In the development of a child, psychologists and pediatricians distinguish three stable periods: “infancy” - from birth to one year, “ early childhood" - from one to three years, and " preschool childhood" - from three to seven years. Each of these stages ends with the so-called development crisis.

A crisis is a necessary and natural stage in a child’s life, when changes in behavior and development accumulate and a transition to a qualitatively new stage occurs. Each crisis is accompanied by the appearance of stubbornness, disobedience, and whims, which the baby displays extremely clearly. Thus, there are also three of these crises: the crisis of one year, the crisis of three years and the crisis of seven years. It is impossible to get around them - almost all children go through this. But for some this transition occurs more easily, for others it is accompanied by more serious, significant behavioral manifestations. Parents are surprised, looking for the reasons for such sudden changes in the behavior of their daughter or son. But these changes are natural, characteristic of all children at a certain age, which is why they are called “developmental crises.”

Why does a crisis occur?

So why do they occur? First of all, because children have new needs, and the old forms of satisfying them are no longer suitable, sometimes they even interfere, hold them back, and therefore cease to fulfill their functions.

Let's talk about the crisis of one year, about those the most important tasks, which are resolved at this stage. At the end of the first year of life, the social situation of complete merging of the child with the adult seems to explode from within. The baby begins to understand and differentiate: I am a baby, and he is an adult, we are different. This is the essence of the crisis of the first year of life. At this age, the child acquires a certain degree of independence: the first words appear, walking skills develop, and actions with objects develop. But the range of possibilities for implementing this is still quite limited.

Your baby has taken his first step. The space of his existence has expanded. Now he can independently travel around the apartment and beyond, which means he has the opportunity to find many very interesting things that simply require perfect study and experimentation with them. But for some reason it turns out that the mother can use all the items in the kitchen, but the child cannot. Dad is allowed to work with tools as much as he wants, but the son or daughter is again forbidden to pick up nails or a hammer. Why? Children's curiosity, the desire to get acquainted with everything that is found around them is a natural need of this age. And prohibitions that the baby does not understand cause him to protest, which manifests itself in crying, stubbornness, dissatisfaction, that is, everything that surprises parents so much and is called a “crisis” in psychology.

Of course, each child develops according to its own special “schedule”, so the baby can take his first steps at nine months, and at one year and three months. Likewise, the first manifestations of a crisis often appear in different time. But more often this happens precisely when the child turns one year old.

Where did the whims come from?

What happens to your baby during this period? Parents may notice the appearance of stubbornness and capriciousness in the behavior of their child. Previously obedient and calm, during this period he begins to be capricious for any reason, and very often parents cannot understand what caused such an “attack”.

First of all, it is worth emphasizing that your baby already understands and can do a lot, but he still does not know how to talk about his desires. The child explores the world more and more actively. Previously, he could not walk, his movement was limited. From the time the baby learned to walk, his world expanded and was filled with many things that “demand” attention. The child travels around the apartment and studies how the stove in the kitchen works, what is hidden in the shoe closet, he also strives to pick up every item, examine it, twirl it, and try it out. But suddenly the parents say “no”. He doesn't understand the reasons for this at all. Therefore, he tries again and cries when the ban sounds again. The child tries by all means available to him to express his desires. The baby does not yet know how to speak to express his dissatisfaction. And new attempts to understand the world cause new prohibitions.

So will little man for the first time encounters the will of an adult. A one-year-old child wants to act on his own, he is no longer satisfied with the position of a doll, which is fed, swaddled, given toys when they want, they talk, and when they don’t want, they don’t talk. He strives to be independent, and to communicate at his own request. And here is another paradox - there is a desire for communication, but there are still no words to express it all. It can be difficult to understand what the baby wants, although he tries to express his own desires and needs.

Thus begins the crisis of the first year. It gets deeper the more more parents contrary to the wishes of the baby. The whims of a child, in fact, are an indicator that the time has come for adults to change their behavior and attitude towards their own child. Previous communication stereotypes no longer work. And if your child wants to grab the spoon with his hands exactly at the moment when you are feeding him, then it is easier to give him this object in his hands, and take another for yourself and continue the process that was stopped for a short time. It doesn’t matter if the baby is all smeared with porridge, but you can calmly feed him, and after everything you just clean up and wash your child.

Is it time to act?

Parents need to understand that the moment has come when it is very important to give the child more independence. You need to feel that the time has come to do something not for the baby, but with him. During the first half of the second year of life, you can teach him to use a spoon, eat soup with bread, drink from a cup, take off his cap, tights, and later on to get dressed, wash himself, etc. If this stage is skipped, then later, at 3-5 years old, the child simply will not want to do these things that are no longer interesting to him, especially since he gets used to the fact that his mother dresses, washes, and feeds.

You need to be attentive to the first manifestations of children's independence: the child reaches for a spoon to eat himself, takes away his mother's hat to put it on, tries to put cubes on top of one another, and is very dissatisfied when someone tries to help. If parents treat these first manifestations of the child’s activity with understanding and patience, then over time they will be rewarded with the child’s independence, confidence, and cheerfulness.

The more things adults allow a child to do, the easier it is to insist on prohibitions. And by making sure that dangerous objects are out of reach of your baby, you can calmly allow him to explore your home - all the drawers, drawers, bottom shelves. And who knows, perhaps today’s play of a son or daughter with a saucepan will turn into a culinary talent in the future. Of course, there is no need to encourage any desires of the child. Prohibitions must be smart, clear, unambiguous and agreed upon by all adult family members. If you forbid something, then in the process you just need to divert the baby’s attention to something else, or you can offer a smart alternative: it is forbidden to write on the father’s documents, but there is a piece of paper - here it is allowed. But you should never play with a knife (so as not to get hurt) or boots (they are dirty) or expensive things (the alternative in the form of an old broken alarm clock can turn into “disassembling” a new watch tomorrow, because the child simply does not realize the difference, although he is already very good at making analogies : this is a watch, if I can play with these, then I can play with all the others).

If the parents showed enough tact, patience and flexibility towards the baby, then the first crisis stage in his development will end and a calm time will begin. Of course, this won't last long. But for now the child becomes obedient and calm again. Moreover, the baby has already become more independent and mature, he can and can do much more than before.

Your child is already a person with his own desires, feelings, emotions, he just does not yet know how to express them. And if you spend more time trying to understand your baby, then any crisis will pass faster, easier, and with less emotional loss for both parties.

A very capricious child is an age-old problem that almost all parents in the world are familiar with. Children from a very early age, from the first year of life, express their desires in different ways. And very often - through hysterics, tears, blackmail - through those very whims that are simply impossible to cope with. Why is the child capricious? What makes him like this? How can I get rid of this “defect” in his behavior? And in general, is this possible?

• Why does a child show his whims?
• A capricious child at 2-3 years old or at 5 years old - what will these whims lead to next?
• How to raise a capricious child? How to influence him correctly?

The first whims of a child are an alarm bell for parents, signaling that the educational process is not going well. There is a flaw somewhere, we are doing something wrong. But when whims become a way of life for a baby, it’s time to sound the alarm - whims threaten to gain a foothold in life. After all, a capricious child can grow into a capricious adult.

Buy a helicopter... - I hear a squeaky, not without impudence, voice behind me. In a huge basket on wheels, among a mountain of food, sits a 5-year-old boy, clearly a capricious, spoiled child.

I promised to buy you a helicopter if you do well. Have you been studying? No. Then no helicopter,” dad answers, not really paying attention to his son’s demands.

I have practiced! Buy it!

You didn't study at all! I know everything, stop it, Gleb. The contract is more expensive than money, you have not fulfilled your obligations, which means no helicopter.

The basket with groceries and the capricious child was unceremoniously turned around and began to move away from children's department. And the further you went, the more you heard the child’s squeal, which was already mixed with tears:

I have practiced! I was studying! I was studying! You are bad! I hate you! You are not my dad. You do not love me. Everyone has a helicopter, but I don’t. Buy-buy-buy-buyyyyyyy...

Phew... finally the child can’t be heard, all the adults sighed calmly. But what I see is that after a couple of minutes, dad returns to the shelf with helicopters - he takes a toy. I'm interested and I follow him. A dozen shelves away is his basket with a crying child, who can no longer scream at the top of his lungs, but is literally choking with tears.

Okay, here's a helicopter for you! But this is the last time I feel sorry for you. And from today you begin to study twice as hard, as we agreed. Yes?

Yes, daddy. I love you more than anyone in the world!

Where did the tears go? A smile appeared on his face, not without self-satisfaction.

For all eyewitnesses of this incident, except for the father, it became obvious: something, but the child will not study. That's for sure.

Modern children are very smart and insightful. They quickly learn to use the feelings of their parents and grandparents. The whims they use in their attack tantrums often lead them to small victories. The toy has been received, the ice cream has been bought, you don’t have to study lessons, just watch cartoons, and you don’t even have to eat porridge - as long as you don’t get hysterical. We hope that the main educational process is going correctly, and hysterics - where would we be without them. Everyone has been through this, and we will get through this.

However, it is not. Whims in children, especially children 5-6 years old and older, are a threat to themselves. What is the future of these whims?

Behind every, even the smallest whim from a child, there is a serious question for his parent: what to do and how to do the right thing? How to respond to a child’s demand in such a way as to have a good influence on him?

Although it seems that a capricious child is a mystery that needs to be approached with different keys each time, in reality this is completely wrong. The whims of a child always follow the same scenario, and the reactions from parents to them are typical.

Who, how and why is capricious? The child is capricious - is that true?

You might find it interesting. Read a series of articles about raising children with different vectors ""

Generally speaking, every child always wants everything for himself. “Give” is the real first thought of any baby. This is normal human nature. Then, as we grow and mature, through cultural restrictions and shame, we learn to distinguish between what is bad and what is good, what is right and what is wrong, what is positive and what is criminal. But before that, the baby still has a long time to grow and learn. When he turns 4 months or a year old, 3 or 5 years old, his whole essence seems to strive to do what he wants, to get what he wants, and vice versa, not to do what is not unpleasant. How does a child achieve all this? Differently. And very often - through whims and hysterics.

You can read the results of those who have already completed the training at this link.
See how the lectures are going, can you do it right now?– follow this link and watch any video.

For those who are interested in issues of raising children, we offer a unique newsletter with articles on system-vector psychology. Each issue contains a lot of information about children and the characteristics of their upbringing, depending on the vector set.

Many parents complain that they have an overly capricious child. Is it so? Maybe the parents themselves spoiled the little one to such an extent? Perhaps the reason for the whims lies in a psychological or physical imbalance? Whatever the reason for children's tantrums, something needs to be done about the whims. That is, it is necessary to fight such an emotional manifestation as the small “I”. Let's try to find out the reasons why children are usually capricious, and give advice on how to cope with the excessive emotionality of a little person.

What reasons make a child capricious?

From birth, a child is a blank slate and the development of his personality directly depends on the upbringing given by his parents. Any manifestations of emotions, both positive and negative, are a reflection of the internal state of the little one. The reasons why a child becomes capricious are as follows.

Physiological imbalance

IN early age The baby is not yet aware of his feelings, so he does not always understand that the reason for his capricious mood is illness, hunger, fatigue or fever. It is the “overwhelm” of the psyche with emotions caused by a physiological imbalance in the body that becomes the cause of children's hysterics and dejected behavior.

Family microclimate

Excessive care and spoiling

Every parent wants to protect their child from all the difficulties and troubles of the outside world. We make decisions for him and protect him from the first childhood difficulties. We try to shower them with gifts, showing our love. Such actions of “blowing away specks of dust” lead to the fact that the little one does not know what independence is and is “in no hurry” to grow up. He understands that with capricious antics you can achieve whatever you want. Pampering often becomes the cause of children's tears.

Age-related changes

Psychologists say that while a child is growing up, there are periods called age crises. Usually this is three years and five years. During this period, many mothers notice drastic changes in their baby. Firstly, this happens because the child tries to assert himself in defiance of his parents; he wants more freedom and independent decisions. Secondly, the overprotection of mom and dad “stresses” him and he shows his maturity with capricious antics.

How do whims manifest themselves depending on age?

The manifestation of his whims depends on the age of the child. According to psychologists, each age should have its own approach to a child and age-related changes must be taken into account in education.

Let's try to figure out how whims manifest themselves depending on the age of the baby.

2. Children from one to two years old. After a year, the baby understands perfectly well that all he has to do is cry, and his mother will immediately fulfill his every wish. The concept of “no” does not yet exist for a child, and each refusal leads to another cry. This behavior is provoked by parents who, under the “pressure” of the child’s hysterics, allow them to do today what was impossible yesterday.

4. Children after three years. The child’s character has already been formed and self-esteem appears. At three years old, it is slightly overestimated, because before that the whole world revolved around him. It is at this age that the crisis of three years (crisis of age) occurs. Often conflict situations between the child and parents or between him and peers in kindergarten cause whims (falling on the floor, throwing something), which make parents seriously think about what to do with their child. You can read how to prepare your baby for the society that awaits him in kindergarten in the article:.

What to do if you have a capricious child: 5 rules

How capricious the baby is depends on the baby’s temperament. Therefore, capricious children, based on the expression of emotions, can be divided into the following groups:

• the baby blows his lips and sobs resentfully;
• may cry bitterly;
• squeals loudly;
• whines monotonously;
• shows aggressive emotions (bites, screams, throws).

A very capricious child is a lot of trouble for parents. To cope with a toddler, he offers seven basic rules based on child psychology.

Rule #1. If your baby is capricious, maybe it’s your own fault?

First, you need to find out whether the baby is capricious or whether this condition is caused by the behavior of adults. In cases where in a crowded place your child falls on his butt and screams that he wants a toy like the one on display, then this is whims. If a child tries to button his jacket with the words “I do it myself,” and the mother, being late, does it for him, then the mother is the provocateur of the crying. Therefore, be patient, give a little independence and hysterics can be avoided.

Rule #2. There shouldn't be a chain reaction, control your emotions

As you know, aggression causes aggression and by shouting, you cause negativity, squealing and sobbing at your child. The more you scold, the more insane the child becomes. Watch yourself, don’t lose your temper and control your emotions. In a calm tone, tell your child that he cannot behave this way, and that you are very upset by this behavior. Further, the conversation should not be continued, since logical arguments will not help now. Satisfying whims is also not worth it. The best solution would be to ignore the picky ones, and after the nth time of such calm behavior on the part of the parents, the capricious “little devil” will become a normal, balanced child.

Rule #3. Do not use blackmail in education

Many parents blackmail their child with words:

• “If you don’t shut up, I won’t love you...”;
• “If you don’t stop crying, I won’t give you a toy...”

So, you can’t do it. This method, based on blackmail, will teach the baby to tell lies and resort to blackmail in cases where he needs something. Such upbringing may provoke such words in adolescence:

• “I’ll run away if you don’t allow me to meet with him...”;
• “I’ll leave home if you scold me for failing grades...”

And the worst thing is that children in adolescence are so vulnerable and unpredictable that you don’t know whether they are just threatening or will actually do it after receiving parental refusal.

Rule #4. Always follow the chosen tactics

To prevent a capricious child from manipulating his parents with screams, it is necessary to always follow the same tactics. At the first manifestations of children's whims, behave calmly and firmly, without outbursts of anger, explain what is possible and what is not. After a while, even when the baby starts to be capricious, asking for some thing again, refuse again, even if you really need to keep him busy with something. The behavior of parents today is unacceptable, and tomorrow it can only weaken the child’s psyche even more, disorienting the child in positive and negative things.

Rule #5. Do not reproach with bad deeds

You can’t say that the baby is a bad, capricious child. Quite the opposite, convince him that you love him, despite his behavior. Tell him that this action upset you, but you believe that he will not do this again. These conversations are necessary so that the child understands that he is needed, he is loved, and if you ask, he will certainly receive it, but a little later.

Children aged 3-4 years are quite independent people: attend kindergarten, prefer activities to their liking. Plus, they are old enough to communicate their needs. Then where do the hysterics and whims that worry parents so much come from? What should tired mothers do if a three- or four-year-old baby constantly cries and is naughty?

The age of three is a fertile time for emotional and cognitive development children. They acquire new experience, understand more and, at the same time, experience conflicts acutely. All these problems are superimposed by the crisis of three years, when previously docile children become whiny, capricious and obstinate, flatly refusing to comply with the demands of adults. They often behave ugly: they stomp their feet, cry, scream, and throw objects that are within their reach.

Causes of children's tears and whims

Many parents do not understand why their child constantly cries and is capricious. And the sources of such behavior usually lie on the surface, but they cannot always be immediately recognized.

1. Baby requires your attention he lacks communication with his parents, he wants to see evidence of his own “need”. Wish mother's love and affection is a child’s basic need.
2. Naughty children want to get what they want, for example, a gift, sweets, permission to go for a walk - something that mothers and fathers do not allow for reasons incomprehensible to children.
3. Child protests against parental dictates, excessive care, demonstrating a desire to become independent and self-reliant. This is typical for authoritarian parenting methods. Remember how often you tell your son or daughter: “Quickly put on that sweater,” “Stop looking around.”
4. Crying and whims can occur without an obvious reason. Maybe baby overtired, didn't get enough sleep, observed a family quarrel. Many components influence a child’s mood, so you need to analyze them all.

Let's look at each option in more detail and find out what parents should do if a 3-4 year old child is constantly capricious and crying.

Desire to communicate

The advice is both simple and complex: if you want to avoid tears and whims, spend more time with your children. Of course, parents often do not have enough time for close and full communication with their child. But The main thing here is not the number of minutes, but their quality. There is no need to give up household chores; communicate with your child in the process of implementing them.

Arrange more often general holidays and family gatherings. In addition to the traditional feast, come up with interesting entertainment, competitions for all family members. Another way is to go to a circus, an amusement park, or go out of town. There would be a desire, but there are plenty of options to have fun with your family.

Reaction to prohibitions

The baby should have the opportunity to explore the world around him. Your task - help, and not hinder, children's curiosity. For this you need set clear boundaries of what is permitted, streamline requirements and reduce the number of prohibitions, leaving only the most important. They usually relate to child safety and must be followed strictly.

Make a baby assistants in homework , presenting new responsibilities in a playful way. Are you preparing lunch? Invite your baby to wash vegetables or “feed” the cookie. Do you wash your clothes? Give him a basin and offer to wash your blouse. There are several advantages to joint business ventures. Firstly, you control the actions of your child. Secondly, you can explain to him the danger of household items.

Self-affirmation

A child of 3-4 years old begins to perceive parental care not only as a manifestation of love, but also as a suppression of independence and an annoying hindrance. At this age, children require a kind of balance of care and freedom. You don’t want to raise a “comfortable” child who causes little trouble, but doesn’t strive for achievements himself?

For example, a three-year-old behaves badly at lunch: he refuses porridge, demands other dishes, pushes away the mug of jelly. If you force him, he will continue to be capricious, and this is not far from full-fledged hysteria. Accept that he is now an independent person and has the right to choose both the list of dishes and the serving size. Believe me, he will definitely not die of hunger.

Implicit reasons for whims

Children are born with different types nervous system. “Stronger” babies are resistant to irritants and do not cry over every little thing. A child with an unstable nervous system is vulnerable; his reaction to troubles and difficulties is too emotional.

In such children, minor pain causes hysterics, a lump in the porridge leads to vomiting, and too many impressions during the day deprive them of sleep. Whims and tears are a constant companion for three- and four-year-old melancholics. Parents should prevent the occurrence of hysterics, and in case of prolonged stress, they should seek advice from a neurologist or psychologist.

What to do?

If a 3-4 year old child is constantly naughty, analyze all the above reasons and try to eliminate them. Try to prevent the occurrence of stressful situations.

If the whining does start, try switch the baby's interest to something else.

“Look what huge tears are pouring from your eyes. Let's collect them in a jar", says one resourceful mom.

Offer your little one something new item or interesting activity: look together cartoon or read your favorite book. Communicating together will help him feel your love and eliminate unconstructive ways of attracting parental attention.

All parents face challenges raising their children. Some children are naughty, some are capricious, and some are hysterical. In any case, the problem must be solved. It depends on what age the baby is. A capricious child should be brought up at a young age, when only... Experts from the psychotherapeutic help website psymedcare.ru will tell you what to do and how to cope with your whims.

No one will say that it will be easy with a capricious child. The problem cannot be resolved in one day. However, if your child has become capricious, then you definitely need to find out the reasons for this phenomenon, and then eliminate them.

First, parents are advised to make sure that the child is really naughty. He screams, gets irritated, cries not because something hurts or bothers him, but only for subjective reasons. You need to be sure that the child is absolutely healthy, he is not hungry, not tired, he is not cold or hot. In other words, it is necessary to exclude all those physiological reasons that he cannot talk about, however different ways points to them.

Secondly, if parents cannot cope with the whims, which are really excessive desires and the desire to do everything their own way, then you can seek advice from child psychologist. He will tell you what you can do specifically in your case, so as not to harm the baby’s psyche, and at the same time do everything correctly.

Who is a capricious child?

Almost all parents are faced with the whims of their children. Who is a capricious child? This is a baby who cries, sobs, does not obey, demands something from his parents, but does not want to calm down until he gets his way. On the one hand, it seems quite logical that a child insists on his point of view if he wants something. He is a great guy for standing up for his desires and demanding their fulfillment.

On the other hand, the ways in which he wants to realize his desires are not consistent with the realities of life in which people live. The child is impatient, demands the realization of what he wants from other people, and does nothing himself. Moreover, his whims may not be related to desires at all, but rather to the general emotional state, needs and even health.

A child can be capricious for various reasons:

1. Incorrect upbringing by parents who do not pay attention to the child, do not educate him, he does not know the boundaries of what is possible and what is not. On the other hand, the baby may resist excessive self-care, when one cannot take a step without parental consent.
2. Physical health, which may bother the baby with pain or distress. If the parents are not yet aware of the disease, then it may be difficult for the baby to tell about its presence.
3. Momentary mood, temperament. It should also be taken into account that the child may simply be prone to capriciousness. This is allowed to him in the parental family, where all members are emotional, impulsive and categorical.
4. Three-year crisis. There will be more talk about it. This is when a child psychologically desires to separate from his parents. He gradually begins to realize his own selfhood, for which he begins to fight if his parents do not understand that they need to promote his independence.
5. The microclimate in the family, which is called unfavorable. You should also take into account the family in which the baby grows up. If parents constantly quarrel and conflict with each other, this can affect the child's behavior. Also, the baby can simply copy the behavior of his parents if they themselves are quite capricious. Misunderstanding between adults and children also leads to moodiness.

Psychologists treat whims as a completely normal phenomenon that all children go through. Caprice is a way to express your desires. Some quickly realize that this method does not work, so they stop being capricious, while others continue to try for a long time to influence their parents through their whims.

Another fact that should be noted is that if the parents give in to the child’s whims, then the baby continues to be capricious, because this is the way he gets what he wants. Accordingly, parents will have to change their behavior and develop restraint in order to act in a way at the moment of a whim so that the baby understands that his seizures will not bring the desired result.

A capricious child at 2 years old

At each age, whims arise for separate reasons. To understand how to behave with a capricious child who is 2 years old, you should know approximately what reasons may contribute to this:

1. Physical conditions, illnesses, discomfort. If a child is bothered by something, he may begin to endure, then want something in various ways (“I want one thing, no, I want another”), and then start crying. Parents naturally perceive this as a whim.
2. Body discomforts. For example, your shoes are pressing, your head is sweating, or your stomach hurts. All sensations in the body can also lead to moodiness.
3. Attention. If the baby at some moment receives more attention than at another, then with his whims he can achieve what he wants. If he is capricious, which is why his parents rush to him, then he continues to be capricious.

What should parents do with a capricious 2-year-old child?

• Set rules and prohibitions. If you once forbade doing something, then continue to forbid it in the future. Moreover, this prohibition must be supported not only by one parent, but also by the second.
• Leave a whim unattended. Often, a child simply plays to the public, that is, he is capricious when his parents are nearby or looking at him. If you deprive him of the audience, then the whim will pass by itself.

Cranky child at 3 years old

At the age of three, children become especially capricious. What is this connected with? With an age-related crisis, when the child begins to separate from his mother, which leads him to the desire to defend his position, to be independent. Parents may notice that the child seems to be starting to do everything out of spite. In this case, you need to act wisely.

What should parents do with a capricious 3-year-old child?

• Give him some freedom. If he doesn't want to do something, don't force him.
• Don't fight. You won't achieve much with prohibitions and threats. If, for example, the baby does not want to go for a swim, then you can tell him that dad will go instead to swim in the bath and play with his toys.
• Switch your attention. When your baby is naughty, simply switch his attention to something else that is not related to the topic of whim.
• Don't pay attention to his whims. In other words, show that you do not react to his behavior at all, and accordingly, he does not get his way.

A capricious child at 4 years old

At four years old, the baby becomes independent enough to have his own desires and favorite activities. He is already able to talk about what he wants, and not be capricious. What can lead to capriciousness in a baby at this age?

1. Copying parents. If a child sees that his parents are being capricious while they are solving some controversial issues, then he will simply copy them.
2. An established pattern of behavior. If the baby used to be capricious and get his way, then at the age of 4 he will simply continue to get his way in this way.
3. Getting attention. The baby can get used to the fact that everyone pays attention to him through whims. If a child constantly experiences attention on himself, then he may be capricious due to fatigue.

Parents must continue to show what the child is forbidden to do, not pay attention to his whims, give a certain amount of freedom, and also not give what he wants while he is capricious.

A capricious child at 5 years old

If at the age of 5 a child continues to be capricious, this indicates pedagogical neglect of the situation by the parents. In previous age periods, they were unable to correctly build their educational methodology, which is why it led to the child’s capriciousness at an age when this quality might no longer be present.

Why is a child capricious at 5 years old?

1. He's already used to it. If in previous years he got what he wanted through whims, then he will simply continue to get what he wants with similar behavior.
2. Conflicts between parents and children. If parents do not understand the child, then he may be capricious.
3. Spoiled. If parents indulge the child’s whims, then he himself will not get rid of them.
4. Compensating for lack of attention with material gifts. Since parents can work a lot, they will cajole their children with various gifts, thereby further developing their spoiledness and capriciousness.

Parents should clearly and firmly say “no” to their child at the age of 5, while clearly explaining the reasons for their refusal. It is necessary to explain to the child that his capriciousness does not give what he wants, what to demonstrate in practice, so that the child really sees that his behavior is ineffective.

Parents should, both at the age of 5 and in younger years, teach the child to correctly state his desires. How can a baby talk about what he wants, instead of whims, so that he remains heard and, perhaps, his wish comes true? Parents need to show him how he can express his “wants” in order for it to be acceptable.

What to do with a capricious child?

If moodiness and tearfulness are not a consequence of the child’s physical illness, then this behavior indicates that educational measures are being carried out incorrectly. The relationship between the child and parents is built a little incorrectly. What to do?

1. You should not shout or scold the child, as he will not be able to understand his wrong behavior.
2. Communicate with a capricious child as an equal, while explaining that his behavior is unacceptable.
3. You can give in to a child in small things in order to prohibit something more significant.
4. Negotiate, don't push.
5. Find out the motives for the child’s behavior, and don’t just punish.
6. Allow your child to be independent in some situations.
7. Distinguish between whimsy and exploratory focus.
8. Give reasons for your prohibitions so that your child understands why you are putting them in front of him.

How to ultimately deal with a capricious child?

Capriciousness is inherent in all children. However, it depends only on parental behavior whether the child will continue to be capricious or quickly stop doing so. If the child’s capriciousness continues, then it is quite normal for parents to contact a child psychologist. It will help eliminate the problem at an early age so that the child’s capriciousness does not remain for the rest of his life.