concern for a doctor, who can prescribe the necessary medications.

Prevention of aggression

The best way to avoid excessive aggressiveness in a child is to show him love. There is no baby who, feeling loved, would be aggressive.

• Parents should try to understand the reasons for the child’s aggressive behavior and eliminate them.
• Give your child the opportunity to express his energy. Let him frolic alone or with a friend. Don't let your overreactive child sit idle. Let his energy be spent for “peaceful” purposes: sports, scientific clubs, “tinkering”, etc.
• Avoid watching films and TV shows with scenes of violence and cruelty.
• Help your child find friends, teach him to communicate with peers. In joint activities, children will quickly learn the norms of generally accepted behavior.
• Don't resort to physical punishment.
• Provide your child with a personal example of effective, kind behavior. Do not allow outbursts of anger and rage, insults of your colleagues, development of plans, revenge.

Treatment of aggression

Approximately the same methods are suitable for treating aggressiveness as for preventing it. For a child of this type there is only one thing kind words can relieve his anger. Do not consider such a child spoiled. If you start to think this way, you may experience a feeling of alienation and rejection of the child. He will definitely feel this too, and the feeling of loneliness among those closest to him can lead to the child becoming very difficult.

The child himself suffers most from aggressiveness: he is in a quarrel with his parents, he loses friends, he lives in constant irritation, and often fear. All this makes the child unhappy. Care and warmth are the best medicine for such a child. Let him feel at every moment that his parents love, appreciate and accept him. Let your child see that he is needed and important to you.