Hello, dear friends!

It happens that people who have been with us and walked through life since childhood choose a different path. Those with whom we managed to overcome sorrows, share joys and baptize children over time, cease to participate so actively in our lives.

Why do people stop being friends?

In most cases, we get true friends in childhood. It is when we are walking in the yard with a stick in our hands or heading to school that we form our first coalitions strong friendship for a year.

It happens that growing up and facing the first difficulties adult life, at the university or in the library, we happen to meet a faithful shoulder, with which we move on through life more confidently.

Experience in the labor field prepares us for particularly amazing encounters. Coming to new team and probing the contingent, we draw conclusions that can sometimes be erroneous. People who are not immediately liked sometimes demonstrate a real personality transformation and soon acquire the title of “honored friend.”

Common interests that connect a person with others like him can also become a reason to find a friend. Joint trips to training, to the gym or to a seminar unite personalities and give an unforgettable feeling of closeness, confidence and reliability.

Not a single party or birthday is complete without inviting a friend to the celebration. Only they know all our pranks, reasons to be sad and rejoice, and, for sure, they have a couple of incriminating evidence in their phone, for which we unselfishly love them.

Do you believe in friendship between a man and a woman? As for me, in my life there have been examples of successful friendships with a man more than once.

But what if one day you notice that your relationship is collapsing? They lack the former energy, and meetings increasingly resemble a need and an obligation. The reasons to see each other are increasingly simplified towards an important date, and the desire to call just like before is less and less.

Why does friendship end for no reason? What is the reason for moving away from each other? And how can you get your old relationship back on track? For today's article, I have prepared some tips that will help you overcome a difficult stage in the matter of friendship. Before that, I would like to mention the types of relationships that some people mistakenly call friendship.

A person cannot have many friends. In the process of life, we can acquire many acquaintances, comrades and friends. But the true, honorary title of Friend is allowed to a very small number of applicants.

Reasons for the end of friendship

Betrayal

This is one of the most common reasons for cooling of feelings between former, bosom friends. One wrongly taken action and deed can completely erase the years spent together. Betrayal is very painful. It can be expressed physically and mentally.

Intemperate words, lies and other mistakes characterize a person as complete “mistrust” and restoring friendship after failure is quite difficult. An individual experiences similar feelings at the moment of betrayal of a loved one.

“Mine must be mine!” and after the person has “exchanged” a friend for a more interesting activity, another person or something else, it becomes almost impossible to make up for past feelings due to the constant reminder of what happened.

Parting

Life sometimes changes its coordinates and we are forced to change our place of residence, leaving close people in spirit in our hometown. A separation of your own free will or because of more favorable prospects may be easier to accept than a separation associated with the physical loss of a friend.

Telephone friendship, like love, has its difficulties. Meetings are impossible due to the distance between cities of residence, difficult work, fatigue and lack of time. Sounds familiar, doesn't it? I wonder if we do the math, how many potential friends have we broken up with without even knowing it? Perhaps the borders and the desire to change the surroundings of the city saved us from the opportunity to find the missing person? What should you do to maintain your friendship?

Harmony in friendly relationships is unattainable if one of the participants becomes uncomfortable. Sometimes we neglect the feelings of others, focusing only on our problems, illnesses and difficulties.

To prevent this from happening, I would advise you to be more often interested in your friend’s life sincerely and appropriately. You shouldn’t broadcast only understandable and important topics into his ears. Ask questions and participate in the lives of loved ones, otherwise, in another version, you will be friends with your cat.

"Rescuer" service

There are people who remember a friend only when it benefits them. Has there been trouble, grief or difficulty? Exactly! We need to call Chipp or Dale to help. And why? Because we are friends.

But sooner or later, playing with one goal gets absolutely boring and people move away from each other. The amount of services provided and selfless assistance should be the same and take the form of a mutual decision.

Strive to approach your own problems logically and not shift them onto the shoulders of your soul mate, otherwise the desire to communicate will fade away.

Openness to the world

Sometimes people tend to close themselves off from subsequent friendships if they have been “burned” in the past. Pain, disappointment and distrust of people provokes an individual, having chosen a certain circle of people, to nail down the doors to his heart with steel plates.

If you realize that you are alone or suffering from a lack of communication, maybe it's time? By giving them part of his time and experiences, a person feels the fullness of life and feels supported. Of course, like any relationship, friendship also needs to be worked on. Monitor your friend’s mood and emotional background, be honest, open and sincere.

Friends, I wish you to be a worthy partner, a person chosen from millions.

Don't forget to subscribe to my blog updates and recommend it to your friends to read. In the comments, tell us what you think affects the quality of friendship?

See you on the blog, bye-bye!

In the hierarchy of relationships, friendship is in last place. Relationships with lovers, parents, children - all this is higher than friendship. This is true in life and is reflected in science: studies of interpersonal relationships mainly concern couples and families.

Friendship is a unique relationship because, unlike relationships with relatives, we choose who we deal with. And unlike other voluntary relationships like marriage, friendship has no formal structure. You can’t go without seeing or talking to your significant other for a month, but you can with your friends.

However, study after study confirms that friends are very important to a person. And as friendships change over time, so do a person's demands on their friends.

I've heard people talk about close friends different ages: a teenager of 14 years old and an old man approaching his century. There are three descriptions of close friends: someone you can talk to, someone you depend on, and someone you feel good with. Descriptions do not change throughout life, but the life circumstances in which these qualities are manifested change.

William Rawlins, professor at Ohio University

The voluntary nature of friendship makes it defenseless against life circumstances. Growing up, people prioritize not in favor of friendship: family comes first. And if earlier you could just run into the next doorway to invite Kolya for a walk, now you agree with him to “somehow find a couple of hours” to meet and have a drink once a month.

The beautiful thing about friendship is that people remain friends simply because they want to, because they chose each other. But this also prevents you from maintaining friendship for a long time, because you can also voluntarily stop dating without regrets or obligations.

Throughout life - from kindergarten to the nursing home - friendship improves a person, both physically and mentally. But as people grow older, their priorities change, and friendships change - for better or for worse. The latter, unfortunately, happens much more often.

How friendships change

Youth - best time to create friendly relations. It is during this time that friendship becomes more complete and meaningful.

As a child, friends are other kids who are fun to play with. They are already opening up their feelings more and supporting each other. But in adolescence friends are still exploring and testing themselves and others, learning what it means “ close person" Friendship helps them in this.

Over time, moving from youth to youth, people become more self-confident, they look for people who share their views on important things.

Despite the new, more complex approach to friendship, young people still have plenty of time to devote to friends. Young people generally spend 10 to 25 hours a week meeting with friends. And a recent study showed that in the United States, boys and girls aged 20-24 spend most of the day interacting with groups of people of all ages.

At universities, everything is aimed at communication between students - at lectures and between them, at holidays with classmates, at seminars, and so on. Of course, this doesn't just apply to those attending university. All young people strive to avoid things that distract them from communicating with friends, such as weddings, or conversations with parents.

When you're young, your friendships are stronger: all your friends go to the same school or live nearby. Over time, when you leave educational institutions, change jobs or places of residence, connections weaken. Moving to another city to study at university can be your first experience of leaving friends.

Research by Emily Langan, a professor of social interaction at Wheaton College, found that adults feel they should be more polite to their friends.

Adults understand that friends have their own things to do and cannot demand much time or attention from them. Unfortunately, this happens on both sides, and people begin to distance themselves from each other, even if they don't want to. Just out of politeness.

But what makes friendship fragile also makes it flexible. Participants in one survey most often thought that the relationship was not interrupted, even if there was a long period when friends did not communicate.

This is a very optimistic view. You won't think you have a good relationship with your parents if you haven't heard from them for months. But it works with friends: you can be considered friends even if you haven’t talked for six months.

Yes, it's sad that we stop relying on friends when we grow up, but it gives us the opportunity to experience a different kind of relationship based on understanding the limitations of adulthood. Such relationships are far from ideal, but they are real.

After all, friendship is a relationship without any obligations. You yourself decided to connect yourself with a person, just to be together.

What about you? Do you still have any real friends?

We met Slavik in the sandbox. Slavik shared toys with me and brought sweets from home. In general, he acted like a real little man. True, we didn’t think about it then. But the adults teased us with “bride and groom.”

Together to kindergarten, together to school

Our parents also became friends amid our communication. Sometimes one of the mothers even took us to kindergarten, and the other picked us up. It was so convenient for everyone. But Slavik and I were not bored. On the way we played “Cities” or some “Guessing Game”.

The school also welcomed us both. True, the teacher did not allow us to sit together at the same desk. Now I understand that she was right. We were greatly distracted from the lesson, conducting negotiations in whispers.

Every day at school Slavik took care of me. He protected me from both boys and girls. My friend shared sandwiches with me. And he also carried not only his own books, but also my books in his briefcase.

Time changes even friends

When we grew up, Slavik made sure that I didn’t suddenly start dating a guy from bad company. And I was very happy that I had such a friend.

However, after the army, Slavik changed. Became more serious, not talkative. It seemed to me that he was pretending to be an adult, trying to prove to everyone that the army had made him a real man.

I noticed other changes in my childhood friend, but I didn’t think they would lead to anything unpleasant or dangerous. Slavik did not talk. He waved it off or laughed it off. But at times it seemed to me that Slavik was the same – kind, caring, attentive.

Bitterly!

Slavik got married first. His wedding was fun. Only I didn’t like the bride and her brother. But the main thing is that my friend feels good. And a year later I walked down the aisle. And at my wedding, Slavik, my childhood friend, betrayed me. He ruined my celebration.


I will never forget this and I will never forgive him. He was sober and knew what he was doing. He stole money from us that we had put aside to pay for the cafe. We paid part in advance, and the second part was to be collected by the owner of the cafe on the day of our celebration.

My fiancé and I entrusted Slavik with the responsibility for paying for the cafe. And he left with our money an hour after the celebration began. And the amount was decent.

When I asked him why he did this, he said that he needed money. So, without asking, he decided that he could use the money that we had been collecting for almost a year.

So are childhood friends really the most faithful? Or can anyone expect a trick these days?

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The main character from the collection “Deniska's Stories” is the boy Denis. In the story, the boy recalls that period of his early childhood, when he, being a schoolboy at five minutes, was trying to decide on his future profession. He wanted to be an astronomer, a captain, or an artist. At some point, Denis decided to become a boxer, and a boxer definitely needs a special punching bag for training.

When asked to buy him a punching bag, Deniska’s dad, first of all, asked how much it cost. Having found out the price, dad offered to do without the punching bag for the future boxer. But the situation was saved by my mother, who found a huge teddy bear with eyes made of different buttons in old toys and suggested using it as a punching bag.

At first Denis was happy about his mother’s offer, but then he remembered how good friend this teddy bear was for him. He remembered many good moments of his childhood associated with this bear cub. And at some point Deniska realized that the bear cub was his true friend, and friends should not be used as objects for beating. And this childhood friendship with a teddy bear was so important for the hero of the story that for her sake he decided to give up his dream of becoming a boxer.

That's how it is summary story.

The main idea of ​​the story “Childhood Friend” is that friendship is the most valuable thing a person has. AND more important than friendship nothing can happen. I like it main character story, Deniska, with his loyalty to old friendship, albeit with a teddy bear. Deniska, who treats his friends this way, must grow into a kind and decent person.

What proverbs fit the story “Childhood Friend”?

With a good friend, the world is a kinder place.
Loyalty is the basis of friendship.
An old friend is better than two new ones.
A good friend is real wealth.