An engagement is an important event preceding a wedding. Our ancestors attached special meaning to this ritual, which is being revived in modern society.

Engagement - beautiful wedding ceremony, rooted in ancient times. It not only allows you to enjoy the anticipation and planning of your upcoming wedding, but also to think carefully about the decision to start a family.

Basic concepts and origins of engagement

Concept and meaning of engagement

Engagement is the process of officially announcing the decision to get married.

When a guy and a girl have announced their intention, they can already be considered the bride and groom. A month or more (up to six months) may pass from engagement to wedding. The most common practice is to officially announce the engagement three months before the intended wedding.

The logical conclusion of the engagement is the legalization of the relationship in the registry office, however, if the couple decides to separate, this does not contradict the rules of this ceremony. At this time, the newlyweds not only prepare for the wedding, but also test their feelings.
Followers of this tradition believe that it is better to take a closer look at each other during the so-called probationary period than to get a divorce a few months after the wedding.

After the engagement, the bride and groom resolve a number of organizational issues related to the wedding, involving their parents. Getting to know and close communication with parents is an important aspect of this period.

It is necessary to obtain the favor and support of your relatives, discuss with all members of the future family financial costs, the place of residence of the young people and the nuances of organizing their life. If a conclusion is provided marriage contract, it is signed during this period.

Historical excursion

The ritual of engagement has come to us since the times of Ancient Egypt. It was there that the tradition of wearing a wedding ring on ring finger, through which passes the artery that leads to the heart.

The essence of modern engagement is a little different from the meaning wedding ceremonies past centuries. The ancient Romans had other traditions: the groom had to present the bride's parents with a metal ring as a gift as a promise to support the bride after the wedding.

After the 15th century, customs changed: the ring was given to the bride, and this decoration had to be gold and always with a diamond - this stone, endowed, according to the people of that time, magical properties, was supposed to protect the married couple.

Engagement has long been associated with another tradition - matchmaking. The young man asked the girl’s hand in marriage from her parents and, in order to obtain their consent, gave a bride price. After some time, the tradition became the opposite - the bride prepared the dowry for her betrothed.

Today, the long-standing wedding tradition is being revived again. During the engagement, the young man gives his beloved a ring that will decorate her hand until the wedding day.

The ring is the main symbol of engagement

The main attribute of this ceremony is the engagement ring.

A young man, making a marriage proposal, gives his beloved this chic present, which she accepts as a sign of consent. According to the tradition of the Slavic peoples, engagement rings should be worn without removing them on the ring finger of the right hand - on the wedding day it will be replaced by a wedding ring.

If you refuse or change your decision to get married during the “probationary period,” the ring should be returned or not taken at all. If for some reason the groom changes his mind about starting a family, the ring remains with the bride.

The rule of wearing an engagement ring on the ring finger of the right hand is not universal. In some European countries (for example, Germany), this attribute decorates left hand brides In the end, it may turn out that the groom will not guess the size of the ring, and he will have to wear it on the finger to which it fits.

If you believe folk signs and beliefs, common in Slavic countries, The engagement ring should be removed on the wedding day and taken with you to the reception. After all the wedding ceremonies, it must be put on again. right hand over the wedding ring. If this is done, it is believed that the marriage will be long and happy.

In the future, the engagement ring can be occasionally worn over the wedding ring on major family occasions. It becomes a family heirloom and is passed on to generations of children and grandchildren.

Main stages of engagement

What is a classic engagement nowadays? This is a special pre-wedding ritual, which has several steps and incorporates the traditions of antiquity. If you want to preserve the special meaning of this ritual, follow all stages of the engagement celebration.

This key moment is the most exciting for a young couple. Proposing marriage, the young man gives the girl an engagement ring. There are still romantics who can get down on their knees and delight their beloved with a passionate poem about their feelings.


You can surprise your significant other with a non-standard approach to a marriage proposal: hide the ring in a glass of champagne, in a cake or in a flower bud.

Having received a positive response from his beloved, the potential groom asks permission for a family union from her parents.


At this moment, it is very important to make a good impression: do not be late for the appointed time and do not forget to present the future mother-in-law with a luxurious bouquet of flowers as a sign of respect, and the bride’s father with a bottle of elite alcohol (these gifts are considered the most classic, although you can deviate from them based on the circumstances ).

The official announcement of the decision to get married occurs at a family gathering, where parents from both sides are present. If they didn’t know each other before, an engagement celebration is an excellent opportunity to get to know each other and discuss everything organizational issues and financial costs of the wedding.


The most standard holiday option is a family dinner. According to Russian tradition, the engagement is celebrated at the bride's home (previously, the groom's relatives were sent to the bride's parents as matchmakers). If you have the opportunity to spend a holiday at your dacha, be sure to take advantage of it.
In the fresh air, future relatives will behave more relaxed and natural - they will find a place to keep secrets and will be able to do what they love.

After the official part, you can have a fiery party with friends. Depending on your preferences, go to a bowling club, a cafe or paintball. You can organize a fun disco or visit a nightclub.


For lovers of fresh air, a festive kayaking trip or gatherings around the fire with delicious barbecue and songs with a guitar are suitable.

The engagement celebration is your personal decision. There are no specific conventions here; the format and theme of the event should depend on the preferences of the young people and their guests. Some people like a noisy and fiery club-type party, others prefer a quiet family dinner in a cozy circle of their closest people.

We invite you to familiarize yourself with the most common options for celebrating this holiday.

Connoisseurs of long-standing traditions can organize a colorful celebration from the times of Kievan Rus. A professional presenter will help you follow all the rituals (you can find a “toastmaster” among your friends by introducing him to the event scenario).


The atmosphere should fully correspond to the stated theme, so take care of the decor of the room, the clothes of the guests and the festive menu (for example, bake pancakes and pies, decorate them in an unusual way). A wedding can also be organized in the same style.

European style buffet

The Western style of organizing holidays resembles a buffet or buffet. The party can be held either in a restaurant or at home. Send invitations to your guests, and at the end of the event, give them small souvenirs as keepsakes.


It is customary to come to such an event with gifts. For an engagement, you can give something that will be useful to the newlyweds. family life: (household appliances, bedding set, photo album, etc.), as well as memorable souvenirs reminiscent of the feelings of a young couple (for example, beautiful figurines, a painting or photo panel depicting lovers).

Letters of gratitude for attending an engagement party are another tradition that came to us from European countries. After the celebration, send photos to your guests by writing to back side nice words gratitude. You can also include a wedding invitation in the envelope if the date has already been determined.

If the groom wants to fully observe all the traditions of the European celebration, he should splurge heavily and present his beloved with a diamond ring.

Theme party

This is a bright and exciting holiday that will be remembered for a long time. However, such events are quite expensive and require a lot of space.


If possible, it is better to organize the event at a country house, in a rented cottage or in a restaurant. You can choose any theme: pirate, cowboy, medieval, retro, etc. You can choose an unusual place to organize a holiday - a beach, a yacht, a motor ship, a retro tram, etc.

An engagement is an event that primarily concerns the two of you, so celebrate it the way you want, not your friends or relatives.
Can you arrange something about this? romantic dinner in a restaurant and go on a trip to unknown places or for a walk, visiting the place where you first met or met on your first date.


If you have been living together for a long time, this holiday format will help you “revive” feelings suppressed by bustle and everyday life, and “breathe” romance into them.

In order not to forget about the main purpose of the engagement in the holiday bustle and enjoy it to the fullest, listen to the following tips for organizing it:

• The timing of the holiday party is the free choice of the young couple. It is a mistake to think that a banquet should be organized on the day of a marriage proposal or submission of an application to the registry office.
• An engagement is a small wedding rehearsal, so you need to think through all the details of the upcoming celebration: from decor and entertainment program to the menu.
• In the invitations, indicate what it will be like festive table. If guests are invited only for tea, they will have a snack in advance so as not to be hungry all evening.
• Regardless of the format of the celebration and the number of guests, spend more time with each other
• Capture the brightest moments of the holiday with a camera or video camera. If you are organizing a large-scale event, it would be advisable to invite a photographer.
• Don't combine your engagement party with your bachelorette or bachelorette party. These events have completely different meanings.
• As a rule, an engagement is celebrated in a narrow circle of relatives and friends; it is an informal event, which is always attended by less people than at a wedding celebration. Invite only those people who will be attending your wedding, otherwise resentment or conflict may ensue.
• If the wedding date has already been set. distribute invitations to everyone present as a souvenir
• An interesting idea is to gather everyone invited to a party without disclosing the reason. You can announce your intention to get married in an unusual way– for example, by showing a video or asking guests to solve a puzzle with a corresponding key phrase.
• If among the invitees there are people who do not know each other, try to liberate them and bring them closer together, otherwise it will be difficult to achieve a sparkling celebration at the wedding.
  Contact games and fun – so-called “ice breakers” – are suitable for this purpose. You can organize a photo booth, team competitions, and hold various children's games to have a lot of fun and laugh.
• Already at the engagement party, you can provide guests with a book of wishes for the future spouses. As a congratulations on your engagement, you can write to in a comic form, what should young people do for each other while waiting for marriage registration.

An engagement party is a grand event that makes you feel the joy of pre-wedding expectations, as well as comprehend the importance and responsibility of getting married.

Whatever the format of your holiday, it should be dedicated specifically to you - your feelings, the desire to enjoy each other and the feeling of warmth and happiness that others give about your desire to start a family.

Video: what is an engagement and how is it carried out?

Engagement is a reverent event that enhances the feelings of lovers. We’ll talk about traditions, customs and rules in the first video, and how the event is held in the second.

Conspired, betrothed Dictionary of Russian synonyms. engaged adj., number of synonyms: 2 engaged (4) ... Synonym dictionary

M. The one who is declared the groom. Dictionary Efremova. T. F. Efremova. 2000... Modern explanatory dictionary of the Russian language by Efremova

engaged- pom olven; briefly form ena, ena... Russian spelling dictionary

engaged- cr.f. pomo/lvlen, pomo/lvlena, leno, leny... Spelling dictionary of the Russian language

engaged- according to/say/en/th… Morphemic-spelling dictionary

Betrothed, betrothed, betrothed Dictionary of Russian synonyms. betrothed adj., number of synonyms: 4 betrothed (1) betrothed (2) ... Synonym dictionary

Matched, agreed, engaged, arranged, matched, persuaded Dictionary of Russian synonyms. agreed adj., number of synonyms: 7 agreed (8) ... Synonym dictionary

Twist, twist, twist what, twirl, twist, wrap, curl, wrap around, twirl, spin what; reed, knot. Our ropes are twisted by hand. The dust swirls like a whirlwind. The snowstorm is swirling. Spin the spinner once, the pinwheel. Cool it down... Dahl's Explanatory Dictionary

IMPRESSIONISM. I. in literature and art is defined as a category of passivity, contemplation and impressionability, applicable to one degree or another to artistic creativity at all times or periodically, in one form or another... ... Literary encyclopedia

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Books

• The Dancer's Knife, Arthur Conan Doyle. Baronet Coxville, a wealthy squire, owner of beautiful estates and antique collections, engaged to the young lady Marget, decides to commit suicide shortly before the wedding, and this is already the third...

Engagement is an important part of wedding traditions. This is a wonderful and unforgettable event in the life of a couple who decides to tie the knot.

What is engagement

The word “engagement” comes from the verb “engage,” which means “to agree, come to an agreement.” Previously, betrothal was also called a handshake or an agreement.

An engagement is the official announcement of a couple in love about their decision to get married. After the engagement is concluded, the boy becomes the groom, and the girl becomes the bride.

The time between engagement and wedding is necessary so that young people can test the strength of their feelings for each other and make sure that they are doing the right thing. In addition, during this period all organizational issues regarding the wedding are usually resolved.

Betrothal and Engagement: What's the Difference?

The concepts of “betrothal” and “engagement” are often confused. But it's not the same thing.

Betrothal is religious rite which is held in a church in the presence of clergy. During the engagement ceremony, young people exchange rings.

Engagement is not a religious event. It can take place at home or in a restaurant.

How to organize an engagement party

There are no strict rules governing how an engagement should be arranged. The lovers decide how to celebrate this event, depending on their preferences.

However, it will be better if the bride and groom get to know each other's parents before the engagement. This will allow you to find a common language with future relatives and establish good relationships with them.

When meeting parents, it is important to make a positive impression. You need to agree in advance on the time and place of the meeting. It’s good if the young man doesn’t come empty-handed.

You can give flowers to your future mother-in-law, and a bottle of quality cognac to your father-in-law. It would be a good idea to consult with the bride about gifts: she should know exactly what her parents will like.

You shouldn't arrange an engagement so that it is a surprise for your parents.

Nowadays, not all couples consider it necessary to obtain parental approval before getting engaged. Nevertheless in good form is considered to be the groom's visit to the bride's house, during which he asks for his beloved's hand in marriage from her parents.

Some young people ask for parental blessings. In Orthodoxy, this tradition is given special significance. In non-religious families, parents may simply say a few parting words.

What is needed for this

An important element of the engagement is the ring that a man gives to his beloved. This issue should be taken seriously.

Regarding size and appearance For rings, you can consult with your mother, sister or friend of the bride.

If a girl accepts the ring, it means that she agrees to get married. In case of termination of the engagement, the girl must return the ring to the groom.

The bride can also present a gift to her chosen one.

While an engagement doesn't necessarily have to be a lavish celebration, it is still an important day in every couple's life, so it's worth celebrating as such. You can have a fun party with many guests or celebrate with a small company of relatives and closest friends.

A few things to keep in mind:

• you need to decide in advance where and when the holiday will take place, draw up a list of guests, think over the menu;
• invitations must be sent out to guests in advance;
• you should not invite guests whom you do not intend to invite to the wedding - this is bad form;
• you need to think about the issue of photo and video shooting, because the couple will probably want to capture this day;
• The engagement is often timed to coincide with the day the application is submitted to the registry office, but this is not necessary.

Traditional ritual

Earlier wedding traditions were much more difficult. To get married, you had to go through several stages.

First, the girl was matched. The young man's parents visited the house of the potential bride's parents and discussed the possibility of marrying their children. If they came to an agreement, then the issue of dowry was discussed. Often, the desires of young people regarding future marriage were not taken into account. Everything was decided at the discretion of the parents.

After matchmaking, the guy and the girl were conventionally considered the bride and groom.

During this stage, it was still possible to terminate the wedding agreement. However, the party who wanted to suspend preparations for the wedding had to provide compelling reasons for such a decision in order to avoid shame.

The next step was hand cuffing. The parents agreed on the details of the engagement and discussed financial issues. The newlyweds organized a celebration at which they confirmed their status as bride and groom among their peers.

The final stage was engagement. This ceremony took place in a church in the presence of a priest and the couple's parents.

The newlyweds were supposed to exchange rings. First, the bride was given a silver one, and the groom was given a gold one. Then the rings were exchanged three times. As a result, the bride put a gold ring on her finger, and the groom kept a silver one.

The material of the rings did not differ by chance. Gold symbolized the reliability of the girl’s chosen one, silver symbolized the soft and submissive character of the bride. Nowadays, this custom is not observed, and those getting married exchange rings made of the same metal.

After the engagement, marriage was considered inevitable, because the young people announced their decision to become husband and wife before God.

Marriage did not immediately follow engagement. Usually the wedding date was set six months after the ceremony. This period served so that future spouses could prepare themselves spiritually for the most important event in their lives. Sometimes the period between these two rites was due to more practical reasons, for example, the groom's departure for military service.

Modern options

There are a lot of options for how to conduct an engagement party. Here are some of them.

A modest holiday

You can celebrate your engagement in a close family circle. This option is good because it allows you to communicate with your closest people in a cozy home atmosphere.

Such an event will not require large expenses and will provide an opportunity to have a more lavish wedding or go on a honeymoon.

Outdoors

A fun way to celebrate your engagement is to have a picnic. In nature, you can play fun outdoor games - this way you don’t have to worry about anyone getting bored. In addition, an outdoor holiday will not require too much preparation. You just need to take care of the treats and come up with a few competitions.

Theme party

This option will most likely turn out to be quite expensive, since theme party involves special costumes and special interior design. But if the financial issue does not bother the lovers, then all that remains is to decide on the theme of the celebration. Here ideas can be very different. Cowboys, pirates, the Middle Ages, Ancient Rus'... It all depends on the imagination and preferences of the future spouses.

European style

There are no strict rules in organizing such an engagement. It can be a chic social reception, a light buffet, or a modest home celebration.

Party invitations need to be sent out in advance. According to European traditions, guests give small gifts to the couple. It is also a Western custom to send thank-you cards to guests after the holiday.

Romantic evening

It is equally wonderful to celebrate this occasion by spending it alone with your significant other. You can have a romantic dinner at home or in a restaurant. You can walk along the beach or fly on hot-air balloon. There are a lot of options. The main thing is to choose something that will allow you to enjoy this day and remember it for a long time.

Betrothal ceremony

During the engagement, the bride and groom exchange rings, so it is important to take care of the rings in advance.

If a couple wants to get engaged in a church, then they must first select the temple where the ceremony will be held. It is also necessary to talk with the priest, discuss with him all the details of the upcoming event. Sometimes the priest gives young people advice - then it’s worth listening to them.

In addition, nowadays, betrothal in church quite often takes place immediately before the wedding. You should take this into account and prepare everything necessary for both ceremonies.

It is impossible to get married if the newlyweds have not officially registered their marriage in the registry office.

Church engagement

Church betrothal indicates the readiness of young people to enter into marriage and bear responsibility for it before God. Therefore, for believers this ritual is of great importance.

Engagement ceremony in Orthodox Church as follows:

1. After the end of the liturgy, the betrothed are in the vestibule of the church, facing the altar. The newlyweds stand separately: the bride is on the right, the groom is on the left.
2. The priest exits through the Royal Doors of the iconostasis, carrying the Cross and the Gospel in his hands, which are then placed on the lectern.
3. The priest approaches the future spouses, blesses them, hands them two lighted candles and leads them inside the church.
4. After this, incense and prayers begin.
5. The priest then takes the rings from the deacon and places them on the betrothed couple's fingers.
6. The bride and groom exchange them three times.

This concludes the betrothal ceremony, followed by the wedding.

Social event

Betrothal is not a mandatory ceremony. People for whom religion is not very important do not need to get engaged. Alternatively, they can organize an engagement party.

Wedding rings

Wedding rings are not easy wedding accessory. They are a symbol of the love of spouses and personify their family happiness.

How to choose

The bride and groom exchange wedding rings at the registry office. Traditionally they are smooth, made of a single metal, usually gold. But today, couples often choose rings that are made of several types of metal or decorated with precious stones. So it all depends on the taste and financial capabilities of the lovers.

Usually the groom buys the wedding rings, but it is better to choose them together. Since this jewelry is worn throughout your life, it is important to take your choice seriously. The rings must be the correct size. The width of the finger varies slightly depending on the time of year, physical activity and other factors. It would be nice to try it on wedding ring several times to make sure it is really comfortable.

An engagement ring is different from one given for an engagement.

The classic engagement ring is gold and diamond. Of course, the ring may look different. The only requirement is the presence of a precious or semi-precious stone.

Traditions and rituals of different countries

Each country has its own peculiarities related to engagement.

For example, in Germany, after an engagement, young people could start living together without waiting for marriage.

In Italy, after an engagement, a young man had the right to visit his future wife and talk with her under the supervision of his parents.

In Japan, during an engagement, the bride and groom met each other for the first time.

Ireland has interesting tradition: a girl can propose to her lover on February 29, and he has no right to refuse her.

How long does the engagement last?

Many people wonder how long after the engagement the wedding should take place. There are no hard and fast rules on this matter. On average, between these two events passes from a month to six months. During this period, lovers will have time to experience their feelings and prepare everything necessary for the wedding celebration.

Engagement: what does it mean?

A long time ago, when our great-grandparents got married, there were much more traditions and customs, and the role they played in people's lives was much more important. Such customs and traditions include engagement, formerly called “conspiracy.” This is an ancient and beautiful ritual that girls and boys looked forward to even more than their own wedding, because the entire future life of the couple depended on the agreement. Now the engagement as a rite has been transformed beyond recognition: it has become more unclear, symbolic in nature, and the rights and obligations imposed by this rite are not completely clear to many. Today we will try to figure out: what is an engagement, what are its rules and meaning, and is its conclusion really necessary?

The essence of engagement (“collusion”)

Different peoples put different meanings into this ritual: some believed that engagement is the moment when the groom and his matchmakers seek consent for marriage from the bride’s parents; someone was sure that an engagement was a moment of betrothal in the church (now there is no such thing). Some generally believe that an engagement means that the parents of the groom and the parents of the bride have agreed among themselves about the upcoming marriage, and the future newlyweds do not participate in this process at all. But the essence remains the same: this is an agreement between the bride and groom that they intend to get married. In this way, young people make it clear to their loved ones and everyone around them about their serious intentions towards each other.

The time between engagement and wedding is a kind of probationary period that a couple must go through to test their feelings. This tradition has been preserved in modern times: for example, according to the law, less than a month cannot pass between submitting an application to the registry office and registering a marriage, and more often this period is indicated at two months.

What does it mean to be engaged?

Today, many couples entering into an engagement understand the obligations imposed on them only intuitively. Everyone knows that an engagement is a kind of promise that can be terminated at any time. But is it? And what other obligations do you need to know about?

For a man, being engaged means being busy. The fact that a man is engaged means that he is engaged and has the intention of marrying the girl of his choice. Thus, an engagement eliminates the possibility of a man having romantic or similar relationships with other women, and also makes it clear to the women around him that the young man can no longer be the target of flirtation or any hopes.

For a girl, getting engaged means the same thing; in addition, it shows the seriousness of the man’s intentions towards her. This is especially important for women: the realization that your relationship is rapidly moving towards creating a family. The new status of “bride” gives the girl confidence in her partner, and also changes the perception in the eyes of his friends and relatives.

Broken engagements happen for a variety of reasons. As in the case of marriage, the reason for a breakup can be discord in the couple, betrayal, parental disagreement and many other reasons. The engagement has no time limit, it all depends on the couple, but most often occurs 6-12 months before the wedding.

Engagement Rules

In today's realities, the rules for holding an engagement are quite chaotic. In general terms, the following mandatory points can be identified.

• The parents of the bride and groom must know each other. If you introduce your parents in advance, the risk of unpleasant surprises will be significantly reduced. Remember that this stage of their children's relationship is also important for parents, and they may become too hostile towards your spouse or her parents if given a reason. Therefore, it is better to follow this rule.
• An engagement most often involves presenting some kind of gift to family members. There can be different variations here: the groom can give the bride a ring, gifts to her parents (as was done before), parents can exchange gifts with each other as a sign of mutual sympathy, and so on.
• An engagement does not include any promises or vows, as it is not a marriage; but a marriage proposal is mandatory. The initiative in concluding the engagement should come from the groom, since he mainly influences the development of events. And a marriage proposal is a natural given to traditions.

How exactly to conduct an engagement, how long before the wedding, how the bride and groom will live in their new status will be left behind the scenes. We live in an age of freedom of choice, and everyone is free to choose a scenario that is convenient for them. We hope you learned a little more about the engagement and spend this happy day unforgettable!

The return of original Russian traditions to the modern present is a good sign, indicating that we remember our roots and value our history. Among the beautiful traditions that have returned is the engagement ceremony, without which no wedding could take place before.

What is engagement

Getting engaged means that a couple in love has decided to start a family - to get engaged, and has given each other consent to get married. It is important that the parents approve of this marriage and give their consent.

If a themed party is chosen, then it can be held in the simplest format, for example, as an outdoor recreation. If funds allow, the holiday can be organized in unusual forms: a yacht trip or a party in the style of the Middle Ages. For those who honor Russian traditions, the celebration can be held in the style of the Old Russian rite. For this purpose, a host is invited who knows the features and nuances of organizing an engagement in accordance with Russian traditions.

Of course, everyone chooses one option or another, calculating financial capabilities taking into account the costs required for holding the main holiday - a wedding.

Congratulations on your engagement

When organizing a holiday at which the proposal will be made, it is necessary to send out an invitation to relatives and friends in advance. At the same time, it is important to remember that these same people should be invited to.

The groom must prepare an engagement bouquet for the bride and future mother-in-law. At the same time, do not forget about your mother, who may be offended if she is not given attention and respect. It is better if the flowers are given to the groom's mother by the bride's father, but the groom needs to play it safe and buy bouquets in advance in case the other party forgets to do so.

Everyone chooses a gift based on their financial capabilities. As a rule, they are given inexpensive gifts, since a more grandiose event is planned ahead - a wedding. It is customary to give bed linen, household items, souvenirs and decorative elements to decorate the future family home.

And, of course, on this day there are numerous congratulations from parents and guests.

After the formal part, the parents of the bride and groom begin to discuss the details of the future wedding.

Engagement is a significant event. It’s great to have a memory of him with photographs in the family album. After all, it is from this event that the family’s story begins, which will be repeatedly retold to children and grandchildren.