Often relationships between two lovers collapse simply because the woman does not understand the differences between female and male psychology.

After all, in the life of any active man there are ups and downs, regardless of the current level of achievement, and it is important for him to extend a hand correctly in difficult times, taking into account the peculiarities of male psychology.

What to do if a man gives up? How to be useful to the guy? What to do if a man fails to achieve what he wants? I will reveal these and other subtleties in this article.

Classics of the genre

Honey, did something happen to you?

Nothing special…

Yes, I can read everything from your face and eyes! What's happened?

Calm down, everything is fine...

Are you, as usual, hiding something from me?! Let's confess!

So at one moment the girl uses all the dubious techniques: curiosity, raised tone, obsession, tense intonation, nagging. A whole portion of inappropriate behavior instead of basic words of support for your man.

And he is dejected, a dark streak has come in his life, a real “ emotional pit", from which he cannot get out.

And the person closest to him, his woman, with the best intentions of supposedly “helping”, digs the grave of the relationship. Although she herself doesn’t know about it, she tries with all her might to do something for the good.

Dear girls, let me make a reservation right away, this is not your fault. You do the best you can. But…

If you want to most correctly support a man, so that a man leaves his “cave” as quickly as possible and at the same time begins, continue reading the article.

6 types of women who want to “support” their husband or man

In my opinion, there are several types of behavior of representatives of the fair sex when a man unexpectedly needs support for his passion.

Sometimes such “assistance” looks more than funny from the outside, so I invite readers to take an ironic look at each of the types and try to guess themselves or their friends among them.

Woman advisor. She is sure that she knows better how a man should live. How to communicate with employees and your mother. Well, it seems like she knows better.

Often such women gather in the ladies' lounges and express surprise to each other that their men do not understand how to build their own destiny.

The woman is a bad teacher.“I told you...”, “You didn’t listen to me...”, “I was right...”.

This one, who is wailing, is ardently convinced that she is thereby teaching a man not to make mistakes in the future.

Woman friend. “Come on, why are you upset? Everything will be OK. Life goes on. Happens to everyone."Sort of like a friend in a female form. Often such women were friends with boys in childhood. “Manners” were adopted from there.

Female psychologist. Dear girls, if you ask a man the following questions, then it’s about you. "Do you want to talk about it? What's bothering you? Let's discuss this?

After this, you will most likely interrogate the “patient” in detail, ask a series of leading questions, do a subtle analysis according to Freud, organize constellation techniques, RPT, Gestalt therapy and apply other psychological tricks.

Your man literally falls into the hands of an experienced doctor who sorts him out.

And now he already regrets that he entrusted himself and his dark thoughts to his beloved woman, who, with the precision of a surgeon, divided the whole world into black and white. In addition, the psychologist forgot that she initially attracted the man as a woman, and not as a specialist in some area of ​​​​life.

A compassionate woman. If you want to see the mirror reflection of your face, distorted by the agony of suffering, then you need to go to her. She will sincerely express her concern, she is not indifferent to any details about your trouble.

And therefore she is ready to listen to a man for hours and nod in response, stroke the top of his head and wipe his tears with her handkerchief. You can cry non-stop into the compassionate woman’s “pity.”

Pressing her lover to her chest, the woman thinks: to show her indifference means to upset the man even more. And they sit together in their one mourning.

Rescue woman. She often has all of the above skills and looks all-powerful. But besides everything else, she also does everything she can for her chosen one. And for your chosen one.

It is not a problem for her to write a resume for a man and send documents to rating companies if the man is suddenly fired. She will not hesitate to take a loan or give her money to her loved one’s startups.

“He’s a dear person to me!..” Yes? 🙂

We place accents

Well, did you recognize yourself in at least one of the points? Or maybe I missed some type? You can add about this in the comments.

And remember the most important things.So, what do you need to understand before I give a competent model of female behavior?

Still, he is a representative of the stronger sex, therefore he must always and everywhere demonstrate exclusively his own competence. And don’t allow yourself to be weak, even though you are nearby trying your best to become his faithful assistant.

Let me give you a clear example.

I have a friend Katya, who previously worked as a business consultant. So... Men also turned to her.

The “strange thing” she shared with me was that men were very offended when she started counseling, but were very grateful when she simply listened to them. It is important for a man that at a difficult moment you hear him, listen and listen to him.

The benefits of such a woman’s behavior sometimes far exceed the benefits of her own advice. Why? If you are observant, you have noticed more than once how closed men become in times of failure and testing.

And not only nature is to blame for this, having conceived and created them this way, but partly the women themselves: perhaps your man once shared his painful issues, but what did you do in response? We listened - this is already an incredible amount, thank you very much.

But! Immediately, as soon as they stopped listening, they began to advise without asking for it. And the man instantly concluded that it was better not to share absolutely anything next time. It's much safer to become a snail. Do you understand now?

How to support a man competently and effectively?

1. Try to gently ask about his experiences- without hysterical notes in the voice, without feline curiosity and the desire to “ask for the sake of asking.”

2. Listen- peacefully, sincerely, with an understanding look and silent participation.

3. Express faith in him as a man- truly, with optimism and motivation for his further victories.

4. Do not doubt that he will cope with any trouble and misfortune- show steadfastness in your support, be unshakably confident in your hero.

5. Know and see yourself in him smart man in the world- without exaggeration, wanting to take the side of the one who always makes the right decisions.

Report from one of my training participants:

But what to do if all the tips listed do not work because the man has closed himself off and is annoyed by any of your attempts to “help”?

Expensive:). And when he finally comes out of his “bunker”, begin to lament joy and continue to love.

P.S. I am not writing all this to make life easier for “poor men.”

Vice versa. This is part of what leads to a truly harmonious relationship, when the man is purposeful and successful, and the woman is happy, beautiful and protected. And love is long-lasting (and not the first - a month, a year or three).

That's all. Thank you for reading my works. Happiness and love to you.

Write in the comments which ones you have in your arsenal. pleasant words for your loved one?

Read top materials my blog:

First, understand and accept one thing: even though you have known each other for a long time and you know the person inside out, now this does not mean at all that his behavior will meet your expectations. “There are certain general stages of experiencing grief. You may well be guided by them, remembering, of course, that each of us still needs individual approach“, explains psychologist Marianna Volkova.

Our experts:

Anna Shishkovskaya
Psychologist at the Gestalt Center Nina Rubshtein

Marianna Volkova
Practicing psychologist, specialist in family and individual psychology

How to support someone if they are in shock

Stage No. 1: usually the person is completely shocked, confused and simply cannot believe the reality of what is happening.

What should I say. If you are really close friends, it is best for you to be close without relying on the phone, Skype or SMS. For some people, tactile contact and the ability to see their interlocutor in person are very important. “At this time, conversations and attempts to express condolences are not necessary,” Marianna Volkova is sure. - None. Therefore, if your friend asks you to stay close and at the same time refuses to communicate, do not try to get him to talk. Contrary to your expectations, things will not get easier for him. It’s worth talking about what happened only when your loved one is ready for it. In the meantime, you can hug, sit next to, hold hands, stroke the head, bring tea with lemon. All conversations are strictly on business or on abstract topics.”

What to do. The loss of a loved one, sudden terrible illnesses and other blows of fate require not only reflection, but also a lot of worries. Don’t think that providing this kind of help is easy. It requires a lot of emotional investment and is very exhausting. How to support a person in such a situation? First, ask how you can help. A lot depends on what condition your friend is in. You may have to take on organizational issues: calling, finding out, negotiating. Or give the unfortunate person a sedative. Or wait with him in the doctor’s waiting room. But, as a rule, it is enough to at least deal with everyday issues: clean up, wash the dishes, cook food.

How to support a person if he is acutely worried

Stage No. 2: accompanied by acute feelings, resentment, misunderstanding and even aggression.

What to do. It is clear that communication at this moment is difficult. But right now, a friend needs attention and support. Try to come more often, to be in touch if he is left alone. You can invite him to visit for a while. It is important to clearly understand whether you are mentally ready for this.

Words of condolences

“Most people, when expressing condolences, use common phrases that do not carry any meaning. Actually, this is a manifestation of politeness and nothing more. But when it comes to a loved one, something more than formality is needed. Of course, there is no template that fits every situation. But there are things that definitely shouldn’t be said,” says Marianna Volkova.

1. If you don’t know what to say, be silent. It’s better to hug one more time, show that you are nearby and ready to help at any moment.
2. Avoid expressions like “everything will be fine,” “everything will pass,” and “life goes on.” You seem to promise good things, but only in the future, not now. This kind of talk is annoying.
3. Try not to ask unnecessary questions. The only appropriate one in this situation is: “How can I help?” Everything else will wait.
4. Never utter words that could devalue the importance of what happened. “And some people can’t walk at all!” - this is not a consolation, but a mockery for a person who has lost, say, an arm.
5. If your goal is to provide moral support to a friend, first of all you yourself must be stoic. Sobbing, lamenting and talking about the injustice of life is unlikely to calm you down.

How to support someone if they are depressed

Stage No. 3: at this time the person becomes aware of what happened. Expect your friend to be depressed and depressed. But there is good news: he is beginning to understand that he needs to somehow move on.

What should I say. We are all different, so the best thing you can do is ask what exactly your loved one expects from you.

1. Some people need to talk about what happened.“There are people who, in a difficult situation, vitally need to speak out loud their emotions, fears and experiences. A friend doesn’t need condolences; your job is to listen. You can cry or laugh with him, but you shouldn’t give advice or put in your two cents in every possible way,” advises Marianna Volkova.
2. Some people need a distraction to cope with grief. You are required to talk about extraneous topics, to involve a person in resolving some issues. Invent urgent things that require full concentration and constant employment. Do everything so that your friend has no time to think about what he is trying to escape from.
3. There are people who, in difficult life situations, prefer loneliness - this makes it easier for them to cope with their emotions. If a friend tells you that they don't want any contact yet, the worst thing you can do is try to get under their skin with the best of intentions. Simply put, to forcefully “do good.” Leave the person alone, but be sure to make it clear that you are nearby and ready to provide all possible help at any time.

What to do.

1. In the first case, help of a domestic nature is often required, especially if your loved one is not one of those who easily negotiate, communicate and can easily choose the best of several proposed options.
2. You must help your friend move a little away from what happened. If you are connected by work issues, you can carry out distracting maneuvers in this direction. A good option- playing sports. The main thing is not to torture yourself and his grueling workouts, but choose what you like. You can go to the pool, court or yoga together. The goal is to try to have fun.
3. In the third case, you only need what is asked of you. Don't insist on anything. Invite them to “go out and unwind” (what if they agree?), but always leave the choice up to the person and don’t be intrusive.

How to support someone when they have already experienced grief

Stage No. 4: This is a period of adaptation. One might say – rehabilitation.

What should I say. It is at this time that a person re-establishes contacts, communication with others gradually takes on its usual form. Now a friend may need parties, travel and other attributes of life without mourning.

What to do. “If your friend is quite ready to communicate, there is no need to try to somehow behave “correctly” in his company. You should not try to forcefully cheer up, shake and bring to your senses. At the same time, you cannot avoid direct glances or sit with a sour face. The more familiar you establish the atmosphere, the easier it will be for a person,” Marianna Volkova is sure.

Visit to a psychologist

No matter what stage a person is in, friends sometimes try to provide help that is not needed. For example, forcefully send you to a psychologist. Here you will have to be especially careful, because sometimes it is necessary, and sometimes it is completely unnecessary.

“Experiencing trouble, sadness is a natural process that, as a rule, does not need professional help,” says psychologist Anna Shishkovskaya. – There is even a term “grief work”, the healing effect of which is possible provided that a person allows himself to go through all stages. However, this is precisely what becomes a problem for many: allowing oneself to feel, to face experiences. If we try to “run away” from strong, unpleasant emotions, to ignore them, the “work of grief” is disrupted, and “stuck” may occur at any stage. That’s when the help of a psychologist is really needed.”

Cons of support

The tragedy they experience sometimes gives people a reason to manipulate others. We are, of course, not talking about the first, most difficult period. But you may be required to be present continuously for a long time. Your personal life, work, desires will not be taken into account. Let's say you invited a friend to stay with you for a while - a fairly common practice. But all the agreed upon dates have long passed, and the person continues to visit. You are silent, because it is impolite to talk about inconveniences, but the natural result will be a damaged relationship.

The financial issue is no less important. It happens that time passes, everything that was needed has been done, but the need for investment does not disappear. And you, by inertia, continue to give money, afraid to refuse. " I noticed that you are starting to sacrifice yourself and your interests, which means there is a reason to talk and clarify the situation,” reminds Anna Shishkovskaya. – Otherwise, the accumulated resentment and indignation will one day provoke a serious conflict with mutual claims. It would be good not to lead to a scandal, but to define the boundaries in time.”

Personal dramas are just one of those very troubles that friends find themselves in. And your behavior during this period will certainly affect your relationship in one way or another. Therefore, you should rush to help only if you sincerely want it.

Good afternoon, dear readers! Every person wants to be taken care of and supported in difficult times. When you are in a relationship, you always try to be a support for your loved one. Today I want to talk to you about how to cheer up a man. What to do when he quits or his depression drags on and what is definitely best to avoid at such moments.

Office problems

A man’s work-related difficulties fall into two categories: he works too much or he has been without work for a long time. If you are in the first situation, then you cannot do without the article “”. In the article I talk about the characteristics of such men and what your support is like.

In my opinion, when a man has a job and devotes a lot of time to it, it is much better than when he sits at home and doesn’t even try to find a new occupation. Therefore, I want to focus on this problem.

To understand what tactics of behavior you should choose, you first need to decide what type of unemployed man you are. After all, we all approach problems differently and cope with crises differently.

The first option is a martyr. Such a man is always in a depressed mood and does not show any activity. He rarely leaves the house, prefers to watch TV series or TV shows, which no longer bring as much pleasure as before. If he spends time with you, he complains a lot.

He doesn’t want to do household chores; they are boring and uninteresting for him. humiliate his dignity. Previously, he was in good shape, clear, working competition, serious tasks. And now it’s like the whole world has stopped.

With such a man you need to act specific examples. If you did something good - well done! No matter how hard it is for you, no matter how much you want to switch from encouragement to sarcastic remarks - hold on. Remember all the good things this man has done for you and do not stop being his support in this difficult moment.

The second option is an insecure activist. Such a guy shows a lot of activity, but his mood is mostly bad and depressed. With his actions he is trying to plug the hole that appeared after his dismissal.

He can do all the housework just because he needs to move and do something. Constant interviews that do not end well and only spoil his mood even more. This man constantly talks about work.

Such a man is used to quickly solving a problem. And he began looking for work immediately. But the problem is that he is not emotionally ready for this yet. Hence the failures at interviews, he grabs at everything in sight and only gets even angrier when it doesn’t work out.

Try asking him what he would advise a friend to do if he found himself in the same situation as him. Help him in his search, let him not grab every vacancy, but choose something. Conduct a practice interview at home so that he is prepared and feels more confident (be sure to read and apply the recommendations from the article - How to prepare for an interview so that everything goes well).

The third option is a joker. Chic and high spirits, but there is absolutely no desire to look for a new job. This man can finally do all those things that he put off due to lack of time. He goes to visit relatives, plays sports or does minor repairs around the house. He looks active, but this activity is in no way aimed at finding a new job.

If you remain silent and do not show in any way that the situation is stressing you out, then you can live like this for a very long time. But remember that phrases like “let’s talk”, “what are you thinking about”, “I think you have problems” and so on repel men.

Try coming from the other side. Tell us about your emotions and feelings, experiences and fears. For example, offer to watch his favorite one, and then discuss plans.

The fourth option is a controller. Him good mood, the activity is bursting. Such a man can take up advanced training or start studying new topic. He will not get any job, maybe he has even refused several offers. The problem with such a partner is that he doesn’t tell anything, he just says that everything is under control.

I would like to offer you the article “”. In it you will find many useful and practical tips.

What to do if your lover is already in a bad mood for a long time, nothing makes him happy, he is often sick, he doesn’t want anything and you feel that at this rate he will soon fall into despair.

In such a situation, you need to understand how you can cheer him up. If he gets tired of a lot of digging and doesn’t want to see anyone, then you need to give him time to be alone with himself, but show him that you are always there and ready to provide all the necessary support.

If you know that friends have a beneficial influence, your man is charged with positivity from communication, then you should try to meet with friends, maybe invite them home or, conversely, get out of four walls.

Believe it or not, board games can be a great way to lift your mood. Invite a couple of close friends and have a Monopoly night. Let it be a fun and relaxing evening. Don't bring up serious topics, just take a break and relax. Maybe your boyfriend has a favorite board game from childhood?

You can make his dream come true. Find out about secret desire your partner. For example, he had long wanted to go karting and see all the parts of " star wars“in one evening, cook a huge pizza. Just don't put too much pressure on him. Make suggestions and see the reaction.

Walking lifts your spirits. You can try to take your loved one outside. Of course, it is better to choose a day when the weather is good. Travel to a place you've never been before. And don’t pester him with conversations.
Your care and affection may be excessive in an attempt to cheer up the man. Sometimes he wants to be alone with himself, think or do stupid things that distract him from all thoughts. Give him time to be alone.

What is better not to do

Don't ask too many questions. This tactic only makes you more irritated and angry. Another phrase “how are you” can simply make a man lose his temper. Women prefer to cry, eat sweets or buy a new pair of shoes. And the man closes down and tries to solve the problem. Give him time and show him that you are there and are always ready to listen, support and help. It will be much more useful and valuable.

Some women start to panic when a man experiences a crisis. They take over everything more, begin to worry that he has fallen out of love, or he has another woman, or he, or a million other options. Calm down and mind your own business. By panicking you are only making things worse.

Another problem for a woman who doesn’t know how to console her man is that she starts trying to save him. Do not do this. He is a man and must deal with the situation on his own. The best tactic is to show confidence in him.
There is nothing worse than unsolicited advice.

Even if you are sure that you have a brilliant idea, do not tell your loved one about it. Your advice may be perceived as doubting his ability to solve problems. If he asks for help and advice, then yes. In any other situation, keep the advice to yourself.

Under no circumstances should you reproach or blame your lover. Like, it’s your own fault, you’ll never cope, you can’t do anything, and so on. Now it’s hard for him, most likely, he doubts himself. At such a vulnerable moment, your words can deeply hurt him and cause serious harm.

Prepare him a delicious dinner, show him that you are there, that you are confident in him, that you know that he can handle it.

Tell your story: what is happening to your loved one now, how are you trying to cheer him up, how does he react to your help? After all, each situation is individual. Therefore, feel free to write to me and together we will find a way out of your situation.

Best wishes to you!

Sometimes supporting a person in difficult times means saving his life. Both loved ones and unfamiliar people. Absolutely anyone can provide help and support - moral, physical or material. To do this, you need to know which phrases and actions are the most significant. Timely help and sincere words will help a person return to their previous way of life and survive what happened.

Important! Today, taking care of yourself and having an attractive appearance at any age is very simple. How? Read the story carefully Marina Kozlova Read →

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Helping people in difficult situations

There are many situations in a person’s life that require psychological, moral and even physical help. In this case, the presence of people is necessary - relatives, friends, acquaintances or just strangers. The degree of emotional closeness and duration of acquaintance does not matter.

To support a person, it is not necessary to have a special education; a sincere desire to help and a sense of tact are enough. After all, correctly chosen and sincere words can change a person’s attitude towards the current situation.

Shared experience



Understanding

A person in trouble should know that he is understood. It is very important to have a like-minded person nearby during this period. If the situation is related to the loss of a loved one or a job, remembering a personal example will be the most effective medicine. It is recommended to tell how difficult it was during this period and how successfully everything ended in the end. But you shouldn’t focus on your heroism and quick solutions to problems. You just need to say that everyone has such problems, and a friend will definitely cope with them too.



All will pass

You need to convince the person that you need to wait a little, and it will become much easier. The knowledge that everything will be fine will create an atmosphere of security and peace.

Guilt

In difficult times, it is common for a person to blame himself for all troubles. He tries to shift responsibility for actions to which he has nothing to do. In this case, the task of close people is to dissuade the person from this. Try to refute all possible positive outcomes of the situation. If there is still a person’s fault in what happened, you need to try to make amends for it. It is recommended to find words that will help convince a person to ask for forgiveness, which is necessary for his own good.

Solution

A direct question about how you can help a person in this situation will be very effective. You can offer your own solutions without waiting for his request. Sincere interest and taking action will make you feel supported by others.

Under no circumstances should you use the phrases: “forget”, “don’t worry”, “don’t cry”, “it’s even better”. Attempts to “bring him to his senses” with the help of shouting, accusations and sudden movements will lead nowhere. Such “help” can lead to aggravation of the situation.

How to support the man you love

Representatives of the stronger sex try to restrain their emotions, so most often they withdraw into themselves. This makes the experience even stronger, and a mental wound brings not only psychological distress, but also physical pain. The girl at this moment should be as attentive and caring as possible, but in no case intrusive.

If your husband has problems at work, which are accompanied by material losses, it is necessary to say the most important words for a man: “Money cannot affect our relationship in any way. I will always be there." This should be said as calmly as possible, with a smile and tenderness. Excessive emotionality or nervousness will confirm a man’s fears that the relationship is purely mercantile in nature.

If the problems are related to relationships in the work team or relatives, an assurance that the girl is on the guy’s side would be appropriate. He has no need to reproach himself and feel guilty. The woman he loves completely shares his point of view and will do everything necessary to resolve the situation successfully. It doesn’t hurt to tell the man that he is strong and will definitely cope with problems. Self-esteem will not allow him not to live up to the expectations placed on him. SMS with words of love or poetry during the working day will cheer him up. An example of such a message:




Words of support for the woman you love

To help the woman you love, you should start with affection and tenderness, the essence of the problem does not matter. First of all, you need to hug, kiss and calm her down. The most necessary words at this moment will be: “Calm down, I’m here and I love you. Trust me". Then you can continue hugging, drink tea and wait for complete calm. Only after this is it recommended to calmly understand the situation, making sure to take the side of the woman you love.

Help should be provided, both moral and physical. You may have to talk to the offenders, sort things out, and take some action. In a word - shift some of the work onto yourself. Feeling a strong man's shoulder and real help, any girl will calm down, no matter how difficult the situation may be. A small gift, a trip to a restaurant or theater will quickly return her to her former life. Phone calls during the day, SMS in the form of words of love and support in prose or poetry will be very appropriate. An example of such a message:




How to comfort a sick person

Support for a sick person can be provided in the form of words and actions. But this is not always possible, since people may be at a distance from each other.

Good words

The most valuable way to help a suffering person is through words of encouragement. To calm the patient, you can:

• Speak words about love. They must be repeated sincerely, with genuine participation. By voicing the phrase: “I love you very much and will always be there,” you can calm the person and create an atmosphere of security.
• To compliment. Sick people are very vulnerable, so they listen to every word and gesture of those around them. Notes on the most minor changes in appearance in better side will sound like compliments. Even if these changes do not exist, it is recommended to mention their presence. A sick person is unable to perceive reality objectively. In the case of oncology, this will give the sufferer hope for a miracle; in the case of a severe non-fatal illness, it will speed up recovery.
• Praise. A sick person should be praised for every little thing, even for eating a spoon or a sip of water. A positive attitude will contribute to a speedy recovery or relief of the patient’s condition.
• Maintain at a distance. A phone call or Skype conversation would be appropriate. It is very important for the patient to hear a familiar voice and see a familiar face. Further actions will be constant SMS, written poems, sent pictures and all those things that the patient likes. But the most significant phrase will be: “I’m already on my way.”
• Talk about abstract topics. It is worth moving away from boring topics and giving preference to light and cheerful ones. We must try to remember an interesting story, an anecdote, or tell funny news. You can try to discuss neutral topics: a book you read, a movie, a recipe - anything that interests the patient at least a little.

Forbidden words

Some phrases can harm a sick person. You should not talk about the following topics:

• Disease. You should not discuss symptoms, look for their confirmation, or give similar examples from the lives of people you know. The only exceptions can be happy cases of successful healing.
• Friends' reaction. A sick person does not necessarily need to know what reaction his illness has caused in others. If anyone is moved by this, let him visit him personally (do not notify him in advance, since the visit may be disrupted and the patient will be disappointed). A smart solution would be to simply say hi and share news about someone you know.
• Personal impression. There is absolutely no need to tell what reaction the illness caused in the helping person or nearby relatives. Trying to demonstrate your compassion, you can upset the patient even more, since he has become the culprit of the worries and continues to torment his loved ones with his situation.
• Distance. If the terrible news about the disease loved one caught up far from him, the best solution would be to immediately hit the road. It is necessary to inform about this. Resolution of issues, negotiations with superiors regarding departure and other problems should remain secret. The patient should not know about matters that may be more important than him. If it is not possible to come, then you can refer to the lack of tickets, bad weather and other factors. Here a lie will be to your salvation, since waiting can prolong the patient’s life.
• A pity. If the disease is fatal, the pity of loved ones will constantly remind you of this, causing a bad mood and deterioration in well-being. If the disease is not so serious, then there is a risk of its complications, since the patient will think that something is not being told to him. Sometimes the patient may have a reluctance to recover, since constant pity causes addiction and even feigning.

Helpful Actions

Correct actions towards the patient contribute to recovery or can alleviate the course of the disease:

• Care. Some patients require constant care because they cannot do anything on their own. But even if a person does not need intensive care, attention and care will only benefit him. It would be appropriate to simply offer to lie down and make tea. Good help would be cleaning the apartment or preparing dinner. The main thing is to correctly assess the situation and help only if necessary. You should not forcibly remove the patient from his usual duties by persistently sending him to rest. Sometimes it's enough just to be there and allow you to take care of yourself. This will allow the sick person to forget about his illness for a while and feel needed.
• Abstraction. It is useful to distract the patient from medical procedures and conversations about pills. If a person has the opportunity to move, it is necessary to persuade him to take a walk in the fresh air. You can visit some events, exhibitions, museums, creative evenings, etc. The changed appearance should not be a hindrance; the main task will be to convince the patient that now positive emotions much more important than the perception of others.

Condolences after the passing of a loved one

The irreparable loss of loved ones causes severe suffering that a person cannot cope with without outside help. In order to provide the necessary support in a timely manner, it is recommended to familiarize yourself with the main phases of the emotional state in this situation:

• Shock. May last from a few minutes to several weeks. The inability to perceive reality is accompanied by a lack of control over emotions. Attacks may be accompanied by a violent manifestation of grief or complete inaction with stony calm and detachment. The person does not eat anything, does not sleep, does not talk and hardly moves. At this moment he needs psychological help. A reasonable decision would be to leave him alone, not to impose your care, not to try to force feed or drink, or start a conversation with him. You just need to be there, hug, take your hand. It is important to closely monitor the reaction. Do not start conversations on the topic: “if only we had known earlier, we had time, etc.” It is no longer possible to return anything, so you should not provoke feelings of guilt. There is no need to talk about the deceased in the present tense, to remember his torment. It is not recommended to make plans for the future: “everything is ahead, you will still have time, you will find more, life goes on...”. It would be much better to help with organizing the funeral, cleaning, and preparing food.
• Experience. This period ends after two months. At this time, the person is a little slow, has poor orientation, almost cannot concentrate, and every extra word or gesture can make him cry. The feeling of a lump in the throat and sad memories prevent you from falling asleep, and there is no appetite. Memories of the deceased cause feelings of guilt, idealization of the image of the deceased or aggression towards him. During this period you can support a person kind words about the deceased. Such behavior will confirm a positive attitude towards the deceased person and will become the basis for a general feeling about his death. There is no need to give examples of other people who have experienced even greater grief. This will be perceived as tactless and disrespectful. Walking, simple activities, and a simple release of emotions in the form of joint tears will be very effective. If a person wants to be alone, do not disturb him. At the same time, you need to constantly be in touch, call or write messages.
• Awareness. This phase tends to end a year after the loss. A person may still suffer, but he already realizes the irreversibility of the situation. He gradually enters his usual routine, and it becomes possible to concentrate on work issues or everyday problems. Attacks of unbearable mental pain are becoming less frequent. During this period, he had almost returned to normal life, but the bitterness of loss was still present. Therefore, it is necessary to unobtrusively introduce him to new types of activities and recreation. This needs to be done as tactfully as possible. You should control your words and be understanding of possible deviations from his usual behavior.
• Recovery. A person fully recovers a year and a half after the loss. Acute pain is replaced by quiet sadness. Memories are not always accompanied by tears; it becomes possible to control emotions. A person tries to take care of loved ones who are living today, but he still needs the help of a true friend.

If the described phases are delayed in time or do not take place, it is necessary to urgently seek help from specialists. This condition is dangerous and can lead to serious illnesses.

Many girls Since childhood, mothers and grandmothers taught the basics of communication with a man. Surely you have heard at least once that a loved one needs to be supported, understood and inspired, but few people know how to do it correctly.

In fact, morally men weaker than women, and if a representative of the fair sex discharges herself in the form of tears, then such behavior is not permissible for a man. As a result, problems accumulate, fatigue, nervousness and, as a result, poor health appear.

Constantly nervous man's tension can have a negative impact on the family, because this is why divorces and scandals happen. The mistake of many women is that they believe that their loved one can handle it on his own, because he is strong, but in fact this is not entirely true. He needs support, and what kind of support too. There are often men who are more vulnerable than many of the fair sex. Clever woman will always understand that something is wrong with a loved one, and will be able to support him in difficult times.

The support is yours duty, if you have entered into a relationship with a young man, because this is how mutual understanding and trust are built. Unfortunately, a strong relationship is not only love and joy, but also difficulties that we need to fight together.

How to properly support your beloved man in a difficult situation for him?

1. Don't pressure him with your questions.. The mistake of most women is that, having learned about the difficulties of their loved one, they immediately begin to ask him about the nuances, little things and try to find out all the details. In fact, you are only making it worse, because he came home to relax and take a little break from what is bothering him, and you again remind him that everything is bad.

Do not under any circumstances ask questions, if you see that he is feeling bad. Just let him know that no matter what problems he has, you love him and want to be his support. Just tell him about your news, share your positive mood and try to give him mental relaxation. This could be a family dinner, a quiet conversation on topics that are interesting to both of you, or just sleeping together with hugs.

If you start on it press, this will not lead to anything good; most likely, he will eventually leave the apartment in order to unwind and get positive emotions from other people. A man should feel comfortable at home, especially when he has problems, so be supportive and don’t ask unnecessary questions.

2. Extra comments. If everything is good enough in your relationship with your loved one, as soon as he calms down and can soberly assess the situation, he will probably tell you everything himself. Here, too, you need to be careful, because incorrect comments and remarks can aggravate the situation. Try not to comment on his story, just nod approvingly and look understandingly into his eyes. This way he will understand that you understand him, but do not judge him.

Many women they make the mistake of attacking that he did something wrong, and that in this situation everything should have been replayed differently. Under no circumstances should this be done, because next time he simply won’t want to share his experiences anymore. Tell him that he is right, but who is to blame that everything turned out like this? Remove responsibility from him, at least for a couple of days. Do not doubt that he will know that it is he who is to blame, but the confidence that you do not think so will give him joy and peace of mind. After talking with you, he should have spiritual balance and calm, and not a new stream of negative emotions. Unfortunately, not all women know that one of the main secrets of a happy family life is the ability to listen at the right time.

3. If he wants your opinion, be reasonable.. There are situations when, after your loved one tells you about a problem, he still wants to get some kind of comment from you. You need to be careful here, because any word you say can aggravate the problem. Be sure to remember if there was a similar situation among your friends. Surely you will remember a couple of examples and be able to tell your loved one about it. Think together about how your friends got out of certain situations, and what you can do in the case of your loved one. Speak quietly, unemotionally, and under no circumstances judge or reproach the man. Try to come up with solutions to the problem and share your ideas with him.

4. Use Right words support. If you start reproaching him for what he did something wrong, what you would have done differently and why he didn’t think, then you will only grow a wall between you. He says the right words, and then your relationship will become even better and more trusting. “It’s not your fault” - this phrase has a magical effect on a man, because he stops feeling guilty and understands that you are the only person who does not blame him for the current situation. “All this can be fixed” - this phrase will help him spread his wings and understand that there is still time, the main thing is to make an effort. Stop any of his attempts to engage in self-flagellation, because most often this does not lead to anything good.

5. Give your loved one a holiday. Surely his problems are related to work, finances or relationships with others. Therefore, he should rest and relax. If you have any financial savings, spend them on joint vacation. You don’t have to go to a resort for several weeks; you can just rent a house in the countryside and spend two days with each other. After rest, your loved one will be able to reassess the situation and find new solutions. Your task is to provide him with comfort and coziness. Cook delicious breakfasts, go to concerts or relax near the lake with a bottle of delicious wine. It doesn’t matter at all what you choose as the basis of your holiday, the most important thing is that your loved one likes it.

6. Give him a gift. Nothing lifts your spirits like something you’ve been dreaming about for so long. Of course, you shouldn’t take out a loan and buy expensive equipment, but your loved one probably has a dream that is quite affordable financially. Such an act on your part will be a real help in a difficult situation, because when a man is at the peak of despair, a small gift instantly changes the situation.

If you don't know what to give him, buy ticket on soccer ball or to the premiere of a film that interests him. You can even just invite him to a pub where they serve his favorite drink. It is advisable to make a surprise, because it will give new emotions and distract. If you don’t know at all how to please your man, call his friends and ask them for advice.